Lil Tri Girl

Booty-licious

2008-02-09T08:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally splurged on some Paige designer maternity jeans... I did buy them on consignment, in my own defense! So instead of $285, I spent $100 - that means I will have to re-consign them after since I can't really justify the cost...

Well, other than the HOT BOOTY ACTION they provide!

These jeans make me feel like a million bucks! And I didn't have to hem them!

Oh JOY!

In other news, antibiotics have started to clear up my 2+ week battle with sinus infection... that and the NETI-pot, truly disgusting, but definitely effective. Life is almost normal!

Ohhhn-jah

2008-01-30T19:39:00.000-08:00

My husband is an angel - or an 'ohhn-jah' as Carmen would say, when describing her Christmas jammies or the snow-angels that Peter makes in 'The Snowy Day'. He is on a date with Carmen at Grandpa's house, to give me the house to myself... to mope, sulk, wheeze in peace.

I am ill. Dreadfully, pathetically ill. Can't breathe through my nose, can't wear glasses because they are too heavy on my face. I've peed myself about 10 times today (yes, I'll admit it) because my pelvic floor can't withstand the force of my phlegmy coughing. My ears feel like someone is driving bamboo skewers into them. I've had one or two good cries today. A little self-indulgent, but I was feeling really sorry for myself because I can't take any drugs due to this (not-so-little) guy...

I've cancelled my classes today and tomorrow, which is a lot of work in itself. Taking care of Carmen is nearly impossible. Today I placated her with Playdough and hot chocolate. I feel so bad for her and Bella, trapped inside all day while the pristine white of fresh snow decorated the front yard.

And now it is raining all that fun away. Maybe it is just a dream, like Peter in 'The Snowy Day'. Maybe we will wake up to a winter wonderland again...

Week 15

2007-12-01T21:51:00.000-08:00

This pregnancy is whizzing past.

I bought a set of newborn cloth dipes to complement my existing set so I can use them right from the start. With Carmen, they didn't fit until 8 weeks and by then I was absolutely disgusted with disposables. These dipes are teeny tiny ones and just handling them brought me back to when Carmen was still a tiny handful under 6lbs. So small.

I can't believe we're doing this again. And it's all passing by so quickly! I haven't even taken a single belly shot yet - not ONE. Instead of excitedly going shopping for maternity clothes for my already popped-out belly, I just grab something oversize and frumpy since my sister reclaimed the mat clothes I used last time. Instead of poring over labels to make sure I am getting the right amount of calories and iron, I eat frozen perogies when I get a chance while running after my crazy active toddler.

So this weekend I decided to make a change. Went for a massage with my amazing RMT, got my hair cut and highlighted, and tomorrow I meet with my Mama Renew group for the second time to talk about self-care. Watching what I eat. Remembering to take my vitamins. Heck, maybe I'll even pull out the camera for a belly shot or two.

I remember in my first pregnancy thinking it was so hard, and that it was those 40 weeks that would be the hardest. Then Carmen arrived and I learned quickly that pregnancy is child's play compared to some of the hurdles of being a new mom! So now I am FREAKING OUT that while this pregnancy has been somewhat tiresome with running after Carmen, that being a mom of two is going to be impossibly exhausting!!!! Arg.

I have to remind myself to slow down and enjoy this. I have to give myself pep talks that it's going to be all right once this babe enters the world to join her big sis. I have to be careful not to over-extend. Supermom can wait.

The second trimester has brought wonderful things. Sleep! Appetite! ENERGY! Teaching 6 classes a week between prenatal and postnatal fitness has been draining during my first trimester, but I am looking forward to a month off and a reduced schedule in January. I finally found a few people I feel comfortable contracting some classes to, and new facilities that I don't have to lug equipment around.

And for my birthday from my sis-in-law, I just got three months of someone coming in to clean my house!! MY HOUSE! Starting Monday! I am on cloud nine!

Now maybe I'll have time to buy a few shirts that cover my belly.

The Master List

2007-11-04T13:11:00.000-08:00

I figure I should capture this somewhere!!

Words Carmen can say:

1. Walrus
2. Purple, Blue, Green, Red, Orange, Yellow
3. Blueberries
4. Cheese
5. Please
6. Trees
7. One Two Three
8. Baby Beluga
9. Happy
10. Hippo
11. Dino(saur)
12. Cracker
13. Cookie
14. Pancakes (CANCakes!)
15. Mommy, Daddy, Bella, Baby, Callie
16. Strawberries (sounds an awful lot like blueberries...)
17. Apple
18. Bubbles
19. Puppy
20. Doggy
21. (Ba)nanas
22. Chocolate
23. Toast
24. Pee pee/poo poo
25. More!
26. Shoes
27. Eyes, Nose, Boobies, Chin, Elbow, Armpit, Arm, Toes, BUM BUM
28. Puffin
29. Muffin
30. Coffee
31. Call Me!
32. Damnit!
32. Enough!
33. NO
34. Kitty
35. Almost
36. Firetruck
37. Throw Ball
38. Cold
39. Water
40. Juice
41. Hummous
42. Owee, Bonk

Body Parts She Knows:

1. Eyes
2. Nose
3. Mouth
4. Cheek
5. Chin
6. Ears
7. Hair
8. Head
9. Arm/Armpit
10. Leg/Knee
11. Hands/Fingers
12. Feet/Toes
13. Boobies, Pee Pee (you know, all the scientific terms...)
14. Belly/bellybutton
15. Elbow

Sounds Carmen can make:

1. Cow Mooing
2. Chicken Clucking
3. Duck Quacking
4. Elephant Trumpeting
5. Sheep Baaing
6. Pig Snorting (sorta)
7. Bear/Lion/Tiger/Dinosaur/etc Roaring
8. Cat Meowing
9. Monkey Oo-oo-oo'ing
10. Dog Barking (obviously)
11. Crow Cawing
12. Wolf Howling
13. Owl Hooting
14. Fish blowing bubbles

Signs Carmen Still Uses:
1. Milk
2. Water (sticks her tongue in and out!)
3. More
4. Please

Obviously I'm forgetting a bunch. I'll have to keep editing this list...

Month Eighteen - Independence

2007-10-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a whole year and a half. I see pictures of myself pregnant, pictures of Carmen as a newborn and it seems lightyears away. All of a sudden my teeny tiny baby is walking around, chatting, feeding herself, going up and down the stairs, singing... what is next, college?

Seriously. She is growing into a little girl right before my eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop it. At the same time, I am 'hurrah-ing' her newfound independence - she puts on her toque and brings me my shoes when she wants to go outside for a walk. She pitches a fit if we go past the playground without stopping. Every meal is a battle of wills - who will crack first? She is getting pretty good at pressing my buttons too. I can't decide which is more frustrating, the fact that she knows HOW to push my buttons, or the way I react? Time to do a little growing up myself!

Carmen is teaching her baby to potty train. She says "Baby, Pee Pee!" and we go into the bathroom, take the pants off the dolly and sit her down. I ask Carmen to get some paper for the baby (Mommy says only one piece, please!!!) and when she turns around, I grab a waterbottle sneakily and put a generous squirt of water into the potty! Then she turns around, excitedly wipes the baby and then grabs her savagely by the arm, throws her to the ground and exclaims "PEE PEE!!!" Then we flush the 'pee pee' (Bye-bye Pee Pee!), wash the baby's hands and put her pants back on. There are always plenty of kisses for the good baby!

We also feed the baby, put the baby to bed and walk the baby around in the stroller. I was pretty unprepared for her attachment to this poor little doll, who gets dragged all over the place, covered in food and dog hair, and manhandled repeatedly. I keep trucks and blocks and all sorts of other toys around, but she LOVES that baby.

And colours. She will lie on the ground with a pad of paper in front of her and her Crayola washable markers forever! She has figured out how to turn on the stereo and will start a CD and dance around. Jason and I never really went crazy with the child-proofing and so Carmen is really good at reprogramming our phone, getting dogfood for Bella and feeding it to her, kernel by kernal, as well as spreading the contents of my makeup kit all over the upstairs. I will often find her with my cell phone, bleeping away on the keypad and then talking to her peeps. It's pretty hard not to laugh!

I can't believe we are doing this all over again. I am pregnant again - 10 weeks and counting! I revisit my old blog posts from my first pregnancy and realize how much more quickly this one seems to be going by. I don't know if my baby is a chickpea or a grape this week! I don't know if he/she has eyelids. I just don't have TIME! And the reality of caring for a toddler, teaching my classes and getting through the first trimester nausea and fatigue is staggering. But we are SO HAPPY to have another, so happy that we will have a real baby for Carmen to help take care of, and so happy that we are able to give her a chance to be an older sibling, the same way we both were in our families. So yeah, life is good!

Month Fifteen - It's been ONE WEEK

2007-07-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

It's been one week since Carmen nursed for the last time...

I never thought I'd be one of "those moms" - I remember when I was pregnant that I was really looking forward to breastfeeding for the requisite 12 months and thinking that people that breastfed for longer than that were kinda weird. I remember watching moms whose babies would reach into their shirts, thinking that babies that could ask for it, or would go after it themselves, were too old to continue breastfeeding. Even as a nudie myself, I remember thinking that breastfeeding in public without a a blanket over your breast was a bit exhibitionist. I remember knowing everything and being the perfect mother - before I became one.

I remember thinking about my breasts as they grew during my pregnancy. I was shocked at the way my nipples became bullseyes on my chest! I worried about stretch marks. I freaked out when my nipples leaked colostrum. I wondered if my breasts would ever look the same again.

But then I had Carmen. The first thing she did was squirm and struggle towards my breast and she latched on so hungrily, I was amazed that something so small could suck so hard! At the same time, a delicious sensation washed over me - I never thought breastfeeding would be *delicious*. The first time I felt my milk let down, I grabbed my breasts in pain and hugged them to my chest. And then the milk flowed in generous streams and I was amazed that my body was capable of such a feat. When Carmen cried, my letdown occurred almost instantly - the physical connection that I thought ended with my pregnancy continued as Carmen flourished outside my womb. I never read about this in books.

I never thought the Mama Bear inside me would emerge with such a vengeance. While my husband said "Sure, you can hold her", I thought frantically "LET GO OF MY BABY!!!" I began having intrusive thoughts about practically everything - imagining how I could throw my body in front of hers or turn the car just so to avoid her being hit. I made everything that went into her mouth from scratch - organic, pure, healthy... she ate better than Jason and I. I would do anything in my power to make sure she had the best.

As she's gotten older, I have relaxed my stranglehold on motherhood. I am comfortable leaving her in the care of others. I don't fret if the dog french-kisses her or if the sippy cup is coated in dog hair. The five-second rule has become the five-minute rule.

BUT. But I continued to breastfeed her past that 12 month mark. I never worried if she didn't eat every piece of avocado or every chickpea because I knew I was helping to sustain her. I was giving her the calcium from my bones. I was jump-starting her immune system.

I healed her bonks on the head with a few sips from my breast. I comforted her with my milk as she drifted to sleep. I thought nothing of popping my boob out, wherever and whenever Carmen needed it. I revelled in the skin-on-skin contact we shared in the bathtub when she would see both nipples at once and have a hard time choosing between the two! I shared something with her that nobody else could. I was her number one.

And just like one of "those moms", I secretly relished the way she would reach down into my shirt, much like a greeting! I loved when she signed for milk in times of distress. I loved the way she nursed to sleep without a problem. I loved the way I could nurse her in the lineup at the Sun Run, or over coffee with a friend, without skipping a beat.

And now... now it's over. It was a choice we both made. Hers, because she is becoming so independant. Mine, so that I can get pregnant again. My only consolation is that pregnancy might allow me to do it all again. That, and her recent need for kisses and hugs - maybe she is missing and craving the same closeness that I am?

My breasts ache. Carmen accidentally kicks me while we play and I reel in pain. In the shower, I knead them to relieve the pressure and small jets of milk escape. Although painful, I want to feel my letdown so badly, but to no avail. Each day my milk becomes less and less. I never knew that the last time she nursed would be "THE LAST TIME SHE NURSED". Like, somehow I would have captured every nuance in my brain and recorded it for those times when she becomes a teenager and tells me she hates me, or that I embarrass her. Now she signs for milk, but it's for the sippy cup that she drinks from with reckless abandon!

I know this is a stepping stone that I have to go through. I just never thought it would be so hard.

Month Thirteen and Fourteen - Time is Precious!

2007-06-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

Well I hoped to be able to continue my monthly updates, but it just seems like we are always on the go! To the dog park, to the playground, to Stroller Fitness, to sleep!

Most things take longer these days, mostly because my baby is no longer a baby - she is a girl! An individual, an independant soul, a little fairy spreading her pixie dust and laughter all over the house like confetti. I can no longer feed her bits of banana, this girl wants to do everything by herself! That includes diaper changes, baths, getting dressed, snapping the buckle on the carseat and nursing!

Oh yes, the nursing. Ah, I remember the foolish post a while back about weaning. WEANING! HAHAHA! Not if Carmen can help it! Carmen's nursing has taken on a whole new, and acrobatic, dimension. She headstands, faceplants, downward-dogs and battering rams into my poor breasts. She flits from one side to the other capriciously, pulls away and smacks her lips, nuzzles some more, twiddles my nipples, crawls around and then comes back again. I am her jungle gym, her activity mat with refreshments. It is hilarious and aggravating at the same time! Nighttimes are the best time - the only time I can hold her in my arms for more than two seconds to nurse properly. But then the dog barks. Or Jason comes upstairs. Or the phone rings. Any small diversion and she is arching her back, trying to escape my lap to see what the hubbub is about! But if I decide enough is enough, she is either screaming in her crib, or back a few minutes later to nibble on my shoulder - the international sign for "I'm HUNGRY"...

Signing. I took a signing course. I sign to her all the time. I swear that at one point she was signing back "milk" but I must have been dreaming! Carmen has invented her own form of sign language. Biting my shoulder for milk. Arching her back and screaming for "I don't want ". Stink fumes wafting from her butt for "I just filled my dipes". Smacking the edge of the bed to call the dog.

But she does clap and wave. So maybe all hope is not lost. I'll keep trying.

I've been feeling the need to "let go" a bit. While I still make homemade organic meals for Carmen, it's okay if someone feeds her a Kraft Cheese Slice. It's okay if she is covered in dog hair for a good portion of the day. It's okay if I drink a beer while she's nursing (!), or if I let her taste a bit of chocolate. It's okay if she throws her food off the highchair table down to the dog...

Well, so long as the bowl isn't included next time...

I've been going out and doing a lot more fun things - most recently, three of my former clients with older babes showed up at my doorstep and (thank god) kidnapped Carmen and I to take over the Foundation for beer and natchos! The girls happily cruised around the (probably filthy) retro furniture while we ladies shared a pitcher and dove into a giant plate of natchos! Fun for all the girls! Jason and I have been active more, on walks and runs and to the doggy beach.

Maybe subconciously it's because Jason and I have officially pulled the goalie and are thinking about baby #2. Carmen enjoys other kids so much that I can't imagine her not having siblings. It's a scary prospect though when I think about how much our lives changed with just one! It seems that people are divided in their reactions - either we're crazy, or not crazy. Hmph. In any case, I feel like I need to live it up a bit, before I get pregnant again and give up my body to another lil'un for a few years.

Letter to Carmen - Baby Today, Toddler Tomorrow

2007-04-26T16:20:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a whole year. Sometimes the days were long, sometimes the months were short - all I know is that suddenly you are an independant little girl with an attitude and personality and charm and a wicked sense of humour!

Now you want to hold the spoon at breakfast. You crawl up to my feet and pull yourself up using my pantlegs to get my attention. You carry my keys around the house and try to open every drawer and cupboard by jingling them around the handle. The cuteness is astounding.

You clap your hands in the right parts of "If You're Happy and You Know It". You wave goodbye to your daddy when he heads off to school in the morning, or to me when you are leaving the room. In fact, if Daddy tries to leave without waving goodbye, you get downright angry! Every morning, you scramble to the edge of the bed and yell "Dahhgay" while whacking the mattreess to get Bella to come over. You are a creature of habit, just like me.

You and Bella have a love-hate relationship - you looooove Bella, but we can't be sure that the feeling is mutual. When we are out walking together, you reach for the leash from the stroller to hold on to her. When we are out giving her a ball huck, you want to hold the green chucker between throws. If I kick the ball to Bella, it sends you into peals of laughter and fits of giggles that are SO contagious! When we are home, you gravitate towards the tags on Bella's collar and yank on them, while Bella stares up at me, big brown eyes pleading, "Make her go away, puleeeeez?" Her food dish is a favourite spot for you, as is Bella's doggy bed, full of slimey dirty doggy toys that you insist on stealing and chewing on. I just hope it is serving your immune system well!

For your birthday, we decided to have a small party. Mostly I just wanted to make you a fabulous cake like all the other moms I know. Maybe an Elmo cake, or a Daisy flower or something ridiculous and fancy. I slaved over a Lemon Poppyseed Cake the night before, zesting organic lemons, limes and oranges. I beat eggs, sifted flour, fluffed butter, you name it. The morning of your party I found that it had turned into a Lemon Poopyseed Brick unfit for human consumption. Devastated, I trudged off to the grocery and bought an organic BOX o' cake. This cake called for milk, oil and eggs. This cake turned out superbly. This cake amazed the guests - even when coated in day-glo yellow frosting and bathtub rubber duckies. But you? Not you. As I set the blazing cake down in front of you, we blew out the candles and cheered. You smiled and pictures were snapped. I set a piece before you and... you barfed. Not a single morsel of cake entered your mouth! Apparently you have inherited your father's disinterest in sweets!

You are absolutely infatuated with other kids and love to be around others. Not that you aren't a bit of a bully - usually you stick your fingers into eyes and mouths or pull hair or bite - all in the name of love, I'm sure! One of the gifts you got on your birthday was a little stroller with a baby in it and it is definitely your favourite new toy. That poor baby has been dragged from one side of the house to the other, and I can hear you crawling around with the baby, your other little hand slapping the floor "THUNK slap THUNK slap THUNK!" Quiet, you are not.

Crawling up the stairs is now a piece of cake, and cruising around with the edge of the coffeetable turns into quite the bout of mischief if I have forgotten to pick up the opened mail, a glass of water or the diaper bag. You love banana pancakes and hummous with pita, Cheddar Bunnies and the lentil mush that your babysitter, Daniela, sends home with you every once in a while. I'm hoping that you are turning into a foodie like your Daddy and Mommy.

You are quite the acrobat and have hurled yourself headfirst off the diaper change table while my attention was on the "business end"... a few minutes and massive amounts of vomit later, your Daddy and I rushed you to the ER. Your daddy drove with a furious calm while I bawled and tried to keep you awake in the back of the car. Once we got there, you were fine. I think we lost years off our lives. I'm sure it won't be the last time!

You love books. You love dogs. You love books about dogs and will sit with your Baby Einstein "Dogs" book forever, turning the pages and saying "Gog gog gog". You love when I stick my tongue out and pant with the "Dogs pant when they are warm" page. You love when I count to four on the "There are many different kinds of dogs" page.

One of the cutest things about you is the way you will sit for half an hour in front of the buckle on your diaper bag, carseat, highchair or backpack carrier and try to put it together. You are obsessed with figuring things out and anything that keeps you IN you want OUT of. I hope you will be a problem-solver, a figurer-outer. I hope you will like math.

But whatever it is you blossom into, I know I will love you forever.

Month Eleven - The Transition

2007-03-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

WARNING - NUDE BABY AHEAD!!!

The last month has been a doozie. It seems like my little baby is quickly turning into a little girl and I don't know how to stop it! Life as we know it will never be the same.

Most importantly - Carmen says MAMA! I know there might come a day when her calling Mamamamamama at the top of her lungs might get nervewracking, but right now I can't get enough of it! Clapping is a lot of fun too!

We've been waiting for quite a while for Carmen to gain some purchase on the ground with her little legs and now she's finally done it. Carmen is crawling - EVERYWHERE. And it's like she's just discovered that the rooms in our house are connected together and she can travel from one to the other! She follows me from the nursery to the bedroom to the bathroom, collecting dust and dog hair along the way. Part of me wants to attach little clothes to her knees so she can be my little Swiffer and help out with the housework! She doesn't sit still for a minute and I have to watch her like a hawk. Thankfully she hasn't discovered Bella's food dish yet, but I know that is coming!

Along with this comes the reality of our sleep situation. I usually nurse Carmen before naps and bedtime in our big bed, then I leave her to fall asleep there. At nighttime Jason transfers her to her crib, but for naps I used to leave her there. Suddenly the afghan that used to keep her little body pinned no longer works and she is crawling around on the bed the minute I leave! So I just spent the last hour and a half trying to get Carmen to sleep in her crib for her afternoon nap. She kept getting up and crawling around, playing with the bars, singing and chatting away! She finally went to sleep - right at the time I would regularly get her up! ARG!

Two more bottom teeth have appeared, but they certainly don't rival the size of Carmen's giant front tooth - we call her Fangora! Seriously, we could use her mouth as a beer-bottle opener - BUT WE DON'T!!! Yet.

As for dinner table accomplishments, Carmen is able to grab a cup herself and drink out of it successfully 95% of the time! The other 5% of the time, she drinks out of the far side of the cup and pours the contents down her front. The learning curve is steep, I tell ya!

Over the past little while, I've been thinking about when is the right time to wean Carmen from breastfeeding during the day. So far, she's weaned herself down to 4 times a day - in the morning, before each nap and before bedtime. I think the morning and nighttime is fine, but continuing to breastfeed during the day is somewhat limiting. She was fine for my trip to Whistler, drinking pumped milk from a sippy cup or not at all for a few days... Aside from the obvious freedom, I wore a REAL BRA the other night for Date Night and thought about how good my girls looked! Maybe that sounds vain, but after having my body dedicated to a small being for nearly two years, it would feel great to feel more like a sexual being than a Free Range Organic Heifer!

West Coast Mamas on the Weather Network

2007-02-28T14:20:00.000-08:00

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*one of my moms was kind enough to save the segment while she had the news streaming on her computer...

Today for my outdoor Stroller Fitness class at Trout Lake, the Weather Network came to tape our workout and interview me - yay!!! A light dusting of snow, some sunshine and 24 of my favourite moms were out in full force to show Canada how great it is to be a new mommy in Vancouver!

I even wore mascara! You know, so my eyes would pop on TV!

If anyone wants to check us out, the segment on West Coast mamas getting active during the winter starts airing this Friday, and continues to air for 2 weeks! Yay!

And since I got such great free advertising, I thought it was prudent to invest in a nice Lululemon uniform for the event! Check out my pants!!! Sassy!

*editor's note: Unfortunately you cannot see my pants in the interview, nor did my eyes pop with my mascara... sigh. But trust me, the pants - they. ARE. HOT.

