Most things take longer these days, mostly because my baby is no longer a baby - she is a girl! An individual, an independant soul, a little fairy spreading her pixie dust and laughter all over the house like confetti. I can no longer feed her bits of banana, this girl wants to do everything by herself! That includes diaper changes, baths, getting dressed, snapping the buckle on the carseat and nursing!
Oh yes, the nursing. Ah, I remember the foolish post a while back about weaning. WEANING! HAHAHA! Not if Carmen can help it! Carmen's nursing has taken on a whole new, and acrobatic, dimension. She headstands, faceplants, downward-dogs and battering rams into my poor breasts. She flits from one side to the other capriciously, pulls away and smacks her lips, nuzzles some more, twiddles my nipples, crawls around and then comes back again. I am her jungle gym, her activity mat with refreshments. It is hilarious and aggravating at the same time! Nighttimes are the best time - the only time I can hold her in my arms for more than two seconds to nurse properly. But then the dog barks. Or Jason comes upstairs. Or the phone rings. Any small diversion and she is arching her back, trying to escape my lap to see what the hubbub is about! But if I decide enough is enough, she is either screaming in her crib, or back a few minutes later to nibble on my shoulder - the international sign for "I'm HUNGRY"...
Signing. I took a signing course. I sign to her all the time. I swear that at one point she was signing back "milk" but I must have been dreaming! Carmen has invented her own form of sign language. Biting my shoulder for milk. Arching her back and screaming for "I don't want
But she does clap and wave. So maybe all hope is not lost. I'll keep trying.
I've been feeling the need to "let go" a bit. While I still make homemade organic meals for Carmen, it's okay if someone feeds her a Kraft Cheese Slice. It's okay if she is covered in dog hair for a good portion of the day. It's okay if I drink a beer while she's nursing (!), or if I let her taste a bit of chocolate. It's okay if she throws her food off the highchair table down to the dog...
Well, so long as the bowl isn't included next time...
I've been going out and doing a lot more fun things - most recently, three of my former clients with older babes showed up at my doorstep and (thank god) kidnapped Carmen and I to take over the Foundation for beer and natchos! The girls happily cruised around the (probably filthy) retro furniture while we ladies shared a pitcher and dove into a giant plate of natchos! Fun for all the girls! Jason and I have been active more, on walks and runs and to the doggy beach.
Maybe subconciously it's because Jason and I have officially pulled the goalie and are thinking about baby #2. Carmen enjoys other kids so much that I can't imagine her not having siblings. It's a scary prospect though when I think about how much our lives changed with just one! It seems that people are divided in their reactions - either we're crazy, or not crazy. Hmph. In any case, I feel like I need to live it up a bit, before I get pregnant again and give up my body to another lil'un for a few years.
