Monday, October 31, 2005

Bella, a.k.a. Lunchroom Bully

This past weekend was a doozy... a breakfast and three parties on Saturday, followed by a baby shower and a dinner on Sunday. Somehow I snuck in a house clean-up on Sunday morning, while Jason was at the library like a good little school-goer. I even managed to make a large casserole dish of one of my favorite veggie-head meals - Tofu, Quinoa & Chickpea Enchiladas - to feed us at lunchtime for the week.

So there it was, sitting innocently on top of the stove to cool. No animal products in there, no siree bob! Just some beans and grains and such. A little mexican-flavoured Ground Round. No meat, no blood. Not a moo or cluck in sight!

As Jason and I drove away from the house that afternoon, I remarked that we had left the casserole sitting on the stove. Maybe Bella-girl would be entranced by the smells? Jason figured that we wouldn't be gone long, and that Bella's position of sacked-out-on-the-couch would remain a constant until we returned. As there was nothing in the dish to attract Bella's roving nose, I agreed and we happily sped off.

Well, nothing but a fine smattering of cheese along the top...

As the hours passed, Jason and I both started to get a little nervous. Bella's nap would surely be over by now, and the casserole's position on the stovetop became more and more perilous.

We walked through the front door to the sight of Bella perched on her chair. Ears pinned back. Head waaaay down. No tail thumping against the cushion. The guilt was so apparent in her big brown eyes, it was almost laughable.

Laughable if I weren't counting on that casserole for my lunch this week! Never, ever steal food from a pregnant lady!

Upon immediate survey of the kitchen, it seemed that Bella had eaten the entire 9x13" casserole right off the stovetop. Well, save the chickpeas that she thoughtfully spat out on the floor for us to have... while she might like tofu and cheese, it seems that chickpeas are not part of our little glutton's food reperatoire!

Jason quickly dragged all 60lbs of her by the scruff of the neck into the kitchen, Bella pushing with her front paws against the floor to try stopping him. She hung limply at his side as he berated her amidst the rejected chickpeas. Bad Dog!

Both of us were suppressing giggles the entire time, as Bella cowered at our feet, feeling shame, looking up at us with her big brown eyes.

Her tummy was so distended, we knew we'd have to take her with us to our dinner date in fear of leaving her at home. All that fiber, what if she needed to go outside? Every once in a while, she'd let out a nasty mexican-flavoured burp. Yikes.

I sat on the couch not 10 minutes later, and she sidled up beside me and placed her head on my lap with her puppydog eyes. She was still feeling shame. How could I resist, she's so cute???? I petted her little head.

It's occurred to me that Jason will more likely be a successful disciplinarian than I with our children. I crack so easy.

He lasted at least 3 minutes longer than I.

The funny thing is, people talk about dogs not having any long-term memory. I think it's BS. I know that days later I could pull out the dirty casserole dish and Bella would drop to the ground with her ears pinned back, immediately reliving the shame. How many kids do you know that are so well-trained? Tee hee.


  1. that is too funny. it cracks me up how dogs can eat out of dishes on the counter without knocking anything off or breaking anything... and I agree that they remember longer than some kids!

  2. Very amusing story. It's hard to blame Bella just for being a dog - that casserole dish was obviously too tempting a target!

    People who say that pets don't feel emotions or have long term memories of their experiences have never actually spent time with their pets.