Month Ten - Big Bad Carmen

2007-02-25T11:26:00.000-08:00

It's Carmen's tenth month and she is changing so quickly.

She got a tooth, which arrived with much fanfare the morning before her tenth monthiversary with us. And this tooth is not just any old tooth - this big pearly white shines like a beacon when she smiles and cuts like a saw when she eats! Every meal at the highchair is followed by a palate-clensing glass of water and playtime with the toothbrush. We have to watch her fairly carefully so that she doesn't gag herself, but she LOVES chewing on the soft bristles of the brush and waving the yellow plastic wand about her like she is casting spells! She also likes to brush OUR teeth with it, and when I brush my teeth with my electric brush, she insists that I come over to polish her new accessory as well, sans paste.

More and more often, when I turn my back while Carmen is sitting upright, I will turn back to find her still sitting but a foot or two from where she was before. She's getting around SOMEHOW, but I don't know how! Scooching on her heels and bum? Who knows? Eventually I will catch her in the act!

Carmen's interest in the world around her is growing - she is like a little sponge. She cheerfully chants "Duck Duck Duck" while attempting to gnaw a hole through her little rubber ducky's head. She constantly launches herself sideways in my arms or in the highchair so that she can see below whether or not Bella is around. She gets excited when she hears the telltale jingle-jangle of Bella's collar and the tick-tack of her claws on the hardwood each morning when Bella drags herself off the couch and into the bedroom to say hello. Carmen stares, transfixed by the wagging of her tail, and laughs if I get Bella to bark.

I've started a Friday knitting circle with many of the women from my different classes since we have babes of similar age. They play together (or konk each other on the head with toys) while we eat, knit and chat. It's amazing to see the way Carmen interacts with other kids! She loves being around other babies, and has started to get a bit aggressive in her toy-stealing! I guess being the non-mobile one for so long is making her compensate by being a bully? Not sure...

Before, I used to be able to vaccuum, use the electric mixer and the milk steamer on the coffee machine while Carmen was in the room. Not so much anymore! She freaks out at loud, unexpected noises and needs to be reassured that there isn't any danger. She is also developing quite the sense of humour. The other morning I was laying in bed beside her trying to fake sleep to get her to nap. She was doing everything in her power to make me laugh - sticking her fingers in my nose and mouth, plucking my bra strap, gurgling and cooing while conducting an imaginary orchestra with her arms! I was shaking, trying not to laugh, but I didn't fool her! Carmen 1, Mommy 0.

Gigglefest

2007-02-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

I bet you can't watch this without smiling!!!

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Month Nine - Doin' Just Fine

2007-01-29T16:13:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, Nunuboo - what would we do without you?

To sum it up in one word, life has been busy. With Jason back at school and my classes back in session, our lives seem like a bit of a whirlwind and the month-long vacation feels like it was over months ago!

Carmen is still getting around the room backwards and has yet to make any forward progression... I would worry more, but I'm kind of enjoying this last bit of freedom before she becomes really mobile and tries to stick chopsticks into the electrical outlets that we have yet to childproof!

Besides, who needs to crawl when she gets the royal treatment while travelling? Carmen has gone cross-country skiing, enjoys regular jaunts with Bella and I in the stroller, and is quickly outgrowing her first carseat - she is 18lbs! Most of the babes in Carmen's playgroup are much larger, but I can still (barely) remember when she was under 6lbs!

Going to the grocery store is one of Carmen's favourite destinations. She finally fits in the grocery cart, sitting up all by herself and ready to pull anything off the shelf that her little paws can get hold of. I'm sure that one day I will find packages of teething biscuits inside her jacket, stolen from the Famous Foods when I wasn't looking!

Speaking of teething - it's all the rage again these days. Drooling, crying, refusing to eat... and yet, NO TEETH!!! Seriously. Many days, the only thing she will allow in her mouth is the nice cold yogurt I offer up when all other nutrient sources are refused. Carmen cops a bit of attitude in the high chair, banging her feet against the foot rest and her head against the back of the chair, holding her breath until her eyes bulge out and her face turns red. Clenching her gums together, if I manage to get any food in between her lips, she will forcefully spit it out in my face... THIS IS ORGANIC BUTTERNUT SQUASH, kiddo! Homemade with love and the sweat of my brow! THE NERVE!

But the sleeping - that's the payoff. Our kid can SLEEP, better than most I've heard of. I can always count on Carmen's punctuality with her morning and afternoon naps. And the nighttime! We sleep! Hours and hours! LOVE IT!

As a couple, Jason and I have become addicted to boardgames like Carcassone and Settlers of Catan or Texas Hold'em in order to preserve some semblance of a social life, since our little girl hits the hay at around 7:30pm! We've gone out for many dinners on our own, while our sleeping babe is looked after by family or friends. It's sad that I don't manage to connect with many of the people I used to see on a regular basis. Times change, I guess? It's not for lack of trying, but it's hard to do "nights" now, or pubs, or anything else that is not baby-friendly.

While I'm working, Carmen is now getting taken care of by another SAHM with a son the same age as Carmen - her Italian boyfriend Nico! Carmen loves to hang out with Daniela and Nico and it makes my teaching SO MUCH EASIER and less stressful! Now I don't need to worry about Carmen pulling the hair of 6-week-old babies in my class, and I know she's having fun with someone her own age, not to mention getting meals and naps on a proper schedule. Thankfully my classes are full, so I am making enough to make childcare feasible!

Validation

2007-01-18T19:28:00.000-08:00

I was part of the high-tech industry for over 10 years and I worked my butt off.

Nearing the end of my pregnancy, it was really hard to drag myself into work each day - I hated my job. Well, not all of it. I liked the people I worked with and I enjoyed using my brain when interesting problems arose. But for the most part, the work I was doing became more and more tedious... add to it the instability my company and the fact that I dreaded beginning the start-up/buy-out/layoff continuum all over again... well let's just say my job satisfaction had hit an all-time low.

But now!

Now, instead of monitoring fires hazards in supercomputers, or helping people download porn faster - I have a REAL JOB!!!

I get to help these bellies...

Turn into these babies...

This past Monday, I had my very first class of Prenatal Fitness clients over to my house for a reunion with their brand new babies! And now my prenatal clients are my POSTnatal clients! I have former moms-to-be in my Stroller Fitness and Mom & Baby Fitness classes!

How cool is that???

From these moms, I got many gifts and thank-you cards, but my most favourite was the email I got from the wife of a former co-worker, who came to me as a client:

I really wanted to say thanks... for the beautiful handmade gifts, the great classes, all the advice and helping me to have more confidence to squat and lunge this baby out! I was really quite nervous at the beginning of this pregnancy about being fit and having the endurance to get through labour. My fear was that I would not make it, have to have lots of medical interventions and go down a birth path that I don't want. After lots of thinking, reading and learning, I now realize that I may in fact go down a path that I don't want/hadn't planned but I'm okay with that because I feel like I've made the effort to work towards the kind of birth that I want for me, my husband and our baby. (okay - I'm welling up now!!).

When I walked into your class, I was a tad nervous of what was ahead. You were wearing your one of your Tri shirts and I had heard lots of rumours of "super fit Callie" from my hubby... Through all your classes though, you kept the class at a level that everyone could accomodate to and there was never any judgement for the level of energy you had or how far you pushed on any one day. I walked away from class each night feeling great. It was also my first "mommy" contact. Soooo great to be around other pregnant moms to gab about stuff that I am sure is not on the priority list of other non pregnant people. So I am glad that we ran into each other again. Even though I didn't really know you before, I do remember you as one of the "cool kids" at the Alcatel Xmas parties...

Anyhew, I was just on the website and there is no section for "what are people saying about Fit 4 Two?"... so I don't know where you want to keep this, but please feel free to use this email however you wish...

Here is the more official testimonial...

Going to Fit 4 Two classes during my pregnancy was a blessing. Both Callie's prenatal classes (Balls and Bands and Prenatal Fitness) gave me a safe and supported way to work out and meet other Moms. Callie creates an environment of non judgement and fun in her classes and genuinely cares about the participants. Even though there are (many) days where my energy levels were low during this pregnancy, I always felt re-energized at the end of class and great about what I had accomplished for me and the baby. I attended classes from early in my second trimester until my 39th week. Callie provided ways to modify exercises as I grew and changed so that I could participate as fully as possible and get a great workout at whatever stage I was in. I would recommend Callie's classes to anyone looking for an informative, fun and inspiring place to exercise during pregnancy!

Looking forward to sending out that birth announcement!!!

Talk about validation. These moms & babes are the better than any performance review I've ever had!

Cross-Country Carmen

2007-01-14T23:02:00.000-08:00

Our little girl's got 'tude!

We just back from Whistler, where we stayed with Grandma & Grandpa Wolff... Carmen was dying to hit the slopes! We made it out for a day of cross-country skiing and had a blast! Daddy made a great sled-dog for Carmen's little cross-country chariot...

Carmen and I, after a trip to the warming hut for some boob!

Grandma & Grandpa Wolff ready to go!

Jason, oh-so-good at taking pix of the two of us!

Carmen helping me and Grandma knit!

Resol-WHO-shuns?

2007-01-08T17:26:00.000-08:00

Ah yes, it's that time of year again... I believe my last year's resolutions were something about not fretting so much about finances and to do the Squamish Tri.

Sigh.

0 for 2.

After eight months of stroller-fitting my way back to my pre-pregnancy weight, the idea of doing triathlon training on top of my 5-class per week schedule is less than appealling! Not to mention that my weight has NOTHING to do with my shape - although my muscle-tone is great, I am just beginning to start running again and I haven't swam since I was PREGNANT... don't even get me started about the bike. Mine has flat tires and hasn't seen the light of day for over a year. Poor pretty blue Trek.

I really need to change the title of this blog to "lil-tri-mommy, waiting until after second baby to return to training".

I could open a rant about the finances thing, but I won't. Money will always stress me out.

So this year I resolve to watch what goes into my body... not that I'm so bad - we eat home-cooked meals almost daily. My only real vices are Kraft Dinner, natchos and Caramel Macchiatos! BUT we do eat a lot of meat, dairy, and non-organic produce. Since I've been making Carmen's food, I've been so careful to make sure everything she eats is organic, pure and natural and homemade... I should really do the same for myself, no? After all, I'm still breastfeeding her, so some of the nasties could make it into her body, right?

So far Jason is off to a great start helping me by stocking the fridge with organic milk from the local dairy, organic swiss chard and spinach, non-medicated chicken breasts, you name it! I try, but every time I go to the grocery store (Famous Foods!!!), I cringe at the higher prices demanded for the better-for-you foods - that damned money thing again.

Anyhow, I resolve to get past that. And to try and do some extra Yoga, Pilates, or stretching everyday, so my back no longer makes me feel 90 years old.

Oh yeah, and I did go and watch the Squamish Tri last year - they changed the course into a much suckier version. I'm doubtful that you'll see my name on the 2007 registration!

Month Eight - First Christmas!

2007-01-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm a little late! What can I say? Carmen's first Christmas has been a busy one!

It's been a great month. With Jason and I both on break from school and work, we have lots of time to go for walks with Carmen and the dog, entertain at the house and enjoy each other's company. For Carmen's first Christmas, we decided to hit the Island before the big day to visit my parents, grandparents and brother & sis-in-law. Surprisingly I was able to take a break from my email for 5 days to relax and just hang out! I even went curling with my mom and managed to win a bottle of wine for being one of the best "seconds"... who knew?

On Christmas day, we opened gifts - mostly Carmen's - and then went on a walk through the Endowment Lands. I think this is something that will become a tradition for our little family! I cooked a turkey and we had a few people to the house to join in the feast - I served it on my late Grandma's china and it was great!

Since then, we've been having many visitors from out of town over to the house, as well as family. Carmen has gotten to know their kids a little bit, and has even learned to share her toys with them! However, for the first time ever, Carmen started to cry when I pried a little playmate's watch out of her mouth. She's also started to throw toys over the edge of her Exersaucer and then peer down below, silently willing them to come back into her grasp!

Carmen's fully standing in the Exersaucer and on our laps, but hasn't started pulling herself up yet. She gets around on her tummy quite well. Backwards, that is. She still hasn't got the forward movement thing going!

She is a happy happy girl, chuckling and giggling, chatting away in her own little language. She has said "Dada" to Jason, but is not doing it consistently. Right now her favourite word is "Diggy diggy diggy", but we can't figure out if she's trying to say "Doggy" or "Tickle"! Either way, it's pretty cute to listen to!

Lastly, I think all our signing to Carmen has paid off - I swear that she signed "Milk" to me today! I know she recognizes it when I do it, but I saw her little hand grasping at close to her chest and I asked her "MILK?!?" with the sign and she laughed and got really really excited! So cool!

Snowed in...

2006-11-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

Contents: One bored WAHM, one dog desperately wanting to play outside, one little girl with a snotty nose and drooly mouth.

Contents: Peppermint tea and Baileys*

*credit goes to Nunuboo for the introduction of tea and Baileys at this year's cookie swap

Month Seven - Funky Butt

2006-11-24T20:05:00.000-08:00

I knew it was only a matter of time... we've been playing with solids for a little while now and Carmen is finally getting the hang of it! Of course, now that her tastebuds have developed, the rest of her body needs to catch up - in this case, it's her digestive tract that has recently proven that it's ready to handle the grown-up stuff!

PEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEEW!

I went into the nursery yesterday morning and noticed a tang in the air quite unlike anything I'd smelled before in Carmen's vicinity. I immediately opened the diaper pail, expecting to find a mountain of unwashed diapers. Nope, nearly empty. Maybe something rotting underneath the change table? Nada. The stench drew me towards the crib, towards my daughter, happily playing with her Linkadoos. Bingo.

As I uncovered her funky butt, I recoiled in shock and horror - gross doesn't begin to describe it. You see, not only do I have to change it, but then I have to go and rinse it out as well since I wash my own cloth diapers. I've picked up a fair amount of dog pooh in my day, but this just seemed infinately more disgusting.

So I decided that this was not the life for me! Now, for Carmen's morning constitutional, we both get naked from the waist down and I sit her on top of my lap on the toilet. And whaddya know - she actually poops in the toilet!!!!

Yep, my daughter's a genius.

There is a girl named Carmen She is a poop machine She poops into the toilet And keeps her diapers clean OOOOOH, she keeps her diapers clean She keeps her diapers clean Carmen Jade sits on the can and keeps her diapers clean!

In other news, Carmen is sitting up pretty much on her own - a skill she picked up from all the older kids in her sign language class. She is eating apples, bananas, pears, avocados, yams, rice cereal and even butternut squash! She still hasn't cut any teeth, though. She's bald n' toothless just like an old man.

Cousin Ashley also visited with Auntie Karen for a week a while ago. Carmen and Ashley were the best of friends, sharing some tub time together, spending a lot of quality time with Grandma Wolff, and holding hands in the back seat of Grandma's pickup while sitting beside each other in their carseats. It's really cool to see them with each other - makes me remember how much fun I had running around in my Grandma Wolff's house with my cousins!

Everyday there are new sounds coming from Carmen's mouth, she also seems to understand more of what we are saying. New toys to play with, new corners of the floor to explore - she is always on the move. Things change so fast.

Halloween FUN!

2006-10-29T14:14:00.000-08:00

Carmen is the CUTE LOOT PATOOT for Jason and I, the bank robbers!

Not bad for a 1/2hr costume, eh?

Month Six - Bye Bye Bouncy Chair

2006-10-20T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally had to say good-bye to putting Carmen into the bouncy chair during dinner... I turned my back for a second and caught her trying to launch herself out of it by pulling on the poor unsuspecting musical caterpillar!

Enter the highchair - da da da daaaaaaaah! We loooove the highchair, a very thoughtful gift from my former coworkers! Since I've started Carmen on solids (mmmm, pablum!), the highchair has come in very handy keeping her locked in, her bib on, and her little hands busy. She's gotten really quick with her hands now, blocking the spoon like a little Karate Kid - Heeeeeyah! If I do manage to get some of the dreaded pablum into her mouth, she uses her prowess at making raspberries to spit it back out in my face and all over my glasses! What a comedianne!

The highchair is also great for keeping her in one place while I turn my back - she is quite mobile now, rolling over and over to get places and grab toys. I'm not exactly sure how she's moving forward but she is, inch by inch. Smart cookie, that one!

She is so mobile now that I don't know how much longer I will be able to take her to class. Too bad, since she smiles and giggles for the most part and loves all the exercises we do together and the songs I teach the other moms in class. BUT she's also rolling into the little teeny 6-week old babes and trying to poke their eyes, which is not so good! So I've been looking into getting a bit of help here and there.

Nobody ever told me how hard this was going to be. Some days, usually those that I have a few classes to teach, I find myself just trying to get through the day, watching the clock and listening for the telltale scooter revs and Bella's yips and wags of delight signalling Jason's return home from school. I know that I want to stay home with Carmen and not return to my engineering job, but some days I think "OH MY GOD, this is MY LIFE".

I know why many women are eager to return to the workforce since staying at home is such a drastic change from life before baby. I hope that getting help with Carmen during my daytime classes will be a step in a good direction. Even though my "break" during the day will be to spend time with other moms and their babies, I know it will still feel like a break. A chance to take off my "mom" hat for a few hours a day would be welcome!

As Carmen has gotten older, she's developed a bit of a foot fetish... she sticks them in her mouth whenever she can. If there are socks in the way, she quickly pulls them off to reveal her tasty tootsies. Here she is, caught in the act!

And since she is so on-board with the stroller now, when she gets tired, she has taken to turning her head this way and that until her touque comes down over her face. If I try to move it out of the way (lest she suffocate!), she wakes up and gets angry. Sigh.

BTW, I knitted that sweater while I was pregnant and it FINALLY fits her! Our little tiny girl still only weighs just over 14lbs. Sounds like she will be taking after me in that respect!

At the Trade Show...

2006-09-16T21:59:00.000-07:00

So while exhibiting at the Vancouver Baby Fair this weekend, I've gotten many many free samples... but the most interesting so far has definitely been the O'My Cappuccino Flavoured Personal Lubricant! Guess it'll help all us new moms get pregnant again!

Month Five - Month of Cute

2006-09-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

People aren't kidding when they say that months 4-5 are the cutest months going! Carmen is the Cute-inator, cute cute and more cute, all cute all the time!

I can't get over the amazing belly laughs that come out of her mouth now when I pretend to eat her neck, or zerbert her belly! When I get Bella to bark while we're having our playtime on a blanket, she is in a fit of giggles! Even Bella grins from ear to ear as Carmen busts a gut, so cute!

And her fascination with sounds is hilarious. I love the way that she sets out to master a certain sound by repeating it for days on end... then she tires of it and moves on to something else. So far we've gone through the razzing and a funny fast sniffing in and out of her nose! For nearly a week it was constantly

Sniff-hee-hee-hee!
Sniff-hee-hee-hee!
Sniff-hee-hee-hee!

from the carseat, from the crib and now, most recently, from underneath receiving blankets that she "hides" under to play Peek-A-Boo! I crack up everytime, she will sit there for ages with the blanket pulled over her eyes as I ask "Wheeeeeeeeeere's Carrrrrrrrrmen?" and then rip it back quickly... she squeals in delight that she has tricked me!

Now from the floor, I hear Pbthpt! Pbthpt! Pbthpt! as she spits all over everything around her (including my glasses if I'm too close). Crazy girl!

Carmen has also decided that the stroller is the only thing going... maybe that is because Mommy finally wised up and pimped up her ride? I stole the sheepskin from one of our chairs to give her Highness a nice plushy throne, propped the back up so she can sit up higher and faced her out so she can see Bella strolling along jauntily ahead of us! Now we get out on a daily basis and Stroller Fitness is so much easier!

In the last week or so, Carmen has taken to rolling over onto her front - even with the giant cloth Mother-ease diapers that used to keep her high-centered on the floor! So we have to be much more careful now with her laying on the dinner table when we eat (!) and leaving her on the diaper change table. I actually spent over 20 mins trying to get her to roll over on video and finally succeeded! The only problem is that once she's on her front, she can't roll back over. Instead she either poops, pees or spits up in frustration until we roll her back over!

The biggest gift Carmen has given us is a reliable bedtime and morning wakeup. For a while she was waking up quite early, chit chatting happily from the crib until Daddy went in to diaper change and bring her to me. One morning Jason and I just decided to leave her and see what would happen... she went back to sleep!!!! So now it's bathtime at 8:00pm, boob at 8:30pm and sleep shortly after - wake-up at 6:30am and everyone is happy!

Jason had 5 minutes to make a little book for school, enjoy!

First Year

2006-09-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

Well, we did it! Jason and I celebrated our first year of marriage on Aug 20th, 2006!

And what a year it's been... we've weathered a few storms, had some sad times, a lot of laughter and love - we even survived the (still ongoing) renovations in the downstairs!

How did we celebrate? Yet another sojourn to the Island to visit my parents for a restful extended weekend at Macktush, their campsite. Between the built-in babysitting of Carmen's keen grandparents, and the endless squirrels for Bella to chase, Jason and I were able to take some time to relax together, go kayaking, drink wine and chat. He made me a rack of lamb with fresh rosemary, with some nice French wine that we had given to us at our wedding. All of this followed by the top of our wedding cake that we had kept in the freezer all year!

I think we looked prettier cutting this cake a year ago, but oh well!

A Penchant for Non-Relaxing Hobbies

2006-08-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

Hobbies are supposed to be relaxing - mine usually start out that way but eventually result in copious amounts of four-letter words streaming from my mouth! Knitting, quilting, triathlon training... all send me into fits of swearing!

But. They all start out soooo good.

For instance, check out the beeeeyouuuutiful fabric I just bought for my brother and new sis-in-law's wedding present! I'm making them a lap quilt and wanted it to be funky!

Step 1. Pick out a pattern.

Step 2. Visit quilting store and salivate over numerous fabrics.

Step 3. Repick your pattern when you can't make your fabric "work" with the first!

Lap Quilt Pattern

Step 4. Rack up credit card bill - sigh heavily.

Nice Japanese-Inspired Prints

Step 5. Get home, wash/dry/iron fabrics and put on bias.

Step 6. CUT CUT CUT!

Cut Up n' Ready to Go!

Step 7. Get swearing... I mean SEWING!

Blissful, no?

Month Four - Drooooooooooooool

2006-08-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

Take One!

A year ago this past Sunday, Jason and I got married. A year and a week ago, we found out we were pregnant! Not bad after only a month and a half of trying!

Now it's been four whole months since this little girl came out into the world - I can't believe how much has happened since then. She's charmed us in ways I never imagined.

Take Two!

On Friday, our little family packed up our Matrix and headed for the Island to spend the weekend with my family at Macktush - a campground that my parents run out on the Port Alberni inlet. Grandma had the stroller and playpen waiting at the campsite, armed with mosquito netting and sunshades! She was pretty excited to get some Grandma-time... we were pretty excited too, to get a little time alone!

