Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Month Four - Drooooooooooooool


Take One! Posted by Picasa

A year ago this past Sunday, Jason and I got married. A year and a week ago, we found out we were pregnant! Not bad after only a month and a half of trying!

Now it's been four whole months since this little girl came out into the world - I can't believe how much has happened since then. She's charmed us in ways I never imagined.


Take Two! Posted by Picasa

On Friday, our little family packed up our Matrix and headed for the Island to spend the weekend with my family at Macktush - a campground that my parents run out on the Port Alberni inlet. Grandma had the stroller and playpen waiting at the campsite, armed with mosquito netting and sunshades! She was pretty excited to get some Grandma-time... we were pretty excited too, to get a little time alone!


Take Three! Posted by Picasa

Normally we are avid cloth-diaperers, but weekends away mean no access to diaper pails and such so we had to go the Pampers route. I hate disposable diapers with a passion - and now more so. I was wearing Carmen in the carrier and my red Holey Soles while waiting in the diaper changeroom lineup on the ferry. I started feeling a warm oozing sensation between my toes. Sure enough, Carmen had blasted through yet another Pamper, this time all down her legs and into my shoes. There was mustard-poo everywhere. A few young teens looked at me in horror as I laughed and laughed, while the other moms chortled to themselves, glad it wasn't them! Yep, that's my daughter!


Kisses! Posted by Picasa

Carmen has had a few tastes of the banana from my morning oatmeal now - she watches everything that goes in my mouth and smacks her lips! It's crazy to think that soon she will be eating real food. She has also started to play with the crazy red Lamaze elephant given to us by a friend - she used to just be terrified of it! Her little hands grab for the rattle parts while she tries to jam the crunchy sounding ears in her mouth.

She has also become quite the drool-asaurus... everything she wears gets soaked so now I make sure she's always got a bib on. I was given a huge stack of these teeny bibs by my grandma and I couldn't figure out what we were going to do with them all. Now I know.


Daddy's Reverse Football - THE BEST Posted by Picasa

Friday, August 11, 2006

Month Three and a Bit - Daddy's Girl

Well I know she's my daughter... but she sure doesn't look anything like me! I think it's fair to say that Carmen takes after her Daddy!


Daddy's Girl Posted by Picasa

Carmen is almost 4 months now - it's hard to believe that so much time has passed already!

Now when we go on walks together, she loves to face outwards and take in as much as she can. As we walk, her eyes dart from Bella chasing around, to the birds pecking at the grass, to the flowers and the trees that I point out to her. We carry on a steady stream of conversation, the two of us, on these walks. Everyday these conversations are punctuated by more and more giggles and sputters and sounds that I realize how quickly she is growing up, and by how much she desperately wants to communicate!

Each morning we wake up to her giggles and "BLARL"s coming from the crib. She waits patiently while Daddy changes her, positively beaming at him with and ear-to-ear smile every time! He brings her in to me for a visit to the milk bar, then goes downstairs to work on homework before school. Carmen and I snuggle up in bed together for a few precious hours of sleep. She is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I remember when I used to nurse her while we were lying down and I would struggle to nuzzle the top of her little head - now it reaches much closer to my chin and her reddish-blonde fuzz tickles my lips!

Time is passing so quickly.

Each morning I put her on the floor for some tummy time (which she still hates) and some time with the "Kick n' Play" gym... man, can she ever kick the crap outta that thing! Jason and I joke that she's going to grow up a slot-machine junkie, just by the way she reacts when the lights and music go off on this toy! She splashes around in the tub now too, infatuated with the spray of the water and the sound it makes. She even loves the sound of the water draining from the tub.

I see little bits of brown in her eyes now and wonder if she will get my eyes or her Daddy's everchanging green-blue-grey eyes. Everything else is pure Camp, from the prehensile toes that she will eventually pick up hammers with, right down to the divot in the centre of her chest. My only hope is that she stays away from rugby - I don't think I could stomach seeing her get bruised, battered or concussed in the name of fun! Maybe I am already too overprotective? I think she will grow up enjoying the element of adventure - I already know she loves the feeling of the wind in her face and what she sees in the world out in front of her.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Jason & Kristi's Wedding - August 5th, 2006

Just got back from my little brother's wedding - how amazing! Here are some of the nicer shots from our wee little camera! I'm no Nunuboo, but these will do until we see the photographer's shots!


