Vodka Slurpee - Tales from my Stagette

It's 4:45pm on a Thursday and I'm sitting in a meeting room with my manager and another senior co-worker. We're in the home stretch of a 3 hr meeting about project plan estimates and I am ready to nod off. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a tall female breeze past the window... it's Lisa! She stands imposingly in front of the window - two big blond ponytails flaring off the top of her head - and taps the glass mouthing the words "WE WANT YOU". My co-workers look up in confusion, but I know that my stagette has just begun.

She pops in - "Are you going to need her much longer?" Setting a giant multi-coloured Slurpee in front of me that she instructs me to start drinking NOW, Lisa saunters back out to wait the 10 minutes requested by my boss. I can now see more of my girlfriends, Annalise and Jenn, milling outside the meeting room - I love that my girlfriends just barge into my workspace and take over, too funny! As the meeting drags on, I take a tentative pull from the Slurpee. EGAD!!!! Can anyone else smell the liquor in this thing? What have they in store for me?

I find out quickly enough. Waiting in my cubicle is an old 70's wedding dress, courtesy of Jenn's mom, complete with a veil and a BAD GIRL wand. A shot glass on beads around my neck, a bib covered in ex-boyfriend's names asking "WHO'S MY DADDY?" and a few candy necklaces and I am ready for action!

Better start drinking the Slurpee. Liquid courage!

Hmmm, where's a great place to get drunk, get guys to eat candy off your neck and have a good time? Why, PLAYLAND, of course!

We get into the park and there are kids and parents everywhere. The greasy carnies that the girls had envisioned devouring candies from my neck were replaced by peach-fuzzed 17yr-olds... luckily there were lots of security guards and such to harass. One nipple-ringed dad was having a little too good a time with the candy part, I think he left marks! The head of security even agreed to handcuff me for a kiss on the cheek. The innocent-looking 16yr-old Karen - "Oh my gosh, you actually brought alcohol to Playland???" - did a wonderful job on my airbrushed Grim Reaper tattoo!

The BAD GIRL wand was a great weapon used to smack bums. Especially after the water bottle I take a swig from is filled with straight vodka. Baaaaaaaaaaaaad Andrea!

The rides were a gas, especially the one Andrea and I went on together. Bumper cars, rollercoasters... the last one left me a little queasy - time to exit the park! Off to Toby's for some good ol' fashioned liquor mixing - Tequila, vodka, Baileys, Sambuca... Andrea passes me a prepackaged shot glass full of unknown candy-coloured liquid, she's got a stash of them in her purse! After a few rounds of natchos, it's decided that I must go back out to the fray and get rid of the rest of my candy necklaces...

The last thing I remember is Jason peeling my contact lenses off my eyeballs close to 1am. I can't believe I'm actually at work today. Good thing I have the Grim Reaper to keep me company, that tattoo sure has staying power!