Take Three!

Normally we are avid cloth-diaperers, but weekends away mean no access to diaper pails and such so we had to go the Pampers route. I hate disposable diapers with a passion - and now more so. I was wearing Carmen in the carrier and my red Holey Soles while waiting in the diaper changeroom lineup on the ferry. I started feeling a warm oozing sensation between my toes. Sure enough, Carmen had blasted through yet another Pamper, this time all down her legs and into my shoes. There was mustard-poo everywhere. A few young teens looked at me in horror as I laughed and laughed, while the other moms chortled to themselves, glad it wasn't them! Yep, that's my daughter!

Kisses!

Carmen has had a few tastes of the banana from my morning oatmeal now - she watches everything that goes in my mouth and smacks her lips! It's crazy to think that soon she will be eating real food. She has also started to play with the crazy red Lamaze elephant given to us by a friend - she used to just be terrified of it! Her little hands grab for the rattle parts while she tries to jam the crunchy sounding ears in her mouth.

She has also become quite the drool-asaurus... everything she wears gets soaked so now I make sure she's always got a bib on. I was given a huge stack of these teeny bibs by my grandma and I couldn't figure out what we were going to do with them all. Now I know.

Daddy's Reverse Football - THE BEST

Month Three and a Bit - Daddy's Girl

2006-08-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

Well I know she's my daughter... but she sure doesn't look anything like me! I think it's fair to say that Carmen takes after her Daddy!

Daddy's Girl

Carmen is almost 4 months now - it's hard to believe that so much time has passed already!

Now when we go on walks together, she loves to face outwards and take in as much as she can. As we walk, her eyes dart from Bella chasing around, to the birds pecking at the grass, to the flowers and the trees that I point out to her. We carry on a steady stream of conversation, the two of us, on these walks. Everyday these conversations are punctuated by more and more giggles and sputters and sounds that I realize how quickly she is growing up, and by how much she desperately wants to communicate!

Each morning we wake up to her giggles and "BLARL"s coming from the crib. She waits patiently while Daddy changes her, positively beaming at him with and ear-to-ear smile every time! He brings her in to me for a visit to the milk bar, then goes downstairs to work on homework before school. Carmen and I snuggle up in bed together for a few precious hours of sleep. She is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I remember when I used to nurse her while we were lying down and I would struggle to nuzzle the top of her little head - now it reaches much closer to my chin and her reddish-blonde fuzz tickles my lips!

Time is passing so quickly.

Each morning I put her on the floor for some tummy time (which she still hates) and some time with the "Kick n' Play" gym... man, can she ever kick the crap outta that thing! Jason and I joke that she's going to grow up a slot-machine junkie, just by the way she reacts when the lights and music go off on this toy! She splashes around in the tub now too, infatuated with the spray of the water and the sound it makes. She even loves the sound of the water draining from the tub.

I see little bits of brown in her eyes now and wonder if she will get my eyes or her Daddy's everchanging green-blue-grey eyes. Everything else is pure Camp, from the prehensile toes that she will eventually pick up hammers with, right down to the divot in the centre of her chest. My only hope is that she stays away from rugby - I don't think I could stomach seeing her get bruised, battered or concussed in the name of fun! Maybe I am already too overprotective? I think she will grow up enjoying the element of adventure - I already know she loves the feeling of the wind in her face and what she sees in the world out in front of her.

Jason & Kristi's Wedding - August 5th, 2006

2006-08-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

Just got back from my little brother's wedding - how amazing! Here are some of the nicer shots from our wee little camera! I'm no Nunuboo, but these will do until we see the photographer's shots!

Carmen - almost 4 months!

Cousins!

Carmen's Pre-Wedding Advice for Uncle Jason

Auntie Karen & Ashley

Grandma Wolff!

Louise meets Carmen

Daddy & Carmen enjoying a beer

Great Grandma Wolff hits Carmen's Snooze Button

Smooch!

Kristi & Jason Wolff

Men in Black

Fun with the Photographer

Wolff Women!

Month Two - Father's Day

2006-06-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

Carmen turned 2 months old on Father's Day! Our little family had went over to Victoria to watch sis-in-law Andrea compete in the New Balance Half-Ironman, the race that Jason and I had run last year. What a great trip!

Just hangin' out

Carmen is now smiling, cooing and gurgling, batting at toys hanging in front of her and sleeping in a regular pattern. She even sleeps peacefully through one of my morning Stroller Fitness classes, when before I would have to put her in the Snugli as I pushed the empty stroller! She's just over 10lbs, so by the end of class I'd be pretty wiped.

Most of Carmen's days are predictable:

05:00 - wake up in crib, nursing laying down in Mommy & Daddy's bed
08:00 - wake up with Mommy really really happy!
11:00 - nurse, then nod off during Snugli or stroller walk with Mommy and Bella
13:00 - Fit 4 Two class of some sort
14:00 - nurse
15:00 - visit with other babies over coffee time with other moms!
17:00 - nurse, watch Daddy make dinner (thanks Daddy!)
20:00 - start evening fussy period, including cluster feeding to get ready for my big sleep!
23:00 - tire myself out from extended fussy period, go to sleep in crib!

Ah yes, the joys of the evening fussy period! During Carmen's nights, she alternates between burping, cooing, screaming and nursing. There are a few sure-fire things that we've figured out:

1. carry her over the shoulder like a sack of flour and pat her bum while walking around
2. put her in the sling and insert pinkie into her mouth
3. put her in carseat and swing it back and forth
4. bathe her, followed by blowdrying and massaging with shea butter

At least we aren't going crazy anymore, and her fussy period is way more bearable!

I decided to join a special mom's group called "Mothers Unfolding" with a Dancing Star Births - it is amazing! I still go to the parent-infant dropins at my health unit, but I find them so clinical and boring compared to my MU group! There are nine of us with babies born within days of each other and we dish about feelings, relationships, sex, you name it. I feel very priviledged to be part of something so great!

Carmen's Father's Day gift to Jason was a BIG SMILE! I guess I take her smiles for granted because I get to be around her all day to see them, but Jason was waiting and waiting for her to smile in response to him. I think she was just holding out for the big day!

Sacked out on Daddy's lap after a loooooooong day!

Letter to Carmen

2006-06-09T16:42:00.000-07:00

Ooooh!

Forgive me.

Forgive me for not writing this on scented pink paper with perfect penmanship to present to you on your 13th birthday. But I'm only one person and I just don't have time for good copies, I only have time to backspace and delete my mistakes in between the burpings, the laundry and the endless diaper changes.

Sometimes I feel like you take it all out of me - the milk from my breasts, the tears from my eyes, the breath from my lungs. And then with a single smile or gurgle or coo, you put it all back in. These past weeks have been like a sea with waves of elation and troughs of despair, I have become well-acquainted with feeling like the victor and the failure all at once.

But those good times, boy are they good. And they are getting closer and closer together. Someone told me that after I had you in my arms, that I would forget the pain of labour and the trials of pregnancy. They were mostly right. When you're lying on my chest, I rub my hands back and forth around your diapered bum and remember how I did the same while you were still inside me. My labour with you was much like an athletic event - maybe a three-legged race with you and I both working towards the finish line. I will never forget the exhileration, exhaustion or mental side of the pain, but the sensation is gone.

Today we had a bath together. I love the way you freak out when you hit the water and then immediately relax into its warmth. I hurriedly lather you in delicious smelling baby soap while you toss your head this way and that, blinking and sputtering if you accidentally turn too far! I pull your naked body towards mine while enveloping you in a fluffy yellow duck towel after rinsing the bubbles from your skin. As we make our way back to the change table, you are angry with me for pulling you from your bathtub womb, but all is forgotten once I've turned on the blowdryer - your favourite toy! The warm breeze makes your frantic legs and arms melt down into the table. If you could hang your tongue out the side of your mouth and drool, I'm sure you would!

As you are basking in your tropical diaper change paradise, you make eye contact with me. You smile, a glorious radiant smile! I am caught off-guard as a stream of bright yellow poo escapes you. I recoil in surprise, your right leg hooked in the sleeve of my bathrobe. As my arm lifts so does your bum, sending the next stream rocketing across the table and now down the wall. You are still smiling and, miraculously, so am I!

I carry you over to the tub and back into the bathwater, but you are not done. The bathwater turns an ugly shade... surely you must have inherited this type of behaviour from your father! The only towel I have on hand is a pretty pink hooded towel with your name emblazoned across the back - your "Rocky" towel. As I fervently wish that you don't poo on it as well, I wonder quickly why all baby things are pretty pastel colours and not mustard yellow? Never one to disappoint, you make short work of the towel and it is soon covered with pee instead of poo. You are still smiling, and so am I.

The Poopinator!

I know you are my daughter the way you can take something bad and make it good. I hope to impart so many things to you - not to sweat the small stuff, to respect yourself, to be touchy-feely - a lot of this stems from issues that I wish I didn't have. I want you to love deeply and openly, to take care of the people in your life, and to be nurtured by others in return. I want you to trust your gut and take chances, but not be foolish. I want you to believe that you are capable of anything and to follow your heart. I guess I can only lead by example.

My New Breast Friend - Month One

2006-05-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

I will be the first to admit that I had seriously underestimated the workload that is being a stay-at-home-mom.

The first three weeks were easy as pie. Baby eats, baby sleeps, baby poops and repeat. The schedule was intact, the diapers were stacked and naps were being had alongside the happily-sleeping Carmen Jade.

The next three weeks, notsomuch.

Carmen is now closing in on six weeks and it shows. She's over 8lbs with pudgy thighs and arms - she even fits into the cute little Robeez slippers! She is quickly outgrowing the old-school Snugli we have, the one that Jason wears with pride even though it has a big feminine bow on the back and makes him look like a pregnant man! We even had to move up in diaper size, although we realized our earlier error in moving up too quickly when the poo streamed down her leg and all over my clothes!

She tolerates the stroller, hates the carseat, but loves to go outside and out for visits. She is alert a lot more now and demands attention and playtime, usually when I am trying to eat! I've had many one-handed meals where my pinkie is stuck in her mouth to soothe her until I've finished. I think this is why it's been so easy for me to return to my (mostly) normal weight!

Carmen also likes to join me in my afternoon Pilates session. When I roll out my yoga mat, I put her quilt down on the floor beside me for some tummy time. She sits on my hips for Baby Bridges and ab curls. She even does a mean Double Leg Stretch!

Unfortunately I've developed Carpal Tunnel in my right hand again from breastfeeding, so I can't do much yoga. The splint I'm wearing is annoying, but it definitely helps. It's also quite fashionable - as if!

I started pumping my breastmilk to allow me a bit of freedom, not to mention relieve the stress around being the only one that could feed her! In the first few weeks, I would often wake up and think that I was in the middle of nursing, madly patting the duvet around me in search of my missing baby! I even woke up once seated upright, with my nursing bra pulled down and boob out, air-nursing the invisible infant cradled in my arms!

I haven't actually tried using a bottle with Carmen, but Jason has successfully fed her a couple of times now. I think if I tried, she would smell my boobs and push the bottle aside - even when I'm just holding her in my arms, she will peck my nipples through my clothes! She gets that from her daddy...

I've returned to teaching a few times a week now, which is great for my well-being and also for Jason, to give him a bit of daddy-only time before he starts school in July. Lenore, the woman across the road, is going to help me with child care for a few hours here and there.

I was having misgivings about leaving her with someone so early. However, the other night Carmen was going berserk with gas - Jason was out and I was in tears with frustration and remorse for having eaten brocolli the previous evening, inflicting my poisonous breastmilk on my daughter! After nearly 21/2 hrs of her crying, Lenore saw me out on the front porch and told me to come over. She proceeded to whack the crap out of Carmen, along with about 5 burps and a fart. As I stared agape - half in horror and half amazed - she explained that she was NOT beating my child, but burping her like a baby instead of a fine porcelain doll. Needless to say, after teaching me three new burping positions and calming my daughter in less than 10 minutes, Lenore was HIRED.

When I choose to watch what I'm eating, my breastmilk has become Liquid Gold. I can use it to drug my darling daughter in order for her to sleep through an entire haircut appointment in her carseat! In the first three days of her life, the colostrum I was producing sustained my little cutie, but she was always quite alert after feedings. On day three, my milk came in and her first feeding nearly knocked her out! Her arms and legs dangled loosely at her sides, her jaw was slack and her eyes rolled back in her head! She let out a massive burp, much like Barney from the Simpsons. I was so worried about her lethargy that I called the midwives, who said casually, "Oh, that's just Drunk Baby."

Bella has become quite protective of us when we are out and about. I had to breastfeed her in the middle of an outing to the park today. As I perched on her changepad and rested against a tree trunk, Bella stood watch. When another dog came sniffing around, Bella wasted no time in establishing her perimeter and chasing the dog off. Usually she is so friendly, but not when she is being Big Sister!

We had a recent bout with diaper rash. My sister asked us if we had tried using the blow dryer to dry her off properly before putting on the diaper ointment. What a difference! Not only was she totally calmed by the noise, but the rash was gone in days! Now we have created a bit of a monster though, she is much like Marilyn Monroe over a sewer grate during change time. Oh well, whatever works.

I wonder what month two will bring?

Diaper Champ

2006-05-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, it really takes me a long time to get on the computer these days...

Carmen is growing up so quickly, it is hard to believe that she'll be a month old next week! She's grown out of a set of onesies now - she gained 2lbs 1oz in 3 weeks!!! She went for her first visit to the midwife yesterday and Leanne was shocked at how much our little girl had gained!

Got Milk?

Aside from a bit of perfume sensitivity, the little peanut is doing very well. She definitely keeps us on our toes, but at least we are no longer guessing what is wrong when she cries - for the most part anyways. The perfume thing took a few instances to sort out.

Alert Sprout!

Our lives are starting to shuffle into place too. I started teaching Mom & Baby Fitness this past Tuesday and felt very strong and full of energy. When Jason starts school in July, the woman across the street has agreed to take care of Carmen for an hour here and there when I go to teach my classes. Hopefully that will turn out well. She is quite excited to have a baby to look after! I've also got my first article ready for publication in fall for Urban Baby & Toddler magazine! So excited! My friend Casey copy-edited it for me, and the magazine editor thanked me for such a well-written and edited manuscript! I felt so official! I'm also getting ready to present a prenatal discussion at Pomegranate Community Midwives on May 28th, so that is pretty exciting as well!

Jason has been volunteering at Shaunessy, helping kids with special needs and teaching wee little Gr. 2's the shotput! He is really enjoying his time with Carmen and I. We go for walks almost everyday to the Endowment Lands, the Seawall, the Van Dusen Botanical Gardens... it feels so indulgent!

For my first Mother's Day, my sister's family and my Mom & Dad are coming into Vancouver to stay for the weekend. My niece Ashley will get to meet her new little cousin, and us moms will have a chance to celebrate a little. Should be fun!

Our little dragonfly

Daddy's Girl

2006-04-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

Daddy's Girl

The first week of our new baby's life has passed by quickly and we have all made it! Even covered in pooh, we have found the love of our lives.

Catnap

We have been learning very quickly our daughter's personality and quirks. She loooooooves baths, but HATES to be exposed for dry-off time, diaper changes or any other time that she is the only naked one. This is interesting, coming from nudists like Jason and I!

She loves the sound of Daddy's voice singing to her, and Daddy has no shortage of songs that he has revamped for her - "Bobby McGee" has become "Carmen Baby". I like to think that she loves my singing voice as well, but I think that her smiles and cute facial expressions are really just gas.

She has finally figured out how to poop. Most newborns have no idea how to poop, so they contort their bodies and faces until something finally works (!) and then they are so surprised that they cry! Carmen's got a handle on it now, and I like to attribute this to her father's proficieny in the bathroom.

In just a week, she has went from 5lbs, 12 oz to 6lbs, 2 oz fueled by the milk that is spurting like crazy from my breasts. This girl can EAT! I think she gets it from me.

She sleeps most of the time in her crib, but once in a while I like to get some tummy time with her, and she'll sleep naked on my bare chest curled up like a little mouse. I can't get over how amazing this feels, or how easily I can sleep with her like that, where I know that she is breathing and her heart is beating.

My momma-bear side was quick to develop - I've never been so protective in my life! The other night we went for a quick visit to a party. Jason was proudly passing our daughter between our friends and family, recounting our birth experience and telling everyone about catching the baby, changing diapers and how he looks forward to having me sleep on my side while he puts Carmen to my breast to nurse! I, on the other hand, am staring wide-eyed at everyone holding our daughter, sweating a crazy adrenaline sweat, my inner-voice screaming "GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!!!!" This has calmed down somewhat in the last few days. But barely.

Right now she is curled up in a vibrating chair (hah, baby vibrator!) and is sound asleep beside me. I'm finding it challenging to fit in the tidbits of my old life that still need attention, but I know I am up for it.

For more pics, check out Daddy's blog... thanks Nunuboo!

Carmen Jade Camp

2006-04-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

Our little girl...

After two nights of false labour, I started early labour contractions at 10pm last night, water broke at 4am, St. Paul's by 5:30am. In the tub by 6am in hard labour, pushing started at 7:05am and at 7:25am our little baby girl decided she was finally ready to meet us!

5lbs, 12oz - 49cm long - totally healthy and strong. She's a great little breastfeeder and pooper! I'm doing fine - no drugs and minimal tearing, only a few stitches. I cannot say enough good things about our midwife Leanne! And my hubby Jason held my leg while I pushed laying on my side, then caught the baby and put her on my chest. Pretty amazing stuff!

I can actually see my feet again! And I can't believe the noises that came out of my mouth - my throat is killing me! I don't know what kind of animal I was, but it seems to have worked!

Yippee!

Hope this finds you all well.

Still No Baby

2006-04-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

Another day of Braxton Hicks, bloody show and back ache - but no baby.

If I have to shove one more capsule of evening primrose oil up my hoohah... I swear to God, I might lose it. Sorry, too much information?

On the plus side, Jason's mural in the nursery is coming along wonderfully - it is SO CUTE to see him nesting. I will post before and after shots when he's done. I love my Renaissance man, he cooks, paints AND looks hot in a Speedo!

Also, I have finished sewing my crib dust ruffle, valance, rocking chair cover and closet door curtain.

See that, baby??? I'm READY!!!

Tomorrow is my parents' 30th wedding anniversary. I'm thinking a grandchild might be a good gift. I wonder if I should buy a card?

In other news, we woke up at 5am this morning to find out that Jason has been UNCONDITIONALLY ACCEPTED to start school at UBC in July! Yay, Plan A!!! We didn't really have a Plan B...

Yay! Hubby in school!

Baby come now!

Ready to Go

2006-04-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I visited my midwife and had a cervical "massage". Let me tell you that anytime a midwife asks you if you want a massage, you should know that it is NOT a massage and is more like prodding! But I should know that from my perineal massage experiences...

Anyhow the idea is to find out how your cervix is doing - i.e. is it dialating, effacing or softening, which are all precursors to labour. Secondly, the massage is done to stimulate the cervix to produce prostaglandins, which are the hormones released that start the abovementioned cervical contortions!

So after finding out that I was about 1.5cm dialated and 50% effaced, the massage was performed which stretched me a further centimetre or so.

After spending the rest of the day with menstrual-like cramping and crazy Braxton Hicks contractions (both side effects of irritating the uterus), I tried to get some sleep. At midnight, I woke up to some harsh BH contractions, coming at regular intervals. At 2:30am, when they were about 5 minutes apart, Jason and I decided to page our midwife.

She advised a warm bath after my descriptions to her, and because I was still able to talk through my contractions while I was on the phone with her. Sure enough, I had a bath and the contractions ceased.

I woke up 5 hours later with more contractions. They have been going ALL DAY. My midsection is continuously one rock-hard lump weighing over my bladder, which has been flattened to a pancake.

I'm doing everything I can - sex, exercise, Ninth Month Tea - and soon I will have some spicy food. Maybe eating jalepenos while doing jumping jacks?

BABY GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT.... Hotel Callie-fornia is closing it's doors!

Scrubdown

2006-04-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

In preparation for a Fit 4 Two photoshoot with Nunuboo over the weekend, I went to the spa to get a body scrub and self-tanner application. Vain, yes. But if I'm going to feel like I'm on vacation, first I must LOOK like I'm on vacation...

I had no idea the hurdles that awaited me in my quest for bronze goddessness! When I walked into the sterile shower room, the esthetician prompted me to undress, hop up on the table and lay facedown, covered with a towel.

Firstly, at nearly 37 weeks pregnant, I cannot hop anywhere, especially not onto a table that loomed seemingly 10ft in the air! Secondly, lay facedown???? If I attempted to lay on my belly, I would either burst like an overripe grape or just rock back and forth on said belly like a weeble-wobble! So I just arched my eyebrow in response and told the esthetician that it wasn't going to happen due to the advanced state of my pregnancy. She chuckled nervously, and said that on my back was fine. Did she not notice my belly?

When she left the room, I used a nearby chair to assist my ascent to the diving platform table and tried to cover my ever-expanding self with the towel. This achieved the equivalent of hiding my belly with one of my Grandma's lace doilies! I didn't know if the objective was to preserve my dignity or the esthetician's, so I left the teeny towel perched precariously on the apex of my midsection and attempted to relax.

She came back in and donned the little scrubbie gloves and began quickly whisking away my dead skin cells. In order to do the back of my legs, she asked me to bend my knee slightly so that it lifted off the table. At this point, she directed her gaze to a far corner of the room, so as not to look at my crotch. Again, I wondered if this were to preserve my dignity or hers, although I imagine she must have seen a crotch or two in her day, being an esthetician and all! I've had midwives, doctors and students all looking at my girlie bits for months now, so I no longer HAVE a shred of modesty! Who knows, maybe she was trying to not embarass me by witnessing my botched bikini line waxing from weeks before?

After she had finished, she asked me if I wanted my stomach done. For some reason, I had assumed that the scrub would automatically include body parts like my boobs and belly, but apparently not! As my belly seems like about 70% of my body surface these days, I quickly nodded my assent. So she turns to me with this little facecloth folded in half - to put over my breasts. Again with the modesty! Besides the fact that my big pregnancy boobs were hiding happily in my armpits at this point, I obliged her and coaxed my nipples out of their hiding places to huddle together under the terrycloth. Using tasselled pasties would have achieved the same effect!

The lightest of scrubbings across my belly nearly sent me into laughing fits from the tickling. I think she was afraid to put too much pressure on my belly - maybe she was afraid to scrub through the layers of skin and uterus? In any case, she ended this portion quickly. I was a little sad because pregnant belly skin is notoriously itchy from all the stretching. Mind you, had she scratched me vigourously, my foot probably would have thumped on the table like a dog's.