Carmen - almost 4 months! Posted by Picasa


Cousins! Posted by Picasa


Carmen's Pre-Wedding Advice for Uncle Jason Posted by Picasa


Auntie Karen & Ashley Posted by Picasa


Grandma Wolff! Posted by Picasa


Louise meets Carmen Posted by Picasa


Daddy & Carmen enjoying a beer Posted by Picasa


Great Grandma Wolff hits Carmen's Snooze Button Posted by Picasa


Smooch! Posted by Picasa


Kristi & Jason Wolff Posted by Picasa


Men in Black Posted by Picasa


Fun with the Photographer Posted by Picasa


Wolff Women! Posted by Picasa

Friday, June 23, 2006

Month Two - Father's Day

Carmen turned 2 months old on Father's Day! Our little family had went over to Victoria to watch sis-in-law Andrea compete in the New Balance Half-Ironman, the race that Jason and I had run last year. What a great trip!


Just hangin' out Posted by Picasa

Carmen is now smiling, cooing and gurgling, batting at toys hanging in front of her and sleeping in a regular pattern. She even sleeps peacefully through one of my morning Stroller Fitness classes, when before I would have to put her in the Snugli as I pushed the empty stroller! She's just over 10lbs, so by the end of class I'd be pretty wiped.

Most of Carmen's days are predictable:

05:00 - wake up in crib, nursing laying down in Mommy & Daddy's bed
08:00 - wake up with Mommy really really happy!
11:00 - nurse, then nod off during Snugli or stroller walk with Mommy and Bella
13:00 - Fit 4 Two class of some sort
14:00 - nurse
15:00 - visit with other babies over coffee time with other moms!
17:00 - nurse, watch Daddy make dinner (thanks Daddy!)
20:00 - start evening fussy period, including cluster feeding to get ready for my big sleep!
23:00 - tire myself out from extended fussy period, go to sleep in crib!

Ah yes, the joys of the evening fussy period! During Carmen's nights, she alternates between burping, cooing, screaming and nursing. There are a few sure-fire things that we've figured out:

1. carry her over the shoulder like a sack of flour and pat her bum while walking around
2. put her in the sling and insert pinkie into her mouth
3. put her in carseat and swing it back and forth
4. bathe her, followed by blowdrying and massaging with shea butter

At least we aren't going crazy anymore, and her fussy period is way more bearable!

I decided to join a special mom's group called "Mothers Unfolding" with a Dancing Star Births - it is amazing! I still go to the parent-infant dropins at my health unit, but I find them so clinical and boring compared to my MU group! There are nine of us with babies born within days of each other and we dish about feelings, relationships, sex, you name it. I feel very priviledged to be part of something so great!

Carmen's Father's Day gift to Jason was a BIG SMILE! I guess I take her smiles for granted because I get to be around her all day to see them, but Jason was waiting and waiting for her to smile in response to him. I think she was just holding out for the big day!


Sacked out on Daddy's lap after a loooooooong day! Posted by Picasa

Friday, June 9, 2006

Letter to Carmen


Ooooh! Posted by Picasa

Forgive me.

Forgive me for not writing this on scented pink paper with perfect penmanship to present to you on your 13th birthday. But I'm only one person and I just don't have time for good copies, I only have time to backspace and delete my mistakes in between the burpings, the laundry and the endless diaper changes.

Sometimes I feel like you take it all out of me - the milk from my breasts, the tears from my eyes, the breath from my lungs. And then with a single smile or gurgle or coo, you put it all back in. These past weeks have been like a sea with waves of elation and troughs of despair, I have become well-acquainted with feeling like the victor and the failure all at once.

But those good times, boy are they good. And they are getting closer and closer together. Someone told me that after I had you in my arms, that I would forget the pain of labour and the trials of pregnancy. They were mostly right. When you're lying on my chest, I rub my hands back and forth around your diapered bum and remember how I did the same while you were still inside me. My labour with you was much like an athletic event - maybe a three-legged race with you and I both working towards the finish line. I will never forget the exhileration, exhaustion or mental side of the pain, but the sensation is gone.