After using gobs of every product available in the shower following the scrub (have to make it worth it!) I changed rooms for the self-tanner application. Again, I lugged my naked bulbous self up onto a table and draped a teatowel over my mountainous belly. The esthetician returned, snapped on a pair of rubber gloves and lightly applied the coconutty lotion to my various body parts. After the application, I realized that I was going to look much like a tanned barber pole without any intervention since my boobs, underbelly and butt were completely without tanner! So after she had left the room, I dashed to the counter where she had left the bottle of tanner and doused myself liberally!

After it was all said and done, I awoke the next morning to find myself a darker shade of pasty white! Totally like I had been vacationing on the Mayan Riviera! Sigh.

In future spa visits, I think I'll stick to facials.

Hurry Up and Relax!

2006-03-30T21:03:00.000-08:00

After my Grandma's funeral this past week, I returned to work on Monday to give my 4-week notice for maternity leave. Instead, they gave me the option of just leaving and being put on short term disability until the baby comes... spending the rest of my pregnancy doing whatever I want without having to worry about work.

Kind of a no-brainer!

In a normal situation, I would feel weird about this - as if I were milking the system. However, with the work environment the way it is (i.e. everyone laid off!) I don't really feel that badly. Not to mention the fact that this pregnancy has seen a fair number of stressors, both good and bad:

1. Getting married
2. Renovating the house
3. Getting laid off
4. Starting a business
5. Having my Grandpa die
6. Having my Grandma die

So I am officially no longer working.

This is the first time in my life that I've been jobless. It is SO WEIRD! That doesn't mean I'm not busy, though. I've been running around like a madwoman, buying bottles and receiving blankets, mapping out Stroller Fitness routes for my instructors to use and helping Jason with the renovations whenever I can.

I'm also in the home stretch of my pregnancy! My midwives gave me the go-ahead to drink the Ninth Month Tea! I have an appointment with them every week, as well as with my massage therapist and my osteopath. This may sound like overkill, but my hips are messed up and my hands look like sausages right now. I finally had to wrestle my rings off my fingers, and they didn't give up without a fight! My trusty RMT, Tara, helps drain the fluid from my hotdog fingers while my osteopath, Caroline, helps get my hips in line for baby.

I've also put one of my birthday gifts to use. Most people that get spa gifts use them right away, but I've been hanging on to Andrea's birthday gift for 4 months! So I finally made it to Eveline Charles for a facial, a pedicure and a body scrub, all on separate days. My favourite was definitely the facial. I had to leave my pedicure early, so Jason painted the tiny canvasses that are my toenails later that evening!

This baby could come any day now! I have to hurry up and relax!

There and Then Gone

2006-03-17T23:45:00.000-08:00

My Grandpa was a hard man, and together my grandparents Dumas had a hard life. They drank and smoked heavily, worked their asses off their entire lives and never tooke a day off.

Every Saturday, starting when I was 6, I went to my Grandma's coffeeshop to work. I cleaned shelves and wrapped forks and knives in napkins with ketchup and salt. I made $10 a day, a fortune for a kid who couldn't even see over the counters. Over the years, I learned how to make my Grandma's famous cinnamon buns, pies, butter tarts and dinner rolls. I learned the usual orders for all of her regulars. I grew tall enough to use the grill and the deep fryer, brave enough to call orders into the adjoining bar, and good enough to make pretty amazing tips.

When I got to Grade 7, my Grandpa started picking me up every day after school to go to the coffeeshop to help Grandma close up. Each day, I walked out the front doors and Grandpa would be standing there beside the old Chevy Blazer that smelled like farm chickens. His army green GWG's would be unbuttoned to mid belly, with red Husquavrna suspenders straining to hold up his pants. Often he would be playing with his false teeth, making awful faces that mortified me in front of my friends. That was one of his favorite things to do, embarrass me, because it was so easy.

He would drive 35km/hr to the coffeeshop, with Gaye Delorme "The Rodeo Song" playing on the tape deck...

"Well it's forty below and I don't give a f**k
Got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo

It's an alamana left - an alamana right
Come on you f**king dummy get your right step right
Get off stage - you God-damned goof you know
You piss me off - you f**king jerk
You get on my nerves

Well here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand
He's a one ball man and he's off to the rodeo"

...I think he liked to play it for the shock value, the same reason he made derogatory comments about my Filipino boyfriend to my face, the same reason he hollered "Hello in 'dis place" everytime he opened the door to our house and the same reason he turned into a violent, angry man everytime he got drunk.

I loved my Grandpa, but I never really liked him. He was mean to my mom and to my Grandma - I was witness to his abuse more times than I care to remember. He infuriated and embarassed me with his racism and judgement - he was half Métis and yet had no problem letting his unfavorable opinions of any other race be known, and often in their company. He was an overweight alcoholic, chain-smoking across the dining room table when I came to visit.

Over the course of a few years, I saw the big hulking man I knew as Grandpa Dumas wither away into someone quite different. As he sat across the table in the hospital the last time I saw him, looking at his only great-grandchild (my niece Ashley), I couldn't help but think that he was no longer the same person. He made jokes about my growing pregnant belly and I hoped fervently that he would make it to see his second great grandchild.

And when he died this January, age 78, I cried.

Visiting my Grandma after the memorial was reassuring. She was still full of piss n' vinegar, notifying us in her French accent that one of the other widowers in town was already "sniffing around". How Leo, her "s'Homme", would be the only man for her - ever! Talking about how she had a new trailer that she would park out at my parent's campsite for the summer and stay.

And then two weeks later she broke her hip. She spent her 75th birthday in the hospital, battling viral infections that left her a shadow of her former self. When my brother told me that he cried almost the entire time he visited her in the hospital, I didn't believe it.

I couldn't envision my Grandma anything other than what she was when I was little. Kneading mounds of bread dough with her arthritic hands, the hairnet over her French Roll hairstyle, the dangly earrings. Telling me not to chew my gum like a cow. Telling me to pull up my slouch socks. Praying over any body part that sustained an injury. Reading tea leaves - but never mine because I was too young. Yelling at my Grandpa in French when they were fighting, so we wouldn't understand. In fact, that is why my brother went into French Immersion, so he could understand what all the yelling was about!

But then this past weekend, Jason and I went over to the Island to visit. And it was that bad. I cried when I saw the skin and bones that used to be my Grandma on the bed. We had to wear gowns and gloves to visit her, although through my gown she pointed to my belly and said "fat", making me laugh through my tears. My mom and I joked about her nightie slipping off her shoulder and how there must be some male nurses around. I think she smiled. Hard to tell for sure.

And so the weekend passed, us visiting each day, each day getting a bit easier although we knew she wasn't getting better. My mom prepared to take my Grandma home to die. We went to the Walmart and shopped for a Diaper Genie and Huggies wipes for my Grandma, then face cloths and socks for my baby. It was funny and sad at the same time. The special bed was delivered, the oxygen set up, the nurse arrived. Sunday night my Grandma got to sleep in her own nightie, with my mom at her side.

Yesterday morning my mom was sleeping beside her bed and woke up to hear my Grandma's erratic breathing. She said it was over in 15 minutes, very peaceful.

And all of a sudden, I only have one set of grandparents.

My Grandma's death has hit me much harder than my Grandpa's. Or maybe it's the snowball effect of the two, or the pregnancy hormones mounting, or me just reaching the end of my rope.

Photo Op!

2006-03-14T18:33:00.000-08:00

My favorite photographer Lisa gave me an offer I couldn't refuse - maternity shots! These are much much better than the pasty bikini shots that Jason and I have been taking! Many of my favourite shots are too risqué for the blog, "baby porn" as Jason and I have taken to calling the numerous boob and belly shots. But here are some of the non-nudie shots for your perusal... 27lbs and counting!

Big Belly

Belly Love

Yoga Belly

Too much information...

2006-03-06T15:51:00.000-08:00

Guys, you may want to skip this one.

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This morning I tried the unthinkable. I tried to have a DIY "beauty day", which normally means painting my fingernails and toes, doing my eyebrows and waxing my bikini line.

To many women, the thought of a bikini wax makes them recoil in horror. The thought of performing one themselves is utterly unfathomable. But it's never bothered me before. No biggie, I can take it.

Or at least I could before my belly got so large. So large that I need to hold it to one side in order to SEE my bikini line. And certainly before every nerve ending in my nether regions doubled in sensitivity.

Nope, that blood flow increase certainly didn't do me any favours this morning.

Normally you hold your skin taut with one hand, while pulling with the other in the opposite direction. But with the belly, one hand was a little tied up. So I tried pulling without holding the skin taut. YEEE-OWCH!!! I could hear my hubby asking worriedly from the other room if I was alright.

No, of course I wasn't! But the bikini line could not win!

After getting hot wax on my belly, and nearly ripping a patch of skin off my thigh, I was ready to give up halfway through.

But I am a glutton for punishment and persevered. Again, I could not be beaten by the bikini line! I have so little dignity left! I cannot go to the pool with an untidy mess!

So I finished.

Never again.

That's it, I give up. My baby has won the turf war, my body is allllll his.

I say HIS like I know the baby's sex. And I haven't seen any genitalia on an ultrasound screen. But somehow I just KNOW it's a boy.

Long Time, No Blog!

2006-03-03T17:23:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me today that I haven't blogged in a while when Jordan emailed me worried that something was up...

Last night was Nutmilk's birthday (she hasn't posted in a while either!) and so we went out for a fab Greek dinner and True Confections afterwards for dessert. A great chick with a great group of friends! I just had a few forkfuls of mine and Jenn's leftover cheesecake, YUM!!! There were a lot of fellow bloggers there too, which is really quite weird and cool at the same time. It was nice to see Mr. Karlsen as well, although there was significantly less of him to see, he had lost 40lbs! I had to look twice to figure out who he was when I saw him at first, so crazy!

This past weekend we were all set up to have our hardwood refinished upstairs - Jason had relocated our upstairs stuff to our half-finished downstairs, quite a lengthy process! I don't see Jason get angry very often, but taking apart a certain Ikea computer desk was proving to be quite the vexation! Anyhow Jason did this on Thursday, as I was convinced that our refinisher was going to show up earlier on Friday. As it turned out, he didn't show for work until Saturday... After spending two nights at my father-in-law's, and a night in Whistler, we came home Sunday to find Peter still sanding! Arg!

Sunday night we headed back to JJ's house, followed by Monday night at our next-door-neighbour's (complete with Dozer and Bella sleeping in our bed) and Tuesday night at my mother-in-law's since she was out of town. That evening Jason and I had run out of clothes and so while our stuff was being washed, Jason wore some of his mom's penguin and polar-bear decorated pajamas and I wore her house coat!

Jason was convinced that the fumes were still not gone enough for me to sleep at home, so finally Wednesday night found us at Andrea's newly renovated home. I had pretty much had it by that point although I have to admit, it was pretty cozy. Andrea drew a bubble bath for me in her clawfoot tub, before tucking us into her gorgeous new bed linens after we had finished a meal of pork medallions with mushrooms...

Last night was our first night home and BOY did we sleep! Even though our upstairs is in a bit of an uproar, it is nice to be back home.

This weekend we hope to finish mudding and taping the drywall downstairs. Next week the completion of the condo goes through, so that will be a load off as well. And then next weekend we're off to Port Alberni to celebrate my dad's 50th birthday, which is being held at the curling rink after their bonspeil! Jason is pretty excited to try curling, but I will have to be content to cheer from the stands, gr!

It will be nice to visit my grandma as well, since she has been in the hospital for the last month. She fell and broke her hip about two weeks after my grandpa died and my mom has been worried sick about her health during her hospital stay. I can't imagine being in my mom's position right now, she is going to the hospital to feed my grandma her meals because she refuses to eat otherwise. It is sad, not just because she's hurting physically but also emotionally because her husband of over 50 years is gone.

Well it's Friday afternoon and I'm already home, so might as well start my weekend off with a bit of relaxation.

Home Birth!!!

2006-02-21T20:08:00.000-08:00

Today I received a call from my prenatal class instructor, Nikiah, to tell us a little story about another couple from the class who were due this past Monday.

Kori and her hubby Steve, who had planned their delivery at the hospital with their doctor. They were ready, the bags were packed and waiting by the door. BUT THEN, a few days early, Kori goes into labour at home and after only 4 hours, with nobody there to help them, her husband delivers the baby and cuts the cord!

9lbs of little girl, all are healthy!

I thought that only happened on TV!

Needless to say, I think Jason will be stocking up on towels and reading up on delivering babies...

February Fiasco!

2006-02-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

February has been a wickedly busy month... getting this business off the ground, selling the condo, prenatal classes, renovations... crazy stuff.

We've officially sold the condo, subjects are off and we have a completion date of March 8. The day it was listed internally with our realtor Ken at ReMax, we had an offer. We countered at our list price and they took it. A few days later we had two competing back-up offers at the list price! It was nuts. It leads me to believe that we could have gotten a bit more if we were willing to hang on for a while, but Jason has a saying, "Save a little for the next guy..." I tend to agree and am glad to get the house finances sorted before I go into labour!

Business is going well, except that I'm finding it really hard to find instructors! Luckily I have a few I can use in the Spring until I am able to teach... my class roster is growing - I'm now at 5 community centers! It's very exciting to get rave reviews from people currently taking classes in East Van, I hope that the trend continues!

Prenatal classes are over and although some aspects of the Seeds of Birth classes were a bit airy-fairy for my taste, I have to admit that I learned a lot. Every class we had to squeeze ice cubes in our hands while experimenting with different pain coping and relaxation methods. Pretty hard when your hand is on fire with cold! The last class had us in "contractions", both hands in and out of frigid ice water again and again. The searing pain would almost abate before we had to redunk. By the end, I was seriously doubting whether I would make it through labour, but at the same time it forced me to confront my fears. I bawled openly in front of the class, but I did feel better at the end!

This past Saturday, Jason and I held a walk/run event from our house to commemorate his late wife, and also to raise money for the BC Cancer Foundation. We planned to sell shirts and were amazed when 66 shirts were ordered! The number kept growing and I think we had about 80 people at the house! Two women we didn't even know showed up with almost $800 in pledges - we didn't even ask people to get pledges!!! All together we pulled in over $2000 in donations. It was amazing, so much help from family and friends. The weather was gorgeous and my in-laws helped make sure there were enough pancakes, waffles, fruit and hot bevvies for everyone there. I will have to post pictures when I get them... Nunuboo was there snapping shots for us!

I hope everyone's February has been eventful and successful as mine!

Kegels in Cantonese

2006-02-06T20:54:00.000-08:00

Omigod! Who knew working could be FUN??

Is this what other people who LIKE their jobs feel like on a daily basis?

Why didn't somebody tell me about this feeling???

I can't believe I've been missing out on this for so long! I'll be making the teeniest tiniest fraction of the amount of money that I make engineering, and yet I'm more excited about this new business venture than I've ever been about any of my past jobs.

I know that there will be days that suck. I know that when one of my contractors calls in sick and I can't find a sub that I'll have to strap on my Snugli and teach with my baby strapped on the front of me! I know that there will be heartache and stress and annoyance when program co-ordinators don't love my proposals, or don't have any room left. I know all those things.

But it's still exciting!

Today, myself and a few fellow Fit 4 Two'ers met up on the seawall to go over class ideas and marketing strategies. We power-walked our empty strollers and chattered excitedly as we squatted and lunged our way towards benches for tricep dips and V-sits.

A few of us were pregnant, a few are already moms. But we were all on the same wavelength... suddenly I have gone from an all-male to an all-female workplace and the change is drastic and interesting. I know that there will be ups and downs, but I don't have to feign interest in high-tech mumbo-jumbo anymore and it feels great!

So far I have booked sessions for Spring 2006 at three community centers. I even have talks schedules to promote postnatal fitness at two community health units!

Me!

I'm giving TALKS!

I was even asked to do a talk for 30-40 Cantonese-speaking moms, which I would be given an interpreter to use!

How do you say "Kegels" in Cantonese???

I haven't agreed to that one yet, it's a bit intimidating, but I'll get there eventually!

I love getting into the administrative and promotional side of health & wellness. It's a whole new ballgame.

East Van Mompreneur

2006-01-31T12:18:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's me! I've just bought into a pre/postnatal fitness franchise Fit 4 Two!

This is not something sudden for me, it's been something I've been thinking about for a loooooooong time. I decided that when I went on mat leave, that I would try and run some fitness classes in East Vancouver to see if I could make it work. I know the owner, I like the business case and I like collaborating with other people.

You see, I don't want to be an engineer anymore. The people are nice, the money is great, but I'm bored. Not to mention that it's nearly impossible to work part-time. And even if you get to work 4 days a week, you end up doing 5 days worth of work anyways and only getting paid for 4.

Did I mention child care??? SO expensive! I don't want to pay someone an arm and a leg for the priviledge of raising my baby. I can't bear the thought of handing the monkey over everyday to go to a job that I don't even like.

So here I go!

If there are any other moms or moms-to-be in the Vancouver Eastside that are looking for fitness classes and don't want to travel downtown or into the Westside, send them my way!

A Tale of No Sleep

2006-01-26T13:33:00.000-08:00

So apparently the third trimester is going to be about not getting any sleep. I know, I know, I should just get used to the sleep deprivation before baby gets here. But easier said than done.

My pregnancy has been pretty textbook this far. Almost the day that my second trimester started, the queasy feeling that had been gripping my tummy for three months abated as the clock struck midnight. The first week one might start feeling Braxton Hicks contractions was the week my uterus decided to go into heavy training for the upcoming main event. Even my boobs have anted up on schedule, overcoming the confines of their holsters and ecking out droplets of colostrum whenever they please.

So it should be no surprise that the first night of my third trimester, I would get no sleep. Well NO sleep is a bit of an exaggeration, but when you need a pee break three times a night, and now it takes you around an hour to get back to sleep after said pee break... well it feels like NO SLEEP!

And of course, this baby is fucking with me. As I walk around during my busy days, it lulls the baby to sleep and I feel only the odd aerobics session after I eat. However at night... at night the baby wants to party. This baby karate chops and jazzercizes. This baby does the "What a Feeling!" flashdance in my womb. This baby is slowly trying to hammer it's way out with tiny fists and heels.

So at least while I lie awake, I have some entertainment. I'm trying to teach the baby to punch or kick on cue when I tap my belly in a certain spot. Sounds dumb, but it keeps me from bawling in the middle of the night as I stare up at the ceiling.

It's been four nights. I am such a zombie right now.

Everyday is Beautiful

2006-01-22T15:17:00.000-08:00

Jason's first wife, Angie, died of a brain tumour on January 24th, 2004. I never knew her, only through the man that I love and her friends that have become mine as well. Jason's nickname for her was Beautiful.

Ang used to work at Mountain Equipment Co-op alongside her friend Lynn. Last fall, without telling anyone, Lynn got together with one of the DeFeet salespeople, another friend and colleague of Angie's, to make some socks that would both pay tribute to Ang and also raise money for cancer research. MEC had offered to donate a portion of the sales towards the BC Cancer Agency.

Beautiful Socks

Recently in the mail, Jason received a letter from the BC Cancer Agency notifying him that a generous donation from MEC had been made in Angie's name. We were both a little puzzled...

Lynn finally told him that their "Beautiful Socks" have raised $4200 so far towards cancer research! There are three different types, Jason has some green ones and I have the pink ones. If you cycle, walk or run, or just like technical socks, these are great!

They say "Everyday is Beautiful" on the instep...

Need socks???

Nighttime thoughts...

2006-01-20T15:29:00.000-08:00

I couldn't get any sleep last night. Jason and I have been having talks recently about selling our condo and using the profits to pay off our house mortgage and put away a little nest egg.

A few people at my work think we are crazy to think of selling the condo. The building is right beside the skytrain, and the Olympic developments going on are causing the value of the properties to increase. We currently have tenants in the condo that cover the mortgage, strata, tax, etc. which seems like a pretty good deal, and it is... if you have a good cash flow.

BUT we don't.

With Jason in school and my impending mat leave, cash is tight and will be for the forseeable future. Juggling two mortgages, rocketing money back and forth between accounts, and the risk of "what-if" expenses of two properties is taking years off our lives in stress. Even more so, I am hoping to leave the high-tech industry, which means buh-bye big salary! That is not to say that I won't work, but it certainly won't be full-time, and it won't be in engineering. Jason's teaching salary (if he can land a job in Vancouver) will not be nearly what I am making in nerd-land.

An obvious pro would be paying off the house that we live in. Jason and I were both lucky enough to have bought property before the Vancouver housing market skyrocketed. Now both the condo and the house have climbed significantly in value. We could make out like bandits if things fall into place.

The market is good for selling right now, and if stock options have taught me anything, it's that it's way too easy to get greedy and hold out for the BIG sell. So many times I've held on to my options, waiting for things to get a little bit better, and had the whole house of cards come crashing down. I've learned from that mistake, and even though my current job options aren't worth much, I cash little bits here and there to "ride the wave".

If we sold the condo, we'd be able to use our little bits of extra income to continue contributing to RRSPs, to start an education fund for our kid(s) and to pay premiums for things like life insurance. We could afford to go out once in a while, we could afford to have me work part-time and not have to put our kid(s) in daycare. We could even afford for Jason to complete his Masters and for me to return to school eventually.

The thoughts of getting my Masters in Physiotherapy still appeals to me. Until then, I am pursuing a few things in the fitness industry. Life is short. I'm all about planning for the future and socking away cash for our kid(s) but I'm also about the present. Presently I hate my job!

So many things to think about, but the more we do, the more it looks like a no-brainer.

Anyhow, just a little note on things I noticed when I was trying (unsuccessfully) to get back to sleep at 3:30am, after my fourth pee break...

1. If my hubby is sleeping and his breathing is shallow and fast, when I rub his temples and head, his breathing slows down almost instantly.

2. If I am laying in bed on my back, I can feel my baby's head and rock it back and forth. The baby will kick and punch back at me on cue, I can even guess where I will feel the kicks across my abdomen. The baby's tae-kwon-do practice doesn't hurt, yet!

3. When Bella stirs from the couch after hearing me waken, she comes to the side of the bed for some petting and scratching. If I let my hand just rest heavily on her, she will duck under it with her head and try to get my attention with her wet nose. If I continue to pretend to have fallen asleep, she will let out a whine or two, then fall to the ground beside the bed with a HUGE sigh.

Life would be so much simpler if I were a dog.

Five Weird Things...

2006-01-18T18:26:00.000-08:00

So I've been tagged by Rambling Girl to divulge five weird things about myself. Shouldn't be too hard, I can think of LOTS of weird things!!!

1. I can't mix foods. At Thanksgiving, while everyone else is slapping their corn and mashed potatoes together and slathering them in gravy, I am carefully creating invisible fences between my foods so they don't touch. Going to buffets with those evil small plates annoys the crap out of me. I will eat a stirfry by first eating all the carrots, then the broccoli, then the snow peas. But never the onions because...

2. I hate onions. I love to cook and will dice the onions up super small if a recipe calls for them so that I can't see them. If I order something in a restaurant, I will always specify "No onions" and if they forget, I will send it back. When cooking for guests, I will include onions, just pick them out and leave them in a corner on my plate.

3. I HATE doing the dishes. I will gladly scrub the toilets, do the laundry and mop the floors but please please please don't make me do the dishes. Unless of course I am at your house for dinner, in which case I will offer to do them gladly.

4. I don't like slow sports, I find them too boring. Walking, hiking, snowshoeing... too slow, Zzzzzzz. Oddly enough, I loved cycling through Europe with Jason, but then I also got to stare at his spandex-clad butt and shoulders the whole time. Much like a rabbit with a carrot dancing in front of it's nose.

5. I can't relax. Most of the time, my mind is chattering away like a monkey. I teach yoga and while instructing others to breathe and let go of their thoughts, my brain is spinning like a whirling dervish. I am always doing something, usually two things at a time. This pregnancy has addled me to an extent that I often forget the second thing, often leading to burnt cookies or a hungry dog.

Now who should I tag?

Jason
Nutmilk
Jenn
Jordan

Proud Daddy

2006-01-17T08:32:00.000-08:00

This is what my husband does while I am sleeping...

First I was horrified that my pasty white body was posted for all to see.

Then I was pleased to see that my butt really hasn't grown that much in the last 26 weeks.

Then I was happy that my hubby is ecstatic about my weight gain. He hasn't gained an ounce of sympathy weight, only our dog has, but he's been pretty damned excited about seeing me get chubby.

Yesterday at the midwives, I was floored when I found out that I have gained 22.5lbs so far. Already my back gets achy and the arches of my feet fall inwards... I still have 14 weeks left! I hope my little body can keep up!

Belly Shot - 26 weeks

Primed for Action!

2006-01-11T17:32:00.000-08:00

With heavy renovation work being done by Jason and a multitude of helpful friends downstairs, I've begun to feel quite useless. I would say I feel like a useless tit, but apparently my tits will be nothing but useFUL in the coming months!

SOOOO, I decided to start painting the nursery! The walls of our old den are rooster red, a color I love love love! But I'm trying to create a loving environment for my happy baby, and NOT a fiery hell pit for my ANGRY baby. So alas, no red room. Sigh.

After I had packed all FOURTEEN boxes of books out of the bookshelves, Jason came upstairs to move all the furniture into the middle of the room for me. I draped a giant dropsheet over the entirety so it now stands like a Saran-wrapped island in the middle of the room.

I attempted to don my regular painting duds. I managed the shirt, but had to resort to pajama pants since my jeans no longer fit! Then it was the chemical respirator - "LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER"... nothing says sexy like Gas Mask Lady.

I quickly realized how much my center of gravity has shifted and how unbalanced I am perched on a ladder anything higher than two steps off the floor! Luckily I could reach everything from the second step, since Jason had already taped the crown mouldings for me.

This morning I got the room primed. So the walls are a beautiful streaky pink.

Pepto Bismal room. Blech. At least my baby's stomach will be settled if I get nothing else accomplished.

Progress pics to come...

Resolutions

2006-01-06T09:25:00.000-08:00

Every year I make a resolution that is attainable and realistic. This year I have resolved to attempt the Squamish Triathlon for my third year running.

Normally this would be a cake walk. But it's on July 9th, 2006. That's only 45 days after my expected due date on April 25th... I can't figure out if I'm crazy or not.

Squamish is a special race. It's because of the race that Jason and I met, because of the race that Jason and I trained together and got to know each other. He's been the biggest cheerleader I've ever had and as corny as it may sound, I feel like there's a bit of magic in this race.

Last year I ran both my half-Ironman and the Olympic-distance Squamish race with an injured knee. In Squamish, I managed to knock my swim and bike times down, but my run increased by almost as much. I barely beat my 2004 time, but I didn't care. I think that in 2006, I can match my swim and maybe even my bike. The run will suck royally - with the extra pregnancy weight I've sworn off running until after the baby is born. But even if I have to walk the entire thing, I still want to give it a shot.

I hopped on my indoor trainer yesterday after somehow wedging my ever-expanding belly into my bike shorts. Luckily my feet are not too swollen to fit into my tiny bike shoes! I can no longer get into my tri-bars, the belly gets in the way and my heart rate skyrockets. But I can still spin away when the music is pumping!

My swim workout has been whittled down to 1500m... that is when I get out for a swim workout. It's become obvious that my polyester suit was not made for stretching and I will have to invest in a bigger suit since my boobs keep trying to escape when I'm reaching overhead in a front crawl. I also have to scope out the community center pools since my membership status at the YWCA is suspended along with my volunteer yoga instruction (don't get me started on my feelings regarding that!). I've heard that Killarney is re-opening soon with massive renos and ozonated water, I can't wait.

Who knows what will happen? My wetsuit might not even fit after the baby is born, my milkbar boobs might hit my knees when I'm biking... I may not even be able to sit comfortably in the saddle if I sustain any injury during labour. What if I have a c-section?

None of those maybes will keep me from signing up.

Holidaze

2006-01-03T13:42:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year and Merry Christmas! I hope the holiday was good to everyone!

Jason and I returned last night from a whirlwind road trip through Alberta and British Columbia...

Dec 22nd: Vancouver to Canmore
Dec 23rd: Canmore to Drumheller (drop off Bella girl)
Dec 24th: Drumheller to Calgary, flight to Fort McMurray
Dec 28th: Fort McMurray flight to Calgary, back to Drum
Dec 29th: Drumheller to Canmore
Dec 31st: Canmore to Nelson
Jan 2nd: Nelson to Vancouver, stop in Kelowna

Go Matrix!

Our little Toyota Matrix performed flawlessly throughout the trip, suffering only two rock chips in the windshield and racking up 3200km! It was also great to bring along Bella. Having to leave her in Drumheller with relatives over Christmas sucked, but Air Canada had an embargo on all pets over the holiday season. Stupid Air Canada!

In Canmore, we stayed alone at Jason's cousin Tim's beautiful vacation home - the place was massive, decked out with a clawfoot tub, fireplace, a stunning view of a whack of local mountains and PRIVACY!!!

Canmore Vacation View #1

Canmore Vacation View #2

Canmore Vacation View #3

In Drum, we stayed in a teeny house with many members of Jason's mom's family and a menagerie of animals. Andrea, my sis-in-law, took care of Bella for us since she was visiting at the same time with her mom. We even managed to hit the Royal Tyrell Museum to take in the amazing dinosaur exhibits. SO COOL!

RUN!!!

Studly in Sorels (and the toque I knitted!)

Rar!

Fort McMurray brought the storm of my immediate family - all five of us plus husbands and wives and little baby Ashley! Ice hockey on the frozen pond, walks through the woods with their dog Boomer, playing with Ashley and eating like it was going out of style! I also raided my sister Karen's maternity supply and managed to snag a few stylish tops and pants, along with unisex onsies and sleepers for my little monkey. The baby's antics have evolved into full-blown acrobatics now and I feel them all the time. Very cool and reassuring that everything is progressing normally!

In Nelson, we visited with Russ n' Jenn and their 2.5yr old Annie. Annie is about 30lbs of nonstop action - talking a mile a minute and continually batting her doe eyes to get away with murder! She rules the roost there, to be sure! But a cutie non-the-less. Unfortunately Bella wasn't allowed in their beautiful straw-bale house, so she stayed out in the car :( Sigh.

Lastly, in Kelowna we visited with Faye, Ang's mom. She was doing quite well and was really happpy to see us and of course, my tummy! I think she is quite excited to be a grandma, as strange as that may seem. She really wants great things for us, and that is very comforting.

Snowy Day on the ice of Lake Louise

When the Christmas season kicked up, Jason worried about his grieving being heightened since it was during the Dec/Jan timeframe two years ago that Ang was taken to the hospital with no intent of bringing her back home. January 24th will mark the second anniversary of her passing. I think he has fared pretty well so far this year, taking the dog out for solo strolls when he needs to be alone, or holing up with a book on the couch. Last year he went to Tofino for a few days by himself, I set up a cabin for him and Bella to stay in. He went surfing, ate well and spent the day quietly. This year he will stay here. It's strange how time passes.

.
.
.

A few minutes ago, after starting this post, I found out that my grandpa passed away this morning. He would have been 78 on Jan 14th. He only got to see one of his great grandchildren. My grandma is a mess and my mom and dad are not in town to be with her.

I guess I'm still in shock because I haven't started bawling yet. His passing is no surprise, we all knew he wasn't doing well. He's been in the hospital for months. They had a hard life, my grandparents Dumas. When I compare them to my dad's parents, they seem decades older. It's strange how time treats people differently.

I think I will wander home before this news hits me fully.

Almost Two Down, Three to Go!

2005-12-19T11:27:00.000-08:00

My third trimester is only a month away - I can hardly believe that I'm nearly 2/3 through this pregnancy! This last week has been a doozy...

* lactating breasts - check!
* single chin whisker - check!
* constant baby motion - check!

Sigh. I had a coffee the other morning and I swear to God that the baby was jumping up and down on my bladder singing "I LOVE COFFEE! MORE COFFEE MORE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE!!!"

You'd think that would put me off the coffee, but not so much. A morning mapafrapalappachinno is so yummy! Besides, I only have it a few times a week. Just long enough in between mugs to forget the feeling of the monkey catapulting off my already-squished bladder.

Not quite sure about the lactating thing... half of me is really happy to know that I stand such a high chance of being a successful milk bar, but the other half is thinking WTF?!??? I still have MONTHS to go! My midwife nearly clapped her hands with glee handing me some trial nursing pads, me not so much. There's nothing sexier than dripping boobs.

I've also had a rash of reckless behaviour in the past little while. On Jason's birthday I had not one, but TWO raw oysters on the half shell. Last night I even had an eighth of a glass of fine white wine! CALL THE BABY POLICE! RECKLESS MOM-TO-BE ON THE LOOSE!

It seems that this little monkey has a taste for the finer things in life... 16lbs and counting. I thought I had gained more, but apparently my body is just redistributing itself!

Over the weekend, Jason and I saw King Kong, which is a pretty big deal when you consider how few movies we actually see in the theatre. It was fan-freaking-tastic, with non-stop action and some truly heart-breaking scenes. I wasn't the only one crying in a few spots! Three hours with no pee breaks and I still loved it. We also watched March of the Penguins, which I highly recommend.

On the work scene, the dust has settled and people have began their daily routines of resume-manipulation, networking and going for loooong lunches with the core hours seeming to be 10-3. If I decide to come in at all, it's usually spent socializing and surfing. I even brought my knitting in today, but I don't think I have the balls to pull it out! I can't imagine this lasting for another three months without my going insane, but we'll see.

Lastly, on the homefront, we have insulation in place for the downstairs - it's amazing how warm it is!!! The wiring and plumbing is done, thanks to added work efforts of my Dad and a few good friends. Luckily we were able to get a lot at cost through my parents' plumbing company, so that is a huge bonus. So next on the list is getting the subfloor in and the drywall up. Drywall - yikes.

That's all for now! I gotta get home soon and get some more knitting done.

The Fallout

2005-12-13T11:35:00.000-08:00

Well, it's not just another day in the life of a high-tech worker... it's the day after my entire office got laid off, two weeks before Christmas.

The last time this happened to me nearly three years ago, I was at a telecommunications company along with about 90 others in Vancouver. They gave half of us three months notice, and the other half no notice at all. The severance packages were fantastic and the timing was good for me - a bunch of co-workers had recently resigned to begin a startup. I got a call from the startup two days later, asking me if I wanted to come join them. So for four months, I was getting two paychecks, double benefits, and a new and exciting job. Not a bad way to live!

This time is a bit different. The startup company was bought out by a big supercomputer company in 2003. They wanted our product badly to fill in a gap that their business case was lacking. So they acquired us, mismanaged us, and finally gave us the boot. Our product is now their product and our people got the shaft. Most of the people here will be terminated as of March 31, 2006. Some in July, some in December. So instead of severance packages, we get "working notice".

But, such is the vicious cycle of high-tech... startup, buyout, layoff... I feel so cynical to think of it that way, but that's just the way it is. This time there are no huge severance packages, and there is an incentive to leave early to collect some extra cash - up to 50% of your working notice.

Well, for everyone but me. Being 5 months pregnant hardly makes me an attractive candidate for employment, and I think the job search is more stress than I'm willing to take on. And I'm lucky that I don't have to, my higher-ups definitely went to bat for me and managed to get me my maternity leave with benefits, if I stick around until my due date. That's a better severance package than anyone else got! When I return, I am supposed to resign, since there will be no job waiting for me. I'm still not quite sure of the legality of things and find it perplexing to find out how much of a favour these people are doing me.

That means coming here to work each day. The environment is so toxic. Everyone is working on their resumes, searching for new jobs, venting about the company bigwigs, etc. I've been told that I should just "work from home", meaning work on my knitting, renovations, walk the dog, and all while receiving a paycheck. Crazy but true.

Sounds like a great situation, doesn't it?

It's not. I feel guilt coming into a job and getting paid for sitting on my heiny. I feel bad for the people around me that are all competing for the same set of jobs. I hate that people's Christmases have been ruined by this, when I just carry on, business as normal. How can anything be normal? What do they really expect us to accomplish in the next three months?

All I know is that surfing the web, blogging and polishing my resume makes for a really long and boring work day.

Sploosh

2005-12-08T11:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday in a completely relaxed moment during my massage appointment, I felt the baby move. I just laid there, unable to believe that I finally FELT the baby MOVE!

My RMT noticed my complete silence, I had been chatting her ear off for the last 20 minutes... it took me a few seconds to convey to her what had happened.

It was not a twinge, a pull, or a flutter. It felt like how submerging something in water feels. Sploosh! So weird.

When I got home and told Jason, I felt a little guilty. This is something that only I am going to experience, how can my description of the feeling compare to the actual feeling? Oddly enough, I feel like I am the luckier one in this undertaking.

I know that only I am going to feel the heaviness of this baby growing inside me, the pain in my hips and back, the constant pressure on my bladder. The heartburn, the fatique, the breathlessness... all those things are reserved for me and only me.

But I still feel like we women are blessed.

Later that night, we laid in bed and Jason had his hand on my belly. I figured out that I need to relax completely to discern the feeling of the baby moving from the other movements of my body. After a few minutes, we both felt the baby hit Jason's palm. Very cool.

I hope I still feel so blessed when this baby is kicking me full force in the rib cage, or performing jumping jacks on my bladder. When I'm nearly 4ft around and still only 5ft tall, I hope I still feel good enough to walk the dog, swim and do yoga. I hope the elastic band that I've threaded through the buttonhole and around the button of my jeans doesn't snap today. I hope that I don't accidentally pee myself in the middle of teaching my yoga class next week, or expel gas loudly at the lunchroom table, or anywhere that Bella will not be there to blame.

With each day I find that there are more and more "what if's" and "I hope's" and "maybe's" in pregnancy. I've never been so full of questions and uncertainty in my life, but somehow it feels good.

Baby meets World

2005-11-29T13:48:00.000-08:00

A few weeks back, Jason and I went for our 18-week ultrasound. Talk about amazing, we had no idea what a treat we were in for! Usually you see people's pictures and you think that they simply walked in, snap snap snap, and the pics were done. Not at all!

Anybody out there?

While taking measurements of the four chambers of the heart, the kidneys and stomach, the femur, foot and humerus, the technician explained to us how they also measure the skinfold at the back of the neck in utero to use as a marker for Down's Syndrome. She also did close-ups of the lips and nose to make sure there was no cleft palate in the wee monkey. We found out the baby measured 15cm around the head (even saw the cerebellum and brain hemispheres) and 14cm around the chest. The spine and ribcage was a thing of beauty, all systems normal.

Flex!

Jason and I had both agreed that if anything negative were to come of a result of my bloodwork or the ultrasound, that we would not terminate the pregnancy. I am so glad that we came to that agreement so easily, I can imagine how horrible it would be if a couple did not see eye to eye on the issue. Especially considering how many false positives there are for screening tests for Down's and Spina Bifida, so much stress and emotional upheaval. It almost caused me to not want the screening done in the first place, but Jason and I both agreed that we would want to be prepared.

Luckily, we have been blessed with a healthy baby as far as we know. It was a huge relief to see the monkey moving about, opening and closing it's mouth and hands. And the sex? Well, we didn't plan on asking. Jason didn't want to know and I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret if I found out! But once we got in there, Jason said, "We can't see anything! Does that mean it's a girl???" To which the technician answered, "At this point, we can't really say for certain."

So I still think it's a boy and Jason is convinced it's a girl. Good thing we have names picked out for both!

Yup, that's the foot! 2.57cm

As of today, I am in the middle of my 20th week, halfway through! 15lbs, 2 cup sizes and a wealth of new-found back and hip issues, but feeling pretty damn lucky.

No Rest for the Wicked

2005-11-28T12:55:00.000-08:00

This last weekend passed by in a blur. Both mornings, Jason and I awoke to the ever-present call of renovations. This weekend, our friend Jeff's wife was out of town with their newborn. Lucky for us, he's an experienced renovator, construction dude and all around nice guy with an extensive electrical knowledge. He offered up his services and we couldn't refuse!

Our neighbour Neil also joined the fray to battle the evils lurking within the walls of our downstairs. We ripped out shoddy aluminum wiring, separated the downstairs and upstairs circuits, and reran new copper wiring, installing new services up to the new electrical codes.

Coming from a family of plumbers, I know how valuable good tradespeople are... after this weekend I have a whole new respect. I also learned a lot in the process. Being the only pregnant lady on the job, I learned all the codes for planning circuits, stapling wires, running lines, wiring the different box types and tying pigtails. By the pain in my lower back, I think I probably shouldn't have spent so much time on the ladder, or bending down. But it's hard not to caught up in things when there's so much going on!

I also fed the workforce - hungry men make for full lunch tables!

I think we have one more day of wiring left before we need to get the inspectors in. Hopefully getting our new 100A service to the house and the fuse box installed will be a go.

In the meantime, we had our first real frost this morning and there is NO insulation in the outside walls downstairs. I can feel the gas bill quadrupling as I type this. We have to wait for an inspection before we can insulate though, silly rules.

So if anyone is looking for something to do in the next little while, please visit! We can offer yummy lunch, dinner and beer in exchange for your services!!

Did you know?

2005-11-18T13:43:00.000-08:00

My uterus is the size of a canteloupe right now.

A canteloupe!!!

Very cool, but SO WEIRD.

A canteloupe on my bladder.

A canteloupe preventing me from buttoning my jeans.

A canteloupe holding a 5oz, 5.5" monkey.

A canteloupe that contracts into a rock-hard lump when the monkey is turning somersaults.

Pregnancy is just plain crazy.

Bawlerama

2005-11-17T11:50:00.000-08:00

Today can definitely be categorized as one of those days they write about in the pregnancy books...

you know, the one that starts at 3am, where you wake up crying because you had a nasty but painfully realistic dream that your husband died doing electrical work during your renovations and you have to explain to his dog and his unborn child that he's gone forever...

and then after tossing and turning for hours after, you wake up looking like hell, then complain about the baby causing acne on your back and pain in your hips, about how you only have one pair of maternity pants that fit and that you can't do up the button on any others...

and then during your dog walk you realize how awful you must sound to your husband, and that somehow every woman who cannot get pregnant knows what you are thinking and then you start crying because you are so lucky and you should be enjoying and rejoicing in each and every aspect of pregnancy be it carpal tunnel or hemorroids (which I don't have yet, BTW)...

then you get to work (late - from the crying) and you talk to your co-worker whose mom just passed away, and she talks about how things seem so unreal because she was just playing Scrabble with her mom only days ago, and then you start crying with her in her office because it is so horrible, and then your director walks in....

and then you write an email to your husband telling him you forgot to give him a phone message last night, but then you realize that you are a horrible wife because you also forgot to buy bread, ask him about his midterm, complain if his armpits aren't fresh enough or if his breath smells like meat (don't ask) and then start crying in your cubicle...

and then you blog about it and realize how truly pathetic you sound!!!!

And now before I go buy a sandwich for lunch (remember, I forgot to buy bread?) I need to visit the bathroom because one of my co-workers just visited my desk and basically ran away. I think my bright red nose and bloodshot eyes are a bit scary!

...

Just back from the caf. I saw a man wearing leather pants going into one of the offices... since when do engineers wear leather pants???

Naked Bellybutton

2005-11-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

For the first time in almost 10 years, I have a naked bellybutton! Last night, after an hour of contemplating my navel, I decided it was time to remove the ring that was swimming in the tea cup that has become my bellybutton.

It's so weird to think about where I was when I pierced my navel. Second-year university, keeping up with my big sister, wearing midriff-baring tops out to the cheesy bars, dancing on speakers, fueled by vodka and cranberry.

So weird how times change. It doesn't seem like that long ago. I remember the haze of a bad hangover from margaritas at Carlos n' Buds, followed by a night at LuvAffair.

This Saturday I spent the day wedding-dress shopping with my girlfriend Jen. This bride-to-be was one of my favorite partners in crime. When we lived together, she would put cold cloths on my forehead to tame a nasty hangover headache, and then run to Macdonald's to get us an Egg McMuffin meal just before the breakfast deadline. It's no surprise that she makes such a great nurse! We used to come home after the bar and eat natchos while watching our newly-taped episodes of Sex and the City. We used to throw martini soirées, dress up for Disco Night at the Commodore, and invite our girlfriends over for sex toy parties. We used to wash our cars outside our apartment in Kits, always talking about starting a business called "Clean Cars, Dirty Girls"...

Now we talk about mortgage rates, maternity leave and snow tires.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I love my husband, our dog and the little baby that's growing increasingly larger inside me each day. I love the security and stability Jason and I both feel in our relationship, even when things aren't so secure or stable outside our relationship. And I feel fortunate that I am loved by others as much as I love them.

But it's weird how removing a little piece of jewellery can feel like the end of an era, even though that era has been over for quite some time.

I feel so grown up.

Bella, a.k.a. Lunchroom Bully

2005-10-31T14:14:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was a doozy... a breakfast and three parties on Saturday, followed by a baby shower and a dinner on Sunday. Somehow I snuck in a house clean-up on Sunday morning, while Jason was at the library like a good little school-goer. I even managed to make a large casserole dish of one of my favorite veggie-head meals - Tofu, Quinoa & Chickpea Enchiladas - to feed us at lunchtime for the week.

So there it was, sitting innocently on top of the stove to cool. No animal products in there, no siree bob! Just some beans and grains and such. A little mexican-flavoured Ground Round. No meat, no blood. Not a moo or cluck in sight!