Today we had a bath together. I love the way you freak out when you hit the water and then immediately relax into its warmth. I hurriedly lather you in delicious smelling baby soap while you toss your head this way and that, blinking and sputtering if you accidentally turn too far! I pull your naked body towards mine while enveloping you in a fluffy yellow duck towel after rinsing the bubbles from your skin. As we make our way back to the change table, you are angry with me for pulling you from your bathtub womb, but all is forgotten once I've turned on the blowdryer - your favourite toy! The warm breeze makes your frantic legs and arms melt down into the table. If you could hang your tongue out the side of your mouth and drool, I'm sure you would!

As you are basking in your tropical diaper change paradise, you make eye contact with me. You smile, a glorious radiant smile! I am caught off-guard as a stream of bright yellow poo escapes you. I recoil in surprise, your right leg hooked in the sleeve of my bathrobe. As my arm lifts so does your bum, sending the next stream rocketing across the table and now down the wall. You are still smiling and, miraculously, so am I!

I carry you over to the tub and back into the bathwater, but you are not done. The bathwater turns an ugly shade... surely you must have inherited this type of behaviour from your father! The only towel I have on hand is a pretty pink hooded towel with your name emblazoned across the back - your "Rocky" towel. As I fervently wish that you don't poo on it as well, I wonder quickly why all baby things are pretty pastel colours and not mustard yellow? Never one to disappoint, you make short work of the towel and it is soon covered with pee instead of poo. You are still smiling, and so am I.


The Poopinator! Posted by Picasa

I know you are my daughter the way you can take something bad and make it good. I hope to impart so many things to you - not to sweat the small stuff, to respect yourself, to be touchy-feely - a lot of this stems from issues that I wish I didn't have. I want you to love deeply and openly, to take care of the people in your life, and to be nurtured by others in return. I want you to trust your gut and take chances, but not be foolish. I want you to believe that you are capable of anything and to follow your heart. I guess I can only lead by example.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

My New Breast Friend - Month One

I will be the first to admit that I had seriously underestimated the workload that is being a stay-at-home-mom.

The first three weeks were easy as pie. Baby eats, baby sleeps, baby poops and repeat. The schedule was intact, the diapers were stacked and naps were being had alongside the happily-sleeping Carmen Jade.

The next three weeks, notsomuch.

Carmen is now closing in on six weeks and it shows. She's over 8lbs with pudgy thighs and arms - she even fits into the cute little Robeez slippers! She is quickly outgrowing the old-school Snugli we have, the one that Jason wears with pride even though it has a big feminine bow on the back and makes him look like a pregnant man! We even had to move up in diaper size, although we realized our earlier error in moving up too quickly when the poo streamed down her leg and all over my clothes!

She tolerates the stroller, hates the carseat, but loves to go outside and out for visits. She is alert a lot more now and demands attention and playtime, usually when I am trying to eat! I've had many one-handed meals where my pinkie is stuck in her mouth to soothe her until I've finished. I think this is why it's been so easy for me to return to my (mostly) normal weight!

Carmen also likes to join me in my afternoon Pilates session. When I roll out my yoga mat, I put her quilt down on the floor beside me for some tummy time. She sits on my hips for Baby Bridges and ab curls. She even does a mean Double Leg Stretch!

Unfortunately I've developed Carpal Tunnel in my right hand again from breastfeeding, so I can't do much yoga. The splint I'm wearing is annoying, but it definitely helps. It's also quite fashionable - as if!

I started pumping my breastmilk to allow me a bit of freedom, not to mention relieve the stress around being the only one that could feed her! In the first few weeks, I would often wake up and think that I was in the middle of nursing, madly patting the duvet around me in search of my missing baby! I even woke up once seated upright, with my nursing bra pulled down and boob out, air-nursing the invisible infant cradled in my arms!