As Jason and I drove away from the house that afternoon, I remarked that we had left the casserole sitting on the stove. Maybe Bella-girl would be entranced by the smells? Jason figured that we wouldn't be gone long, and that Bella's position of sacked-out-on-the-couch would remain a constant until we returned. As there was nothing in the dish to attract Bella's roving nose, I agreed and we happily sped off.

Well, nothing but a fine smattering of cheese along the top...

As the hours passed, Jason and I both started to get a little nervous. Bella's nap would surely be over by now, and the casserole's position on the stovetop became more and more perilous.

We walked through the front door to the sight of Bella perched on her chair. Ears pinned back. Head waaaay down. No tail thumping against the cushion. The guilt was so apparent in her big brown eyes, it was almost laughable.

Laughable if I weren't counting on that casserole for my lunch this week! Never, ever steal food from a pregnant lady!

Upon immediate survey of the kitchen, it seemed that Bella had eaten the entire 9x13" casserole right off the stovetop. Well, save the chickpeas that she thoughtfully spat out on the floor for us to have... while she might like tofu and cheese, it seems that chickpeas are not part of our little glutton's food reperatoire!

Jason quickly dragged all 60lbs of her by the scruff of the neck into the kitchen, Bella pushing with her front paws against the floor to try stopping him. She hung limply at his side as he berated her amidst the rejected chickpeas. Bad Dog!

Both of us were suppressing giggles the entire time, as Bella cowered at our feet, feeling shame, looking up at us with her big brown eyes.

Her tummy was so distended, we knew we'd have to take her with us to our dinner date in fear of leaving her at home. All that fiber, what if she needed to go outside? Every once in a while, she'd let out a nasty mexican-flavoured burp. Yikes.

I sat on the couch not 10 minutes later, and she sidled up beside me and placed her head on my lap with her puppydog eyes. She was still feeling shame. How could I resist, she's so cute???? I petted her little head.

It's occurred to me that Jason will more likely be a successful disciplinarian than I with our children. I crack so easy.

He lasted at least 3 minutes longer than I.

The funny thing is, people talk about dogs not having any long-term memory. I think it's BS. I know that days later I could pull out the dirty casserole dish and Bella would drop to the ground with her ears pinned back, immediately reliving the shame. How many kids do you know that are so well-trained? Tee hee.

Plumber's Crack

2005-10-28T11:31:00.000-07:00

I come from a line of plumbers... my grandpa, dad and brother are all plumbers, and although they all have skinny little bums, none of them were ever a victim of the ubiquitous plumber's crack.

I, however, am not so lucky. Now close to 16 weeks, my belly has made the leap over the low waist of my jeans. As the day wears on, my belly pushes down the front of my pants, which in turn brings the butt of my pants along for the ride. Tah-DAH! Plumber's crack!

How come none of the pregnancy books talk about this?

In other news, Halloween is just around the corner! So yesterday, I took a field trip to Dressew to get materials for Jason's and my costumes... we're going to be VAMPirates, because just being pirates is not enough! So I spent hours huddled over my sewing maching in between bouts of swearing and stomping my feet to get our costumes just right.

I am a bit of a stickler for details and like my costumes to be perfect. Jason humoured me, trying on his breezy lace-up pirate shirt on a bazillion times as I pinned, tucked and cut. I'm glad that he is as into dressing up as I am! Oh wait, that didn't come out right... I mean for HALLOWEEN of course! Pervert.

Seriously though, last year we ran the James Cunningham Seawall race in costume. I was the Little Bad Wolf and Jason was Big Red Riding Hood! Jason got the most cat-calls for running in drag, he even went to the trouble of shaving his legs and wearing a stuffed bra with little carrot nubs for nipples! It was a little chilly out, after all!

Big Red Riding Hood and the Little Bad Wolf post-race, 2004...

2005 pictures to come.

Arrrr, matey! Bwah-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaa!

Identity Crisis!

2005-10-20T13:53:00.000-07:00

Who knew a name change could be so dramatic?

Last night my company changed my email address without notifying me... nor did they alias my old account to the new one. All morning I've been receiving phonecalls from people that had mails bounced back and are desperate to get in touch with me for various reasons - in need of a spin sub, problems with my code, etc. etc. So my morning has been a whirlwind of phonecalls and password prompts to get myself reinstated as myself!

Crazy.

So I sent out an email to my contacts list asking people to change my address. All of a sudden I get a flood of catch-up emails... People I haven't heard from in AGES want to get together for lunch, sending me pictures of their new kitten, feeding me gossip about who's together, who's apart and who's pregnant... so much to catch up on!

It's 2:00pm and I haven't got a lick of work done. Not that I'm so sad or anything, I'm a veritable fountain of information after this morning's email readings!

AND I've lined up someone to take over my yoga class at the YWCA starting in November. In the last few weeks, my balance has become atrocious and my right hand gets really sore after class. My spin class also wraps up on November 15th. For the first time in FIVE years, I will not be teaching anything outside of subbing classes. What will I do with myself? Go to classes for fun? Actually use my complimentary YWCA membership? The possibilities are endless...

In the meantime:

JC: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

LS: Good luck with your million errands before takeoff... come visit me for a latté!

JVDZ: Renos suck. I hope your life returns to normal soon in your beautiful Silver Sage bathroom!

AJ: Hope you are doing well, looking forward to Sunday!

CC: BLOG! You know you wanna...

One Way Conversation

2005-10-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

Since the wedding, Jason and I have been super busy - honeymoon, Ironman, renovations, pregnancy... In the meantime, I've been struggling to keep in touch with all of my friends, people that I would usually have a once-a-week talk with, a coffee or dinner with, even if it was only an email back and forth.

But life is what happens when you're making plans, and things just seem to get in the way. Over the past few days, I've managed to reconnect with a few of my girlfriends and it feels like I'm doing all the asking... finding out what's new, what's happening, who's hot and who's not...

Why are they so silent? Because they all read my blog!!!! They already know what's going on from my end!

NO FAIR!

So I'm making a rule for AJ, LS, JC, JVDZ, CC and JF... if you read this, you must COMMENT and tell me what's going on with you! That way we can get the one-way third degree out of the way and get straight to the juicy stuff!

In other news, the downstairs is almost completely demolished and the upstairs is coated in a fine layer of dust. Shades of grey. But things are happening quickly now and Jason has assured my worried pregnant self that NO, we're not crazy for doing this and YES, we should be finished in time for the arrival of baby Camp.

Did I mention we found Stucco underneath the Gyproc?

And the wiring downstairs is aluminum, which needs to be changed to copper... MORE WORK!

We've also decided on a few possible names for our monkey but are refraining from telling anyone. It's driving my sister-in-law crazy! Good fun! (and no, one of them is NOT Wyatt Earp!)

My girlfriend Jen is getting married and has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids - she gave a killer speech at my wedding and I'm hoping to do just as well... better start now!

And lastly, the pain through my hand I was feeling last week has dissipated and I'm able to work comfortably. I have to be super careful with teaching yoga and spin though, and also with doing work downstairs.

Speaking of symptoms...

2005-10-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

Guess how common Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is in pregnant women?

How about computer programmers?

So, as a pregnant computer programmer, you can imagine my horror to wake up yesterday morning with my right (dominant) hand cycling through various stages of numbness, tingling and burning! It felt much like I hit my funny bone, but in my wrist and the palm of my hand for hours on end.

At first I thought I overdid it teaching yoga the day prior, or maybe slept funny - I'm trying to switch from sleeping on my back. I made an appointment with my trusty RMT, to release tension in my shoulders that I thought was the culprit. After ridding my upper body of said tension with her deft hands, she told me to sleep on things and if I was still experiencing the numbness, to go to my physio.

I spent a restless night (sorry Jason!) of tossing, turning and propping my hand up to ease the aching, unsuccessfully. If flames could shoot from my wrist, they would - Spiderwoman with Flamethrowers!

So off to the physio. More prodding, twisting and turning. Nothing was working. He says CTS and the hackles on the back of my neck go up. CTS is to a programmer what an knee injury is to an athlete. Game over!

Fortunately this type of symptom usually goes away after delivery, when I will no longer be retaining fluid or having crazy levels of hormones running rampant through my body. But I still have months of work left. What to do?

I'll take sore boobs and nausea anyday, thankyouverymuch!

Just call me "Busty"

2005-10-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

Each morning I wake up and it seems as though there is something new waiting for me. The first trimester brought

* Seemingly walnut-sized bladder

* Nausea

* Creaks, cramps and groans from my round ligaments and uterus expanding

* Lightheadedness if I get out of bed too quickly (increase in stroke volume requirements without the increased blood volume to match)

* Fatigue

The second trimester has brought

* GIANT boobs

Normally I would not be one to complain about such a thing. In fact, I've looked forward to this part of the pregnancy - finally I can show off some cleavage! All my life I've wondered what life was like on the "other-side". The women in my immediate family all belong to the "Small-Breasted Women have Big Hearts" fan club. We can cavort freely sans brassiere, not a care in the world.

Not so any longer. The last few days I've woken up with these mounds on my chest - it seems they are alive with the network of blue veins that runs like a map across my chest. They are puffy and sore and heavy, not at all what I was expecting or hoping for!

Immediate thoughts are along the lines of

"WHAT ARE THESE?"

"WHOSE ARE THESE???"

"DON'T TOUCH THEM!!!"

Okay, maybe GIANT is an overstatement. But it's all relative for me and my girls. As far as I'm concerned, they're GIANT.

Drunk on Hormones

2005-10-11T10:26:00.000-07:00

Today I'm enjoying a morning working from home. A steaming pot of Earl Grey (with honey, which I'm not allowed!), an extra-long ball-hucking session with Bella Girl, cuddling with my hubby before he goes off to the bus stop. I could get used to this!

Can't wait for mat leave...

I have decided that if the first trimester was all about the Paunch, then the second trimester will be all about the hormones. Over the past few weeks, I have noticed myself getting clumsier and clumsier. I just smacked my forehead on Jason's easel while bending down to scratch my ankle. I tripped and fell on the dog leash down at the park, in front of 3 other dog owners. I break things.

Not only that, while at the numerous Thanksgiving dinners over this past weekend, some of the stuff that's come out of my mouth has been downright obnoxious! Sometimes funny, sometimes too blunt, I just keep sticking my foot in my mouth. Jason called it my "Pregnant Voice"... a.k.a. my "SHUT-UP!!! Voice".

I think I'm drunk. Drunk on hormones.

At the midwife's last week, I had to do a weigh-in. I've gained 8 pounds! I seriously thought the scale was broken!!! This is the most I've ever weighed in my entire life, so weird. I even had to buy a new bra the other day, which I was slightly proud about I have to admit! They've moved my due date back a week, to April 25th. A Taurus. Jason scoffs at my belief in astrology, but I have no doubt that this baby is gonna be stubborn! In any event, I can now feel my uterus bump, and I have no waistline left.

Monkey taking over my Waistline

In other news, Dozer's owner has returned (and the crowds cheered!) and things around Chez Camp have returned to normal. No more wet toilet seat, no more kibbles in the bedroom, and Queen Bella has been reseated on the throne.

Bella's Rightful Spot on the Throne

I have 2 yoga classes to teach today, so I'm off! How much longer before I can no longer do the Cobra?

Dogs of War

2005-10-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

For the past two weeks, we have been dog-sitting for our next-door neighbour. Dozer has made himself at home. He is male, and therefore insists on usurping the resident Bella from her throne at Chez Camp. Not much we can do about it, unless we leave him next door - in which case he howls and howls.

So he eats all the food before Bella gets there. This includes holding kibble in his mouth, transporting it to other locations in the house, and then proceeding to drop the kibbles wherever he pleases. If you go to the bathroom and flush the toilet, he rushes in after to drink from the fresh, cold porcelain water decanter. If you shut the lid, he just sticks his head under it. Either way, the next visitor gets a wet seat. Lastly, he's been digging in our back yard and tracking the mud everywhere when he comes in. Gr.

BAD HOUSEGUEST!

Bella is getting a bit sick of him because he's cramping her style. Usually I can take her for off-leash ball-hucking before work. I can't let Dozer off-leash since he takes off and refuses to come back. So poor Bella just gets lame walks around the block. Poor little whiney doggy.

Dozer stealing Bella's favourite spot by the Window

Bella hiding from Dozer (and keeping my feet warm) as I work from home

Baby's Got a Brand New Bag!

2005-09-30T11:41:00.000-07:00

The last few of mornings, I've actually been able to get out of bed without being coaxed by nausea to the bathroom, or by dogs that need to go outside. For the most part, I can eat normal foods at normal mealtimes without hanging my head from dizziness in between.

Something is changing. I think I might have finally kicked the fatigue and nausea of my first trimester! I don't want to jinx it by saying so. Often I've thought that I've turned a corner, only to find it come back with a vengeance! It seems too good to be true... but I am in week 12.

My activity level has been climbing. Yesterday I was able to do 15 minutes on the elliptical machine and another 30 minutes of weights! This morning I swam - albeit leisurely - for 40 minutes! For the first time in MONTHS. Yes, I had to use flippers and pull buoys, but I was a fish!

I'm trying not to overdo it, limiting myself to really low resistance and exertion, and putting a time limit on workouts. I've been reading the CanFitPro course work for perinatal exercise. I ply my body with food on each end of whatever activity I partake in, today I am the eating machine! And I drink WATER WATER WATER, wear a heart rate monitor and make sure to keep my core temperature low. High-maintenance, yes. But GOOD.

I'm loving this new phase. It's a lot of work to do so much less than I used to do, but I just love being active again. I'm even buying an indoor trainer for my bike because I miss it so badly.

I can't wait till I'm really showing. Bring on the real belly. I'm ready to show.

Spotted!

2005-09-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

I was out on Saturday night at an art show held by one of Jason's friends. Jay held it in his ultra-hip studio in East Van, where there were interpretive dancers, musicians and singers performing for an ecclectic mix of students, fellow artists, friends and family. The proceeds of the show were going to the BC Cancer Agency. The pieces he had done - the theme was "Move" - were amazing. Collages of pencil-drawn people in close proximity, to make profiles, shapes... very unique and cool.

As I walked up the stairs to say hello to Andrea and Matt, I heard "Hey Tri Girl!" from below... I was like HUH??? I look down and see Tamara a.k.a The Straight Poop), although it took me a second to line up my planets! We've never actually met!

I talked to her through the stairs briefly and said I'd be back. Little did I know that my nausea would make a guest appearance! Throughout the performance of Peter, one of the interpretive dancers, my stomach was churning and my goosebumps rose and fell. Not good! So I stayed put. When I was feeling better, I looked down below, but could not spot the fair-haired Tamara! Crap!

Alas, another time?

A note on the interpretive dancers... I don't think I'm cultured enough to appreciate it. Before Peter started, he was standing in a blanket wrapped loosely about his 60-something naked, tattooed and bejewelled body. I remember thinking "If he's not careful, that robe is going to fall off!" But then he let it drop to the floor. I'm no prude, I like to hang at Wreck and be naked too. But it was kinda weird because he was all by himself. Anyhow he did some chanting and huffing and puffing and sounding to accompany his erratic movements. I was trying to see a pattern or meaning to it (i.e. interpret!) but my brain was stuck in choreography-mode. It was lost on me. Sigh.

The Monkey in my Belly

2005-09-23T08:06:00.000-07:00

Jason and I went for our very first ultrasound yesterday and both of us agreed that we had never seen anything cooler! Seeing the baby's heart beating was not only amazing, it was also very reassuring to see that our little monkey (or MING-KEE! according to Jason) is OK.

The ultrasound technician was great, pointing out the yolk sac, umbilical cord (which we think is really our monkey's tail) and my ovaries. She even showed Jason how my near-to-bursting bladder was filling even more as she pressed down on it (&#$^%#!!!) The baby even moved around - I knew that it was trampolining off my bladder!

Frontal, our little monkey - see the tail?

Side - monkey with balloon (or yolk sac, one of the two)

Afterwards I wandered around Kits inside all the baby stores. It felt alot like when I went wedding dress shopping. I quickly realized that I have NO IDEA what I'm doing and that I would either need to be showing more, or have a squalling infant in a stroller in order to get any attention! But there is lots of time for all of that.

Right now I'm content with the knowledge that the little monkey in my belly is developing normally and growing strong with a heart rate of 163 BPM.

I've been getting bugged about not sending out any belly shots yet, so I took one this morning in front of the mirror!

Belly this AM

Iron-Hubby

2005-09-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, my husband Jason completed his first-ever Ironman triathlon competition! Not only was I lucky enough to be his cheerleader through the entire race, I was also inspired and amazed by the athleticism, confidence and sheer mental and physical power displayed by all 82 of the participants.

I've never been at a race with Jason where I wasn't competing. I thought I would have time on my hands to knit and read... not a chance! From the moment I saw Jason in the water, I could feel my heart in my throat and my nervous energy rising. I was sweating and my heartrate was up because I had an inkling of the thoughts that were racing through his head at the start line. My hubby is a cool cucumber, it takes quite a lot to ruffle his feathers. But I think this race might have gotten under his skin just a little!

It all started the night before, when we pulled into Grand Coulee, WA. We passed the giant dam - which Jason would ride over at the completion of the bike course - and took in the topography. Mesas loomed up high over the Columbia River. The first part of the bike course was a climb up to a mesa summit... we're talking 7% and 14% grades - a 900ft elevation gain - in a matter of kilometers. Hairpin turns, newly sealed black concrete... if you stopped for any reason, you would probably have to get off your bike and walk since even the granniest of gears would fail you. Seeing this was a bit intimidating to say the least!

Soon after we dropped Jason's bike off at T1, and went to our homestay, Dawn and Alan. They had left their doors unlocked (!) for us, with a room all made up and instructions to "make ourselves at home". Fantastic and very interesting people. We had no trouble eating a high-carb dinner and heading to bed.

5:00am wakeup and off to T1. It's dark out still and the air is cool. Jason puts his transition and special needs bags in the allocated space and then goes for body marking. Contemplation of the swim course begins while the race volunteers are suiting up for their kayaks...

Pre-race jitters - suiting up!

As the athletes line up for the swim, I am struck by the amount of older people in the race. There is a single 19yr-old, with everyone else between 30-60ish. So impressive. Seasoned vets and first-timers together, milling about. Talking about the course, getting through the last-minute jitters. They are lining up as the sun is rising over the mesas - so gorgeous!

Iron-wave in the Sunrise

And they're off! I struggle to see the grey of Jason's inner sleeve in the sea of black wetsuits and white caps. It's not until the finish of the first 1.9km loop that I spot him. Only because he stood up at the turn-buoy and yells out his number "32" with his hands cupped around his mouth (race officials said they had to, although Jason was the only one to do it! So cute!)

As he exits the water, I can see the smile on his face and a relaxed pace to his breathing, yay!! That was exactly how he had hoped to feel. As a joke, he kneels down on the sand to kiss the ground - the crowd laughs. Steve King, the announcer, talks about Jason's other races and even says my name as Jason comes up to kiss me (a la sand-face).

Sand-face (which he soon bestowed on me with a kiss)

T1 goes smoothly with a full clothing change and a kiss goodbye. He is all smiles and looking strong!

All Smiles in T1

I realize that I have 7 hours to kill, so stay to watch the rest of the Iron distance swim. One woman comes in at 2:17, 3 minutes before the 2:20 cutoff. People are screaming and cheering and going berserk! The Half-Iron starts and I am a little sad that I'm not doing the race... but then I rub my tummy and think about the little monkey inside and all is well. After cheering all the athletes out of T1, I head back to the homestay to chart out where I could meet up with the cyclists.

Zipping off in the car backwards along the bike course, I come across the most amazing scenery - a feast for the eyes! So I snap a few shots... okay, maybe more like 50. But who's counting? I know Jason will be happy to see them later.

Cheerleader Scenery Shot #1 on the Bike Course

#2

#3

#4 - Talk about deserted bike course!

Finally I see the first cyclist coming in and I realize how deserted the road is, so I slow the car right down, roll down the window and yell my little head off! The cyclist gives me a big smile and wave, I think he needed a little company! So I continue to cheer as I drive and pass other cyclists. My throat is getting raw and my heart rate is racing, not to mention my driving skill suffering! So I see Jason and loop around him, then race ahead and get out. As he's coming up the road, I whip my shirt up and flash my pregnant-lady boobs at him! Big smile! I snap a shot as he passes.

Jason on the bike course...

I continue to follow along for a bit, rolling down the window and telling him about upcoming hills and whatnot. He seems pretty relaxed and full of energy! Eventually I leave him and continue to hoot and holler at cyclists close to T2. I can see their names on their race bibs now and make sure to use them. Some are mystified as to how I know their names! Fun!

Getting back to T2, I recognize other cheerleaders who have loved ones in the race. We swap stories and help cheer for other moms, dads and kids in the race. So fun! I meet one woman, Margaret, who's husband Jerry has completed 13 Ironman races! In the last race, he had a heart attack in the water... this was his first race since, at 62! I had just found out that Jerry was the person that wiped out in front of Jason on the bike course, but I knew he was okay and so kept the info to myself, as not to worry Margaret.

Jason sailed into T2 and took off after a ham sandwich and a kiss. Still smiling and strong, if not a little salty! I ask him if it feels like a 4hr marathon and he laughs and says, "MMMmm, no. More like a 5".

Exit from T2 - Look at those Pipes!

Much much later, when it's dark and cold and quiet, Margaret and I and a few others are on a bridge, shining a spotlight down to the riverside where the athletes are completing their marathon. I can't see Jason and have NO idea where he is or how he is doing. It's been 13 hours and I'm getting keyed up. I know the women in the first aid tent by now and know he is okay, but my heart is still racing.

Finally I see a pair of blue shorts. We had been asking everyone their names and numbers to cheer them on. I hear "32" and I yell "IS THAT MY HUSBAND??????" as I race down the hillside to meet him. It's been over 5 hours and he is TIRED. He's got blinders on, a bit of small talk but not much of a conversationalist!

Tail-end of the Run - can you see the salt on his shirt?

After 14:47, Jason has completed his first Ironman! I am so proud of him, I could cry (and almost do). He's covered in white salt, a little glazed over and crampy, but mostly okay. No blisters, no scrapes or broken parts... amazing!

He insists on going down to talk to Margaret to tell her about Jerry, and that he has seen him completing the run course! You can see the relief in Margaret's face and she thanks him profusely. I'm so happy to be married to this thoughtful man!

Tired

2005-09-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

For days I've wanted to blog about my husband's phenomenal performance in his Ironman race over the past weekend. I've wanted to paint my nails, go for a swim, respond to my tag from Tamara and finish the freaking thankyou cards to our wedding guests (as it's been a month and they are WAY overdue!!!)

But I can't. I have no time. I'm exhausted. I teach after work, then get home just in time to shovel some food down my throat and go to bed.

I need sleep like I've never needed sleep before and it's eluding me. I wake up four times to pee, my stomach gurgles at 3am for a banana with such regularity that I fear I might be giving birth to a monkey. I crawl into bed at 9:30pm and can barely drag myself out at 7:37am.

Right now we are taking care of our next-door neighbour's 105lb Rottweiler. Bella's boyfriend, Dozer. He is aptly named. When I have food, he is there. When I'm trying to get into a cupboard, he's in the way. He drools, he drinks loudly from the toilet. He makes a mess of the food dish when he eats, so that at on my 3am banana-run to the kitchen, I step on dog food kibbles in my bare feet and have to stifle a loud swearing episode. When he paces the hardwood floors at night, I can hear his claws click-clacking along until he finally settles heavily to the floor and lets out a huge sigh. He repeats this over and over again. His owner allows him to sleep in the bed with him, and I am sorely tempted to do the same just to get some shuteye.

Last night we closed the door to our room, which I felt horrible about. This was at 2am when I entered into a brief crying fit because I couldn't sleep. Poor Jason rubbed my back sleepily, my having woken him from restful slumber.

Don't get me wrong. Dozer is a sweetheart. A meathead, yes, but a sweetie. But Bella is so dainty and quiet and slobber-free and I've become so accustomed to her ladylike dog behaviour.

I feel like crawling underneath my desk right now and taking a nap.

Attention Naughty Pregnant Ladies

2005-09-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

What the hell? Jason and I just returned from grocery shopping and I feel shame.

All the pregnant ladies that I know have glowing skin and bright shiny teeth. They are buff, they paddle dragon boats, they work full days without nodding off and can get out of bed before 7:37am. They eat spinach and couscous salads with chickpeas, alongside some calcium-fortified soy milk.

Me?

I crave Kraft Dinner and chocolate milk. In fact, I just bought exactly that and have a big frothy glass of chocolate milk in front of me as I type this.

I haven't eaten like this since my university days, when I couldn't afford much better. Usually I eat avocados and nuts and all things healthy. Now I eat toast with jam and butter.

Why can't I talk to some naughty pregnant ladies? You know, the ones that eat stacks of natchos for dinner, like I did last night after a round of pitch n' putt with my beer-swilling co-workers. What about the ones that have secret stashes of cinnamon buns (Mmmmm, baby likes cinnamon buns). Baked potatoes slathered in butter and salt - I'm salivating just thinking about it.

Jason tries so hard to stock the fridge with healthy things - bright green and red produce, smoothie ingredients, chicken and fish... Instead this baby is a carb fanatic and is turning me into BreadGirl.

I am taking my vitamins and drinking lots of water. I'm teaching yoga and spin classes. I even count my calcium intake! But the leafy greens are no longer calling my name.

Off to the kitchen to whip up some macaroni and cheese. That bright orange powder is healthy, right? What if I sprinkle protein powder on it? Flax seed oil instead of butter? Screw it. Baby likes KD.

Downstairs Demolition

2005-09-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

It's the end of an era.

Yesterday, Rod moved out.

Rod is Jason's brother-in-law (Ang's brother) and had been living in the downstairs basement suite since Jason and Angie bought their house in 2002. Although Rod helped out with the mortgage, I know that is not the main reason he was there. Jason not-so-secretly enjoyed being able to help out his new family member and welcomed the chance to get to know his new 'bro a little bit more.

Throughout Jason and Angie's marriage, there was an understanding that if Angie were to get pregnant, that Rod would move out to make room for baby. But Ang never got pregnant, and so Rod stayed. After Ang died, Rod stayed. And when Jason asked me to move in, he stayed. In fact, that was something I always worried about - that he would not be comfortable with me in the house instead of his sister. But Rod is a stand-up guy and was totally okay with the whole situation, and so we all lived together in the house - dogs and kitties abound. BBQs were shared, beers were had, his new girlfriend was welcomed into the fray...

His being there has also helped Jason see Faye & David and Larry & Mary, Ang's parents, more than he would have otherwise since they come to visit Rod every so often. I like to think that if Jason were to invite Larry or Faye over for a visit now that Rod is gone, that they would still feel comfortable enough to stay the night at with us at Chez Camp, or stop by for tea. When Baby Camp comes along, I hope that they treat our little bundle like they would have a child of Ang's. I'm certainly going to encourage the spoiling that I know all grandparents are proud of!

But I guess I won't know how things will be on that front for a while yet.

In the meantime, the downstairs renovations have started at Chez Camp for Project Baby Number One. We started small, by knocking a hole in the wall to see if there was room under the front stairs for a wine cellar... okay, maybe not exclusively baby-related, but interesting nonetheless! To follow will be tearing out the carpets to be replaced by laminate flooring, and ripping down the ceilings to reinsulate & soundproof. The bathroom also needs a complete reno, thankfully my dad and brother are both plumbers! Then the standard painting and whatnot...

There is a lot of work to do, and a 7-month window to do it in, with work and school juggled in the middle. Yikes.

In pregnancy news, my first ultrasound is next week! Ultra-cool!

The nausea is beginning to abate, FINALLY, unless I don't eat something. Like RIGHT AWAY. Sometimes I feel like I need to go barf for a bit, or at least hang out in the can and heave a bit and feel like barfing, but then never actually barf, and just study the tiles on the floor and the toilet seat. Last week, on my walk to work from the bus stop, I had to stop at BCIT to puke (I don't even go to school there) and then again at my own workplace. I even shoved our receptionist out of my way while running up the stairs to make it to the bathroom. Suffice it to say that most people at work are aware of the little alien in my belly.

That's all for now...

Paunch-erelli

2005-09-06T16:13:00.000-07:00

It seems like only yesterday I was flitting about in loose, flowing dresses and skirts, baggy shorts and cottony tank tops. Now the chill of fall is in the air, requiring more confining jeans and sweaters to make their way back into my weekly wardrobe.

Houston, we have a problem. None of my pants fit.

It seems that instead of growing a baby, I am just growing a PAUNCH. I eat enough food for the five babies it feels like I'm carrying, so there really is no wonder. And in reality, I've only gained a few pounds... but for someone used to parading around in spandex a good portion of the time, this is a bit unsettling and weird. My shape is quickly evolving and while my midwife assures me that the annoying transformation from paunch to cute-baby-belly is one felt by all new moms-to-be, I still find it hard to walk past my reflection in the mirror without thinking that I need to hit the gym.

I know this is only the beginning and that soon my waistline will be busting out well beyond the confines of my Britney Spears jeans! But right now nobody at work knows that I'm pregnant. So to them, it just looks like I'm getting fat. I'm only 5'0", it isn't that easy to hide.

So Sunday I went to Old Navy (with every other mom in the GVRD, it seems) and bought some loooong layered T's, and some pants too, two sizes bigger than normal. If it doesn't hide my new inches, at least I am in style, which is more than can be said for me most of the time!

Amazingly Talented Friends

2005-09-03T07:21:00.000-07:00

I don't mean to brag, but I can't help it! Jason and I are extremely lucky to have an amazingly talented set of friends. For our wedding, we decided against registering for gifts, instead asking for people to showcase their talents by making us something, or for little donations to our House Reno Fund (a.k.a. make room for baby!!!). We appreciated all of the thoughtfulness and generosity that went into our gifts, everything far exceeded any expectations we had had. And the talent behind the handmade gifts! Lo and behold...

Lisa, photographer extraordinaire, has astonished us with her photography talents once again! She emailed me at work this week with the webpage she had put together of our wedding proofs. I didn't get a lick of work done all day! I will post a few of my absolute favorites, but that is not to say there aren't a ton more! BTW, if anyone in the Vancouver area is looking for a fantastic set of wedding photographers, Lisa and Hollie are fab! (These thumbnails are low-res and watermarked...)

Jason and I

Ashley getting kisses from me and sis

Another of Jason and I

Kisses on the Railroad Tracks

Glenn, Lisa, Jenn and Jason V. are putting together our wedding album as a gift (as if we needed more!) and I can't wait to see it! I can almost picture Glenn and Jason V. cutting out ribbons and paper to paste into the book... tee hee! So excited!

And did I tell you about the cake? When planning the wedding, Melina (my new step-mom-in-law) asked me what kind of cake I wanted. I said something simple... she came up with a scrumptious blackberry-lemon cake, stacked 3 tiers high with sugar-paste flowers to match my dress! OMG! Her daughter Mieka and two of her friends helped serve appies and clean up during the reception, and a family friend Norma Jean also gifted us with her kitchen expertise to make sure things ran smoothly. Between these women and JJ, the night went off without a hitch!

The cake!

Greg, one of Jason's family friends from waaaaaaaaay back is a judge. He wrote and performed our ceremony as a gift to us. Such beautiful words he chose. Jason and I had notions of writing our vows but after hearing his, we decided against it. He did a marvelous job!

Judge Greg adds humour!

The night of the wedding, one of my oldest and dearest friends Amanda presented us (quite tearfully!) with the wall hanging she had made us. It's our Triathlon quilt, complete with a picture of us finishing the Half Iron together. SO FAB!

Swim Bike Run Wall Hanging

Our friend Paige gave us some great wines along with a copy of her recently published book (she is a prof at UBC). The inscription read something like "I didn't know what to get you, so I though I'd make something." Very cool.

The day after the wedding, we arrived home to find these planters along the front steps, along with a bench put together for our deck by my brother Jason and his fiancée Kristi. A week later, Andrea and our next door neighbor Neil assembled this great teak table and umbrella set!

Pretty Planters

Patio Furniture and bench

And finally, last night we went to May & Darren's house for a potluck get-together... when we got there, they gave us these gifts out of the blue. May had done some paper work of a picture of our house, styled after Gustav Klimt. Darren, unbeknownst to us as a rock carver, made us this African Love Knot out of soapstone! Beautiful!

Chez Camp a la Klimt

African Love Knot

I have to say something about the speeches that night. Asking people to get up and speak is always a tough one, especially for the shy it can be soooo hard! But the night of our wedding we had the fortune of hearing 5 different speeches, all beautiful, inspired and touching beyond words. Andrea, Karen, Jen, Doug, and Kris all helped to fill the night with thoughts of love, friendship, trust, loyalty and of course, humour!

Andrea gave me a glowing review in her "Toast to the Bride"

Karen regaled us with antics of my childhood in her "Welcome to the Groom"

Jen talked about our car wash idea, "Clean Cars, Dirty Girls"!

Doug's speech about Jason's childhood adventures...

Kris & Steph. Kris raved about my Superman husband

Even Valerie (with younger sis Carmen) got up to tell a joke... Beach Weenies!

Carefree Days of Yesterday

2005-08-31T11:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was riding my bike back to work after teaching an afternoon yoga class. I was relaxed and carefree, still in the afterglow of a peaceful chivasana as I careened down the hill with the remnants of the morning rainfall splashing up my calves and the middle of my back. La-dee-dahhhhh...

All of a sudden, a car climbed up around the hilly corner towards me, going at a good clip. I was turning the corner at the same time, also at good clip. Pumping my brakes lightly so I wouldn't go ass-over-teakettle as I swerved closer to the inside, I could feel my back end start to fishtail out behind me. Panicking, I unclipped from my pedals and proceeded to throw the bike in front of me down the hill! The bike skidded down as I hit the pavement, clear of the passing car.

The bike was fine, and I was fine, mostly. The driver of the car leaned out the window to check on me as I yelled "SAFE!" jokingly. My sacrum had taken a bit of a pounding and my hand and elbow were sore as a result of my FOOSH (Fall-On-Out-Stretched-Hand). No blood, rips or tears were evident, aside from the scrapes on my shiny new wedding band.

But I was shaken, badly. Just the day before I was reading my "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book and I was laughing because it warned against bicycling in traffic or during sub-par weather conditions. I thought "AS IF I'm going to stop biking to work, why don't I just curl up in a corner for the next 7 months?"

But when I sat down and thought about it (on the pavement, hurting and embarassed), I realized that there are some things a little more important than saving bus fare or keeping up my regular routine. And there's nothing lame about ditching my normal training schedule. Hell, I get winded taking the stairs right now.

So this morning I took the bus on a day that I would normally bike. Instead, I'm looking into taking my pre/post-natal specialization in October, which will allow me to teach perinatal classes while I'm perinatal. It just seems like a better fit for my newly-expanding waistline.

The Joys of Motherhood...

2005-08-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

Omigod. If I have to take one more trip to the bathroom this morning, I swear to God I'm going to FREAK OUT. Drink lots of water. Drink lots of milk. Listen to the raindrops slipslop against the window pane.

Peeing for two? Yeah right, it feels like 4 or 5 little guys must be trapped in my uterus, all taking turns bouncing off my bladder. Boing, boing, boing! It's like the Bouncy Castle in there. I visualize them rebounding off my bladder and high-fiving each other as they pass, "That was a good one!", "Nice air!"

I'm going to have to log hours against Pee-Time on my progress report this week. Maybe I can request to have my cubicle moved closer to the washroom? I've considered sleeping in the tub, so my three-times-a-night call of nature requires less of a commute.

How am I going to get through a meeting? A catheter?

Newlyweds... and other news

2005-08-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it's done! We're hitched!

Saturday was amazing. I only have a few pictures from the ceremony so a BIG post will have to wait. That and I have to pack for our honeymoon.

Jason and I got together on an island called Valdes, located in the Gulf Islands between Vancouver Island and the mainland. The cabin, owned by family friends, was one that Jason's family used to visit when they were little kids. Those friends were at the wedding and offered up the use of it for our honeymoon. What could be more perfect and romantic than that?

Our honeymoon destination...

Jason visited Valdes for eight days on his own and didn't see a single soul for the entire time. It is where he decided to ask me to marry him.

I look forward to being deserted on this island for a week with him! I look forward to lying naked on the rocks and soaking up some rays, playing fetch with the dog and doing yoga in the morning sunshine. Jason is taking his paint supplies and me my knitting, we've got a stash of delicious gourmet treats to share and of course some nice wine.

Bella, hanging out beachside...

Alas, no wine for me. I forgot that I haven't told you yet, but I'm pregnant! It's still very very early - going on 7 weeks. But we can't keep it to ourselves, we're so happy! Between Jason, me and our mothers, the entire wedding knew by the end of the night. And we figure if things don't work out, we'd need the support of our friends anyways. But our fingers are crossed and I'm popping my prenatal vitamins with reckless abandon!

Haven't told work yet though. Shhh, mum's the word there!

Crazy timing though. I found out the Monday before the wedding. You see, we had been trying for a few months and I had taken a test the week before and it came out negative. Ladies, you MUST MUST take those tests first thing in the morning! Then I went on my stagette... Anyhow my nurse friends have assured me that I did not harm my baby that early on with my vodka Slurpee, so that is a load off my mind! But the following Monday, things still weren't quite right and I took another. At 5:30am before going to teach my step class, while still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. That little blue + opened 'em pretty quickly!

You can imagine how quickly our wedding took a backseat! Crazy timing indeed.

But we are so so happy!

Three-Ring Circus

2005-08-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

Why did I think that working up to Friday wouldn't be such a big deal?

For the entire week, my work phone has been ringing off the hook. Last minute dress alterations, hair appointments, band meetings, family pow-wows... you name it! Whatever happened to our small simple wedding in the back yard?

So I've decided to take tomorrow and Friday off. Normally I wouldn't feel so guilty about the company paying me to organize my social affairs, but the number of phonecalls and interruptions is really quite astounding. Maybe all the honesty and goodness bestowed upon my future hubby is rubbing off on me?

My sister and mom are coming in tomorrow morning - I can't begin to tell you how excited I am to meet my new little niece! Karen and I have been talking a lot, almost every day now, and it's so weird to hear her talking to Ashley when I still haven't met her! So that is exciting. Then there's the pedicure party tomorrow night and the endless cooking on Friday... so many things to do. Pick up my dress. Get my ring buffed. Get the flowers. Pick up the keg. Chill the wine. The list is crazy.

I'm planning a hotel "care package" for the two of us... lox and bagels with cream cheese for breakfast, grapes and strawberries, maybe mimosas... we're staying at an apartment-hotel on the seawall, so we can have a lush breakfast in bed, then go for a stroll in the morning before we face the hubbub of friends and relatives before they leave town.

It occurred to me. I wonder how many people actually have sex on their wedding nights? Wouldn't you be completely bagged?

Just a thought.

Next week we are planning to go surfing on the Oregon Coast for a week of honeymooning. There is a killer surf spot outside of Cannon Beach called Oswald West - I've camped there twice now and have been so happy. We're taking the dog and our bikes to the walk-in site, then we can do day-trips from there with her, along the gorgeous coastline. So relaxing!

Exciting times! The next time you hear from me, I'll be Mrs. Camp!

Vodka Slurpee - Tales from my Stagette

2005-08-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

It's 4:45pm on a Thursday and I'm sitting in a meeting room with my manager and another senior co-worker. We're in the home stretch of a 3 hr meeting about project plan estimates and I am ready to nod off. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a tall female breeze past the window... it's Lisa! She stands imposingly in front of the window - two big blond ponytails flaring off the top of her head - and taps the glass mouthing the words "WE WANT YOU". My co-workers look up in confusion, but I know that my stagette has just begun.

She pops in - "Are you going to need her much longer?" Setting a giant multi-coloured Slurpee in front of me that she instructs me to start drinking NOW, Lisa saunters back out to wait the 10 minutes requested by my boss. I can now see more of my girlfriends, Annalise and Jenn, milling outside the meeting room - I love that my girlfriends just barge into my workspace and take over, too funny! As the meeting drags on, I take a tentative pull from the Slurpee. EGAD!!!! Can anyone else smell the liquor in this thing? What have they in store for me?

I find out quickly enough. Waiting in my cubicle is an old 70's wedding dress, courtesy of Jenn's mom, complete with a veil and a BAD GIRL wand. A shot glass on beads around my neck, a bib covered in ex-boyfriend's names asking "WHO'S MY DADDY?" and a few candy necklaces and I am ready for action!

Better start drinking the Slurpee. Liquid courage!

Hmmm, where's a great place to get drunk, get guys to eat candy off your neck and have a good time? Why, PLAYLAND, of course!

We get into the park and there are kids and parents everywhere. The greasy carnies that the girls had envisioned devouring candies from my neck were replaced by peach-fuzzed 17yr-olds... luckily there were lots of security guards and such to harass. One nipple-ringed dad was having a little too good a time with the candy part, I think he left marks! The head of security even agreed to handcuff me for a kiss on the cheek. The innocent-looking 16yr-old Karen - "Oh my gosh, you actually brought alcohol to Playland???" - did a wonderful job on my airbrushed Grim Reaper tattoo!

The BAD GIRL wand was a great weapon used to smack bums. Especially after the water bottle I take a swig from is filled with straight vodka. Baaaaaaaaaaaaad Andrea!

The rides were a gas, especially the one Andrea and I went on together. Bumper cars, rollercoasters... the last one left me a little queasy - time to exit the park! Off to Toby's for some good ol' fashioned liquor mixing - Tequila, vodka, Baileys, Sambuca... Andrea passes me a prepackaged shot glass full of unknown candy-coloured liquid, she's got a stash of them in her purse! After a few rounds of natchos, it's decided that I must go back out to the fray and get rid of the rest of my candy necklaces...

The last thing I remember is Jason peeling my contact lenses off my eyeballs close to 1am. I can't believe I'm actually at work today. Good thing I have the Grim Reaper to keep me company, that tattoo sure has staying power!

Advice...

2005-08-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

Here's the scoop.

Jason and I have no "song". A while back, we were sitting in the truck trying to decide what to use for our "first dance" and Jason says (in his best Gene Simmons impersonation) "LIIIIIICK IT UP!"... not a minute later, the song actually came on the radio!

If that isn't a sign, what is?

Not a chance (even though I know the words).

So we decided to use a David Gray song that we both like. Sitting in the truck, we often belt out the lyrics together... or at least what we thought were the lyrics. You see, in this day and age, who looks at CD covers anymore?

What I thought was

"This here's lovin', it'll laaaaaaaaaaaast..."

is actually

"This year's love had better laaaaaaaaaaaast..."

Hmmm, maybe not the best first dance song? But we really like it!

Do you think anyone will notice? The guy has an accent, you can barely tell...

Why I love my friends...

2005-08-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

I am a very lucky girl. A while back I posted about wanting a bridal shower, and how I wasn't really sure if I would have one. My matron of honour (sister Karen) lives in Fort McMurray - a bazillion miles from here - and neither of my two oldest friends, Jen and Amanda, actually live in Vancouver. I didn't honestly think that anyone else would want to put up with the hassle of corralling my assortment of friends for a hen party!

Little did I know that I was to be lucky enough to have four parties... yes, FOUR! One of them is a pedicure party that I put on myself, so my sister and mom would have a chance to meet some of my Vancouver friends a few days before the wedding. But the other three were a complete and delightful surprise!

First of all, the ladies at work - all 12 of us - usually get together for showers, etc. But with our head of HR, "chief party planner", on mat leave, I had my doubts. Last Thursday one of the women had asked me to lunch. As I headed down to her car to meet her, I saw the gaggle of women in the elevator. As I rushed to join, one of them yelled out "It's full!" as they shut the doors! As my spidey senses tingled, I tried to feign ignorance on the drive to a Greek restaurant that Christina's husband had "recommended". Of course as we drove up, I saw Tanya struggling with her crutches to beat me inside the restaurant, so cute! The cat was out of the bag, but I didn't care. I love having the women at work come together for things like this - it's what makes us GIRLS!!! During a great lunch, free of "talking shop", I found out about how Alison is volunteering at a post-partum depression group, about how Fiona's husband published another concerto and saw pictures of Marilou's song graduating high school. Afterwards they gave me a gift certificate for a wonderful spa. Spa visits are something that my practical side rarely lets me enjoy, so I'm going to savour this one!

Secondly, I have a group of ladies that I get together with on a fairly regular basis - Wendy, Lisa and Jenn. We all used to work together and decided, after our office was shut down, that we still wanted to stay in contact. We call ourselves the "Stitch n' Bitchers" since when we started, we were actually supposed to make things during our visits. It never really came out that way - instead we gab and try not to spit food while talking since we are usually filling our faces!

Anyways, the ring-leader Lisa - who is also my wedding photographer - emailed me to set up a Sunday brunch and S&B photo shoot for her portfolio. I had a hunch that something was up when Jason asked for Jenn's (the hostess') number... but I had no idea that waiting for me were 11 of my dearest girlfriends including Amanda, from Victoria, and Kylie, from Calgary. These girls don't even know one another and when I get there, they are chatting like old friends! I was shocked and didn't know quite how to react when I turned around and Jordan and Lisa (from my step class) were standing there, nearly blending into the wall! And Deb, 7 months pregnant coming around the corner with Casey and Wendy... so amazing. Andrea, my future big sis, showed up with delicious mushroom poo-poos and a new friend Rachel in tow, cool!