I haven't actually tried using a bottle with Carmen, but Jason has successfully fed her a couple of times now. I think if I tried, she would smell my boobs and push the bottle aside - even when I'm just holding her in my arms, she will peck my nipples through my clothes! She gets that from her daddy...

I've returned to teaching a few times a week now, which is great for my well-being and also for Jason, to give him a bit of daddy-only time before he starts school in July. Lenore, the woman across the road, is going to help me with child care for a few hours here and there.

I was having misgivings about leaving her with someone so early. However, the other night Carmen was going berserk with gas - Jason was out and I was in tears with frustration and remorse for having eaten brocolli the previous evening, inflicting my poisonous breastmilk on my daughter! After nearly 21/2 hrs of her crying, Lenore saw me out on the front porch and told me to come over. She proceeded to whack the crap out of Carmen, along with about 5 burps and a fart. As I stared agape - half in horror and half amazed - she explained that she was NOT beating my child, but burping her like a baby instead of a fine porcelain doll. Needless to say, after teaching me three new burping positions and calming my daughter in less than 10 minutes, Lenore was HIRED.

When I choose to watch what I'm eating, my breastmilk has become Liquid Gold. I can use it to drug my darling daughter in order for her to sleep through an entire haircut appointment in her carseat! In the first three days of her life, the colostrum I was producing sustained my little cutie, but she was always quite alert after feedings. On day three, my milk came in and her first feeding nearly knocked her out! Her arms and legs dangled loosely at her sides, her jaw was slack and her eyes rolled back in her head! She let out a massive burp, much like Barney from the Simpsons. I was so worried about her lethargy that I called the midwives, who said casually, "Oh, that's just Drunk Baby."

Bella has become quite protective of us when we are out and about. I had to breastfeed her in the middle of an outing to the park today. As I perched on her changepad and rested against a tree trunk, Bella stood watch. When another dog came sniffing around, Bella wasted no time in establishing her perimeter and chasing the dog off. Usually she is so friendly, but not when she is being Big Sister!

We had a recent bout with diaper rash. My sister asked us if we had tried using the blow dryer to dry her off properly before putting on the diaper ointment. What a difference! Not only was she totally calmed by the noise, but the rash was gone in days! Now we have created a bit of a monster though, she is much like Marilyn Monroe over a sewer grate during change time. Oh well, whatever works.

I wonder what month two will bring?

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Diaper Champ

Wow, it really takes me a long time to get on the computer these days...

Carmen is growing up so quickly, it is hard to believe that she'll be a month old next week! She's grown out of a set of onesies now - she gained 2lbs 1oz in 3 weeks!!! She went for her first visit to the midwife yesterday and Leanne was shocked at how much our little girl had gained!


Got Milk? Posted by Picasa

Aside from a bit of perfume sensitivity, the little peanut is doing very well. She definitely keeps us on our toes, but at least we are no longer guessing what is wrong when she cries - for the most part anyways. The perfume thing took a few instances to sort out.


Alert Sprout! Posted by Picasa

Our lives are starting to shuffle into place too. I started teaching Mom & Baby Fitness this past Tuesday and felt very strong and full of energy. When Jason starts school in July, the woman across the street has agreed to take care of Carmen for an hour here and there when I go to teach my classes. Hopefully that will turn out well. She is quite excited to have a baby to look after! I've also got my first article ready for publication in fall for Urban Baby & Toddler magazine! So excited! My friend Casey copy-edited it for me, and the magazine editor thanked me for such a well-written and edited manuscript! I felt so official! I'm also getting ready to present a prenatal discussion at Pomegranate Community Midwives on May 28th, so that is pretty exciting as well!

Jason has been volunteering at Shaunessy, helping kids with special needs and teaching wee little Gr. 2's the shotput! He is really enjoying his time with Carmen and I. We go for walks almost everyday to the Endowment Lands, the Seawall, the Van Dusen Botanical Gardens... it feels so indulgent!

For my first Mother's Day, my sister's family and my Mom & Dad are coming into Vancouver to stay for the weekend. My niece Ashley will get to meet her new little cousin, and us moms will have a chance to celebrate a little. Should be fun!


Our little dragonfly Posted by Picasa