Photo-chick!

Lisa was snapping photos while we sat around a sumptuous potluck feast and I went around the room telling a little story about each friend. A sweet and caring group, not to mention successful! Stories about triathlon PBs, quilting prowess, world travels, writing marvels, swimming... such an elite collection of women and people that I am proud and lucky to have in my life. Close to the end, they gave me a HUGE gift certificate to spend on shoes (I LOVE SHOES), along with some champagne and a beautiful silver necklace (I'm like a crow, I LOVE SHINY THINGS)... but most cherished of all was a scrapbook that they all contributed a page to. Years worth of memories with Amanda, heartfelt wishes from Jenn and Jordan, Wendy's quilting page, Casey's welcome advice. Even Patti who couldn't be there put a page in.

Lisa's funny poem - that I still can't get through without crying:

"... So next on the list is making a little Camp, and when Callie is running a tri nine months pregnant, she surely will cramp.

So you pace around impatiently as you try and conceive, all you really want is to get that sweet maternity leave..."

The scrapbook!

I got pretty choked up as I went through it! I was quite sad that my friend Jen was unable to make it, but this morning I woke up to a FedEx package full of lacy underthings and a funny card from her! I can hardly wait to see her the night before my wedding! She helped me pick out my dress and has given me a lot of really good advice, I wish she still lived here!!

Finally, I have a stagette on Thursday but it's not a surprise... or maybe there's yet another surprise waiting for me?

Bridezilla!

2005-08-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

I'm ashamed of what I've become.

The clock is ticking and I'm getting married in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!!! There is still so much to do, and very little time to do it in. I don't even have time to blog!

Staying focussed at work is a joke.

My boss: Um, Hi Callie... did you manage to get that switch working at the double data rate?

Me: Hmm, no. [phone ringing in background - hairstylist] I've been trying to get in touch with the vendor, but he seems to be MIA. [email from stepmother-in-law pops into Inbox]

My boss: Do you think you might have something by the end of today?

Me: Well, I have to leave a little early [even though I came in late, and am leaving to go to a spa] so maybe tomorrow morning...

[phone starts ringing again - liquor store with my missing wine order]

Me: Um, do you mind if I get that? [sheepish grin]

The sad truth is that I work with mostly men, and while this might be a bit of a hasty generalization, I doubt that any of them ever had to go for hair consultations or eyebrow shapings before their big day! Well, at least not in their day, they are all over 40. I think the man-spa craze is pretty recent!

Jason and I have planned a good portion of the wedding together and are mostly enjoying ourselves. Not only that, but we're very appreciative of the help we're getting from Jason's sister Andrea (Best Woman and pseudo-MC) and Melina, Jason's step-mom (aka Wedding Planner Goddess)...

But when 2 cases of your wine is missing, your seamstress is holding your dress hostage, you haven't finished your vows, you have no "song", your mother is virtually impossible to get a hold of...

And the etiquette? Don't even get me started. With divorced in-laws, how do you get a set of family photos or say a thank-you speech without hurting someone's feelings or violating some unwritten rule? I stick my foot in my mouth at the best of times, this will be a true test!!!

I guess all I can do is concentrate on not falling down the stairs that make up my "aisle". Just in case though, I'm going to get some nice panties so that I still look nice with my crinoline over my head.

Loving Life

2005-07-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

Last night Jason and I had friends over for a BBQ, some of which we see quite often, some of which we hadn't seen for ages. We had a blast. Good food, great people, wonderful weather and a big deck to share it all on. Neighbors dropped by to see what the hubbub was about, the tea lights flickered in the moonlight and the music wafted around the lot of us.

In particular, one couple, D&A, had just returned from the UK, after having worked overseas for two years. They are now 7 months pregnant and have decided to raise their baby here where they have lots of family. They are so happy, even when their life is a little upside-down - living out of suitcases and expecting a baby in months! They have always been a bit of a role model to me as to what a "happy couple" looks like.

I know them through my ex-boyfriend, K, and the last time I saw them, I was struggling to get through a really low point in my life. I was deeply in debt buying K out of our jointly-purchased condo, I was living with a suicidal roommate to make my mortgage payments, K was dating someone new after telling me he didn't have time for a girlfriend... it was awful.

My friends were really there for me. I remember sleeping on one friend's couch for a week while K and I were still in the final throes of breaking up. She gave me teddy bears to sleep with and we talked for hours between her work shifts. Another friend would meet me in Starbucks when I couldn't sit in front of my desk anymore, we would hide in the overstuffed chairs as I bawled my eyes out. I hid in the bathroom and cried at weddings, cried on my bike in to work, cried and cried until my eyes were puffy messes. It seems like such a long time ago.

A few months down the road, I met Jason. Our friendship really helped me see things differently and his experience really helped me put mine in perspective. I thought a lot about what was important to me. We found out that we had a lot of things in common and valued similar things in a relationship - honesty, a strong belief in and want of a family, being each other's biggest cheerleader, security... our list goes on and on. The development of our friendship to a love relationship has been so amazing and RIGHT. I've never been so sure of anything in my life, it was very easy to say YES!!! to his marriage proposal.

Last night really reaffirmed things in my head. I imagine I must have looked so different to D&A.

Even when things were still okay with K and I, I never had that level of comfort where I could just be me. I used to fade into the background, leaving the limelight to K. I used to keep my mouth shut, leaving the convo to K. And it wasn't necessarily anything that he said or did, it's just the way I was around him, or around any of my exes to that point. I was reigned in, and trapped inside.

At a dinner party I would hide in the kitchen for the most part and fuss around so I couldn't drop anything, or say something silly, or sound ignortant, or whatever.

Now I leave the dishes for later. I'm having too much fun loving life. Jason definitely brings out the best in me. His love and support makes me very confident and the security of our relationship puts me at ease. I can make mistakes and laugh at myself and not worry.

I didn't know it could be like this. What a difference someone can make.

Questions Answered!

2005-07-23T11:28:00.000-07:00

Here are the answers to the great questions that Rambling Girl posed to me a while back! It's taken me a while, but I really had to think about them....

1) what country have you always wanted to travel to and why?

Well I've travelled to most of the countries that interested me at that point and time in my life, things seem to change with each trip I take. I loved the freedom and frivolousness of my trip to Greece and Italy after finishing my degree, I loved the biodiversity of Australia. The people I met during my month in Cuba were so generous, even when they had barely anything, and trying my Spanish was fun. The food in Thailand was superb and learning massage was a really human experience. Yoga in Mexico, lazy days in the Nevis' Caribbean sunshine, travelling from a suitcase through Western Europe and cycling through parts of Eastern Europe... getting engaged in a German castle! Out of all those things, I love people, different cultures and food the most. For those reasons, I'd have to say India. I'd also like to go to Nepal since Jason raves about it so much.

2) what is your absolute favorite outdoor activity?

OH! That's a tough one! I wish I could say swim, bike or run... but instead I choose SURFING!! I love my newfound comfort level in the water, and I love using my yoga know-how to pop up evenly and effortletlessly. I love the feeling of tooling around, bobbing in the water, sitting on the edge of my board, waiting for a nice wave to come along... I love the breathless struggle to paddle hard enough to get going really fast, and of course I love the feeling of the pull on the tail of your board when you've caught the wave just right. The tiny movements you can make to control the board in different directions keep you thinking during your ride... balance! And I love peeling off the top of my wetsuit when it's all said and done, lying in the sun or around a campfire, swapping stories and resting my surf-weary body.

I also love to snowboard, but it's much more forgiving when I fall down surfing!

3) what words of wisdom will you impart on your little niece that you know your sister would never tell her?

My family is very active and healthy, young and strong. But for some reason none of them can understand why I enjoy triathlon so much... "Why do you DO that to yourself?" is the most common thing I hear. Why? Because I CAN. When I first started to date Jason, my family was quite protective, but also they thought that being with someone who had gone through so much would be so hard, and that maybe I was putting myself directly in the line of fire... Sure, it was risky, sure sometimes there are grey days, but developing my relationship with Jason has been the most rewarding and fulfilling experience in my life. And that's something I get to enjoy everyday for the rest of my life.

There are so many people out there that never push themselves, they aren't really interested in seeing what their potential is. For some people it's physical, for some it's mental or emotional... regardless, I like to push the limits a bit. I like to step outside the comfort zone once in a while and take a chance.

My advice would be to push a little, find out what you are capable of, enjoy the risks in life. Don't short-change yourself, you can do anything you set your heart and mind to. Don't get lazy. I don't mean this just in the physical sense, but also emotionally, mentally, academically...

Oh yes, and to let her younger sister (if she has one) borrow her clothes...

4) what do you like most and least about living in Vancouver?

I least enjoy commuting in Vancouver. Even though I live very close to the city center, I find driving unsettling and scary. I haven't owned a car in over a year now, and have resigned myself to public transit. Love the sky train, HATE the bus - bone rattler, loser cruiser, however you want to put it. I hate the steamy feeling on a hot day when people won't open the windows, and I can't stand people who stare at my knitting! Although, there are a lot of cute grandmas who ask what I'm making. I bike to work quite a lot, but find the bike paths lacking. Too many near-door-prizes and people using roundabouts wrong. I still do it, but am on high alert the whole ride.

I love the diversity of Vancouver, the different ethnicities and cultures. I love living close to the Punjabi Market and Chinatown. I love knowing where to go for good sushi, butter chicken, dim sum, Polish sausage, souvlaki, Jamaican patties... I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. And did I mention the cinnamon buns at the Jewish bakery? To die for!

5) what song makes you laugh?

There was a two-record set put out by K-Tel when I was little, it was called Goofy Greats. It had songs like Snoopy vs. the Red Baron, Guitarzan, Yellow Polka-dot Bikini, Boney Maronie, The Name Game... anyhow whenever I sing those songs at the top of my lungs (much to Jason's and Bella's amusement) it reminds me of being a kid, doing the same thing and dividing the parts to sing with my brother and sister. Mostly, I love singing Guitarzan...

They've got a pet monkey
who likes to get drunkey
and sing boogie woogie
cuz it sounds real funky
so c'mon.... sing one, Monkey!

OOh Uh Uh Uh ....

2005-07-19T22:42:00.000-07:00

Baby Ashley!

2005-07-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

Bella joining me in a spinal twist...

2005-07-16T13:39:00.000-07:00

Yet Another Sweater Set...

Yoga Response

2005-07-15T11:42:00.000-07:00

I am one of those people that "responds" to yoga. I don't mean that I can put my toes in my ears, or my nose to my shins. I mean that something in my psyche really reacts to letting go of competition and judgement.

Sometimes when I am struggling to get into a pose, I start thinking about accepting my limitations in the pose, and I'll close my eyes to draw my focus inward rather than trying to compete with the hypermobile woman in front of me. When I do this, I often release a few tears, or a loud sigh to dissipate the tension. A bit embarassing to some, but that's just what happens. When I close my eyes, I don't have to worry about people looking at me, or judging me, because I can't see them.

If I can get to that acceptance state, I can relax into the pose wherever I am, and hold it for ages. If I can't get to that state, I continue to struggle and wobble and fall over. I wake up the next morning sore, frustrated.

I am feeling that struggle with my yoga apprenticeship. The harder I try, the more I feel like I'm fighting it. I'm just not there yet. I can do the poses and say the cues, but I can't sell it when I urge people to let go. Because I haven't let go yet.

So last night I wobbled and fell over. After finishing my yoga class, I went to my mentor Heidi, prepared to ask her what I should prepare for my segment of Monday's class. Instead I just started to cry. I had no idea that was going to happen. But it did and it felt great.

Heidi chuckled at my embarassment, telling me that it's great I'm having such a "yoga response" to my experience with the apprenticeship. She likened my experience to her own 10 years ago, when she started out from her fitness instructor background. Her studio kept her as an apprentice for almost 2 years because they didn't believe she was "there" yet. But nobody told her what they really thought, and she never clued in herself to what was holding her back. She's an amazing instructor now, and a wonderful mentor.

She told me to keep coming twice a week, just to reestablish my own practice. She said anytime I felt like it, I could walk around and help her with adjustments, or teach part of the class. No pressure, no deadlines.

I walked away feeling like a million bucks.

On hiatus...

2005-07-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

Well, once and for all I'm going to practice what I preach. Every time I teach a class, I tell people to listen to and respect the limitations of their bodies.

But this whole season, I've been ignoring mine. I've done two major races without properly rehabbing my knee. I've been neglecting my yoga practice because of all the swimming, biking and running. I'm even eating meat with reckless abandon.

So it's time for me to say goodbye to tri for the rest of the season. To kick off my "non-training", I had a massage therapy appt yesterday and am visiting my physio today. I've gone to yoga TWICE this week. I might even go to one of Eion Finn's Showboat classes this weekend!

I'll probably go to Kits pool this weekend and fit a nice long ride in as well. But it will be for FUN, rather than for training. Maybe taking a break from running will allow my knee to mend a bit. Maybe the yoga will help balance out my glutes. Maybe the stretching will undo all the evil I've wrought on my body in the past year. Maybe a break from my carnivorous ways will keep me from getting that heavy-distended-stomach feeling that always follows a meaty meal.

Maybe I will finally get to put on a bikini and loll in the sun for a weekend instead of alternating between bike shorts, swim goggles, and running shoes. The tan lines don't lie.

Yard Sale & Squamish Tri

2005-07-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a bit of a blur...

Jason and I decided to have a yard sale on Saturday to get rid of all the "doubles", that's what happens when you combine two fully-stocked households! I ran the sale side of things, while Jason was my support staff - getting change, cinnamon buns and Jamaican patties, carting leftovers to the Sally Ann... The experience taught me that there are a TON of weird people in Vancouver that collect junk. And people are cheap. My dialogue with one guy was as follows:

Cheap Dude: How much for this?

He's pointing to a large pile, containing well over $10 worth of stuff.

Me: Since you're buying so much, how about $7?

Cheap Dude: How about $3?

Me: What?!! That's not even half! How about $5?

Cheap Dude: How about $3?

Me: Fine. $3.

GR! One woman told me I should give her a discount because she was sending all her stuff to Lithuania. Seriously? The postage would cost more that the goods... I call BULLSHIT! But then there were some really cute old grandmas that I gave really good deals to and one Vietnamese man whose family was trying to learn their English vocab - I gave him a Scrabble game.

All in all, we wound up with $300, which is enough to buy a bike trailer (two-seater) that we can remove the seats from and put Bella in. That way, we can take her along on our next cycle tour through the Gulf Islands, which we're doing for our honeymoon the week after the wedding! Hopefully she doesn't try to claw her way out!

Wetsuiterrific!

The Squamish tri was yesterday and again, my knee managed to perform! I managed to beat my last year's time by a minute! All the time I managed to knock off my swim and bike were regained on my run, gr! So next year my (easy) goal is to bring it down by 5 minutes. My sighting still sucked, but at least I didn't drown or veer toooo far off course. The bike was FUN, I was in aero position for the majority of the flat course. The run was awful - it's steep for the first 5k, then mostly downhill for the last half.

LAST YEAR: 33:13 swim, 1:24:12 bike (with trans), 51:44 run
THIS YEAR: 30:59 swim, 1:21:16 bike (with trans), 55:26 run
NEXT YEAR: 29:00 swim, 1:18:00 bike (with trans), 50:00 run (we'll see...)

My transitions were awful. There were two different transition areas, so I couldn't find my shoes in T2 and in T1 took about a million seconds to get my bike gloves on.

Andrea, my future sister-in-law, had her 5-year race-iversary and managed to get a personal best! Rachel, our friend who recently returned to tri after a few years break from competing for world-level type races came third in her age group! HI, welcome back, here's your medal!

Chicks of Tri! Jen, Rachel, Andrea & I (SHRIMP!)

Jason managed to cut his time from last year, but didn't enjoy his experience quite as much. He thinks he swam "like a donkey" but I think he did great! There are so many emotions tied up in this for him since he started doing this specific race in memory of Ang last year, so it isn't really surprising that he will probably always cry at the end. I think that is a good thing, and that we should do the race every year.

Rachel, Jason and I apr�s race

Losing the Bubble

2005-07-07T11:37:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my family was of the tight-lipped, no-touching genre. There were no kisses goodbye if I went to my girlfriend's house for a sleepover, no tearful I-love-you's when I headed off for university. We were more of the "tough love" set. I remember one night, when I was about 9, my parents were fighting and my dad went to stay at his parent's house to cool off. He was crying and my mom told all of us to go give him a hug before he left. That was the most contact I had had with my dad for most of my memorable pre-teen to adult years.

Now that I'm an adult, I can see how this has shaped me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting the blame on my parents. Their childhoods were a lot rougher than mine and I know why they are the way they are.

I couldn't let people inside my bubble. I remember how hard a time I had opening up to my first boyfriend, my closest girlfriends and eventually to my older sister when she left the house. I remember living with one girlfriend who said "I love you" to her family members everytime she hung up the phone and how weird I thought that was. And the hugging? I was a bumbling fool, awkward when my friends went to hug me, and never EVER the instigator. Don't even get me started on the little cheek kisses that I still manage to mess up! Is it one kiss, or two? Some people go three! Even in my late 20's, I still bump heads trying to avoid it.

My brother's girlfriend Kristi always comments on how un-touchy-feely my family is. From her influence, my brother has gotten much more huggy in his adulthood. My sister is similar, especially with her newborn. The last time we visited while she was pregnant, we were all huddled around her tummy with our hands on it, waiting for Ashley to kick. I know that I have gotten much much better under Jason's influence. His family is extremely open with expressing their feelings to each other, which is great. In fact, Jason is known in my family for being all about the man-love, hugging all the men in my family as well as the women! Funny! It threw my brother and dad off at first, but I think they secretly like him for it. Jason and I always tell each other we love each other, before we leave the house, hang up the phone or just whenever the feeling strikes. He will kiss me goodbye in front of his friends, or hold my hand in public or give me a hug while we're waiting for the crosswalk.

The other night, I was meeting someone for the first(ish) time at the house for dinner - the time before was a brief intro - and I surprised myself by going for the hello hug! I think I surprised her a little too! It felt good. I felt like I had been cured a little.

As my wedding date approaches, I find myself wondering how weird it will be to see our two families meet. They are so different. I know Jason's family will say wonderful glowing things, love love love... I wonder if my family will still be the tight-lips? I know Jason's family will be all hugs and kisses and tears and I'm really hoping that will open the floodgates on my side as well... okay, maybe not the floodgates. I would settle for a teeny tiny crack between the doors. The hinges probably need oiling.

Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Goodbye Devinci, hello Trek!

2005-07-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

Va-va-voom!

Today I did something completely un-Callie-like! I bought a brand new bike! A 43cm 2004 Trek 2200 WSD (women specific design)... Ultegra and Bontrager Race components, it even has a carbon front and rear fork! Airstryke F-19 aero-bars!

Is it in my budget? No. But James made me a great deal, even ate the tax and threw in the aero-bars! Hard to say no, especially after I felt the wind rush past me zipping up and down the hills on my test ride through the Seymour Demonstration Forest. Jason rode alongside me and commented on how happy and comfortable I looked. Besides, what do those bike store guys want with a teeny tiny 43cm frame from last year? Seems like the perfect sale to me!

The last bike I bought when I was just starting out, after having done a few sprints with my mountain bike. The bike was a year-old XS Devinci Chicane that Bike Doctor was trying to get rid of. It didn't fit me very well, I was pretty stretched out, but didn't really know any better. It's gotten me through a bunch of races quite well! But after completing my 6th triathlon, and a half-Iron at that, I feel like I've finally earned my way to the next level!

Too big!

Now I have no more excuses, I told Jason that if I bought the bike that I would have to get more serious about my bike training. I've had no problem getting into Masters swimming, or half-marathon clinics, but I've never been part of any formal bike training. With my knee still recovering and my running at a minimum, I figure this is the year of the bike!

Practi-Callie-ty

2005-06-27T16:13:00.000-07:00

I've been having serious bouts of bike envy over the past while. Watching the Cannondales, Treks and Cervelos whip past me at the 1/2 Iron, not to mention Andrea's recent acquisition of a brand new bike from La Bicicletta has me pining for something lighter and more high-end. I'm not saying that the bike will make such a huge difference in my bike time, that will have to come from my weeeeee lil' quads! But my bike is really entry level and I figure I'm worthy of something nicer. Okay, okay, and I secretly hope that it might make a tiny difference if my quads decide to stay little!

Nice timing though. My company announced this morning that their US employees are taking pay cuts to avoid further layoffs (10% of our staff were cut today) and they're appealing to the Canadian counterparts to do the same thing, voluntarily. My stock options are currently selling for 10 cents lower than the price at which I was issued them. I'm getting married in August and the wedding costs are high, even though we're getting a ton of freebies and lucky breaks. I still owe my parents money I borrowed for my condo downpayment. The list goes on and on...

The sad truth is though that you live the majority of your life in debt. Anyone who has a mortgage can tell you that! I choose to contribute to my RRSPs, I choose to keep my condo as a rental investment. I could cash in either of those and not have to ride the bus, or buy a wedding dress on consignment, or live the pseudo "paycheck to paycheck" lifestyle I've adopted. I could quit my job and travel the world with Jason and Bella! But I don't. Why? Because I'm practical. Or grown-up, or lame, or too responsible. However you want to look at it, that's what I am.

I have lots of friends that make way less than me and live far more frivolous lifestyles. Maybe I should live a little and let loose the purse strings? Nope. Instead I will find a nice used bike, to go with my secondhand wedding dress! Sigh.

I'm currently investigating a beautiful blue 2004 Trek 2200 WSD... 43cm! Sounds too good to be true, I hope everything checks out. The Cannondale Multisport 2000 (48cm) that I tried was way too big. Wish me luck!

Klutzy McSpazzerson

2005-06-23T11:46:00.000-07:00

This morning on my bike into work, I got a boo-boo. I was slowing to a stop at an intersection, then eeking my way out onto the road so I could see past the parked cars... I clipped out on my right side (which is a no-no, since I normally use my left) and as I tried to shift my balance, I couldn't unclip my left side. I fell over. From a dead stop. With one foot free. I just fell over.

And I wasn't by myself. There was another cyclist there, plus the car that had stopped to let me cross.

So embarassing.

Luckily I am the first aid attendant at my office and can tend to my own wounds without having to explain to anyone what happened!

Religion Quiz... Interesting

2005-06-22T09:40:00.000-07:00

You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already.

In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth.

Buddhism

88%

Islam

67%

agnosticism

67%

Satanism

67%

Hinduism

63%

Paganism

50%

Christianity

42%

atheism

29%

Judaism

25%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
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